Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places, Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger, Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Thursday, June 08, 2006

"Summer Lovin, happened so fast"

LOL, couldn't think of another decent title so I pinched the one from Grease which has nothing to do with my life at the moment at all, it is however still summer up here in the usually frozen north east of England!

I note that the sky is blue and the sun is shining brightly and it's already far too warm to be sitting in the house.

Off to my real psychotherapy appointment this morning and I have even more to tell them now than I did the othe day, i wonder if 1 year of treatment is going to be enough! LOL

I realised something poigniant for the first time yesterday and it's this:-

On the whole in my marraige I give Paul an easy time, I have him up on a pedestal and still adore him in the same way I did when we married 6 years ago. The thing is though that it's unlikely he'll ever fall off as compared with my last husband who was a wife beating Moron Paul is a veritable Angel.

On the other side of the fence I am Pauls first real adult relationship, he was 24 when we met and still vary much a lad, one of the boys, his main thoughts were footie, drinking and ladies, so I guess for Paul he's no idea of just how awful some relationships can be and because he seeks perfection and I am less than perfect I am never going to be the same to him as he is to me. Paul saved me from myself, from a myriad of bad relationships, from an awful life but what did I save him from, nothing really I just stopped all his fun, gave him a plethora of new problems and promised him a hugely difficult relationship, so I guess no matter how hard I've basically got no chance.

I just hope that one day he'll see that it could be much worse and there are people who he could be having relationships with who would hurt him and stomp on him and take away his very being without a second thought, it's not until you have been on that side of the fence that you understand that.

Tell someone you love them today, try to look past all the faults and remember it could be so much worse.
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