Newcastle Photographer and Content Creator, Mandy Charlton, Always on a quest for adventure, often seen on buses, trains and planes. On a quest to be happier and healthier. Lives in Newcastle with her 3 cats, Iris, Maggie and Arthur. Loves good vibes, musicals and cakes. Full time professional wedding photographer in the north east of england alongside content creator on Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook

Thursday, June 08, 2006

"Summer Lovin, happened so fast"

LOL, couldn't think of another decent title so I pinched the one from Grease which has nothing to do with my life at the moment at all, it is however still summer up here in the usually frozen north east of England!

I note that the sky is blue and the sun is shining brightly and it's already far too warm to be sitting in the house.

Off to my real psychotherapy appointment this morning and I have even more to tell them now than I did the othe day, i wonder if 1 year of treatment is going to be enough! LOL

I realised something poigniant for the first time yesterday and it's this:-

On the whole in my marraige I give Paul an easy time, I have him up on a pedestal and still adore him in the same way I did when we married 6 years ago. The thing is though that it's unlikely he'll ever fall off as compared with my last husband who was a wife beating Moron Paul is a veritable Angel.

On the other side of the fence I am Pauls first real adult relationship, he was 24 when we met and still vary much a lad, one of the boys, his main thoughts were footie, drinking and ladies, so I guess for Paul he's no idea of just how awful some relationships can be and because he seeks perfection and I am less than perfect I am never going to be the same to him as he is to me. Paul saved me from myself, from a myriad of bad relationships, from an awful life but what did I save him from, nothing really I just stopped all his fun, gave him a plethora of new problems and promised him a hugely difficult relationship, so I guess no matter how hard I've basically got no chance.

I just hope that one day he'll see that it could be much worse and there are people who he could be having relationships with who would hurt him and stomp on him and take away his very being without a second thought, it's not until you have been on that side of the fence that you understand that.

Tell someone you love them today, try to look past all the faults and remember it could be so much worse.


Anonymous said...

I love you

Anonymous said...

Dr Elf says... there's the problem. you have put him up on the pedestal and given him far to much to live up to. Plus things on pedestals can be knocked off. Not good for people or the best china.

I bet he's not perfect as well as you not being so. You have to look past your faults as well and remember that you are equals in the relationship and you haven't stopped him from doing anything; if he wanted to spend all his time playing footy and drinking beer then he still would and you'd be at home looking after the kids.

I don't think he is seeking perfection in you he is trying to help you be the person he sees you are.

You need to realise your own worth. I want you to look in the mirror every morning and tell the person looking back how pretty she is and how she is worthy of the love of a wonderful man and family.

Yes the bad stuff is easier to believe as most people have a low self image but it doesn't mean it's true.

jafabrit said...

anon said it best. hope the appointment goes well.

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