My Daughters, The Superheroes

Hello lovely world, I'm back and I hope I can start blogging more often again now that I've actually caught up to date with editing for the first time since summer.  It's been a mad old year, it was quiet for so long and then completely crazy and with autumn being the gorgeous season it has been, work has been off the hook crazy which is good for me!

Yesterday I breathed a huge sigh of relief, no weddings or photo shoots to edit and this weekend I'm only working on Sunday as I have a rare Saturday off to go to London to do a photo walk with Three with Looby and Harriet.  Harriet hasn't ever explored London before (she's in her mid 30's so I find this fact weird) but Looby and I have promised to take her to see some of the sights and more importantly to take her to the Christmas department in Harrods.

Things have been going amazingly lately with my own businesses and Inspire, since we became a social enterprise it's made people realise that we're not in this to buy big mansions whilst we watch others struggle, if anything, it's probably the other way around, we literally put everything in we can whilst taking very little, tomorrow we've got our first big video recording day and the Inspire gift guide full of locally sourced products produced by women from all over the north of England promises to be quite the event, looking at the box of currently wrapped gifts we've received makes me feel, festive, fuzzy and warm.

Something I've experienced this year which has stood out to me is that I've found people who have issues with me, this to me is so weird as I rarely have issues with anyone I literally live my life in a little bubble, I write about my life in the here and now keeping it as real as I can and giving a first person account of a single entrepreneurial parent who lives with bipolar and anxiety, I don't gloss over the bad parts but I feel pretty lucky that there are more good parts and yet this year I've found people who have judged me, people who have "beef" for no good reason and some that even wanted my actual downfall.  Well I'm still here, I have virtual ear muffs on to drown out any haters and I'm eternally thankful to have a small circle of the most incredible friends who support me and love me for who I am.

I'm also lucky enough to have daughters who are total superheroes, just to give a for instance, I went out on Monday to a blogger event, it didn't start well as I had a migraine but I don't think I'd ever been to an event where I felt so uncomfortable and out of place, I should say it was nothing to do with the event and everything to do with me, I just can't do people or social situations, I'm incredibly awkward, I can't make small talk and when I left, along with every muscle in my neck being in spasm, I was an anxious mess.  I got home, told Looby and she gave me a massive hug because she knows, she's just come to understand how it is, when I'm out with her or Abigail, I usually always feel safe and like I can conquer the world and if I do get anxious they hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay.  Abigail is by far the most amazing girl for advice and for telling me off when I hate myself.  Of course it's a two way thing and I provide them with everything I can give but isn't it a wonderful thing to have such an amazing relationship with your teenagers?

As we start our descent into the crazy season, Christmas is the closest thing to a bipolar manic state, anyone who has bipolar will understand what I mean, bipolar is like the over-excitement of Christmas combined with the sad regret of January all combined in one.  My manic states can be compared to those dancing Christmas lights which get faster and faster, they start so pretty and twinkly and end up an utter mess of overstimulation.  Be kind to your friends who have mental health issues at Christmas because without a doubt, it's the most challenging time of year from us, I make light of it, of course, because you have to laugh at yourself.

Well, I've rambled quite enough now, in truth I was going to write this at 1am when I couldn't sleep and a snoring beagle was so close to me she was almost lying on my cheek, I'll be back with another gift guide very soon and until then, enjoy that build up to the most wonderful time of the year.

16 gifts your whole family will love - Christmas Gift Guide 2018

It's officially time to launch the first of my 4 gift guides this year, this year I'm producing my family gift guide (that's this one) a foodies gift guide (due out next) a stocking fillers gift guide and finally a last minute gift guide which will go out just a couple of weeks before Christmas.  Christmas gift guides are my favourite, with the help of companies large and small from all around the internet I get to bring you my favourite festive buys your whole family will love so here without further ado are 16 gifts your whole family will love.

For the pet lover

Personalised Pet Coaster and BIA Bling Mugs - 

Tis the season for hot chocolate and if you like your pet as much as I love my pet you'll love this personalised wooden coaster from A Few Home Truths it's simply gorgeous and now has pride of place on my desk for all of my morning, noon and evening hot chocolates.  Also, if you like this festive sparkly mug, you might be interested to know that they're available in sets of four and can be purchased from wonderful retailer Not Just Jugs, they're the perfect size for hot chocolate topped with cream and festive sprinkles, Santa would be quite delighted with milk in this mug too!

Pet Water Fountain - 

Cats and dogs much prefer to drink from running water sources and this Drinkwell Pagoda Pet Fountain from Pet Safe, I can tell you that Holly Bobbins is a big fan as is Pyracantha the cat once Holly Bobbins isn't around, yes it maybe a little extra but isn't that what Christmas is about and I promise your pet will love it.

For the whole family

Christmas Cards from Hallmark

Although it's not technically a gift, we send a staggering amount of Christmas cards in the UK and where would we be without Hallmark who have the most brilliant selection including your favourite couple, mum and dad, friends and all family members.

Walkers Musical Tin

You can't have Christmas without shortbread, well you can but seriously, shortbread is one of the most festive biscuits around and when you put it in a tin which plays Jingle Bells, consider that the most christmassy tin of biscuits you ever did see.

5 Gold Rings Card Game

Christmas is a time for getting together with the whole family, it's about having the time to play games together whilst you sit eating nuts and having an extra glass of wine, this Five Gold Rings card game is based on the TV show presented by Phillip Schofield and will keep you entertained long into the night.

For The Crafty One

Festive Bunting Kit

This festive bunting kit from Crafters Companion is sure to keep that crafty family member out of trouble during the long festive break, maybe you could even gift it early and then adorn your house with it when you are decking the halls.

For The Scent Appreciator

Candles and Diffuser From I Love Cosmetics

I love cosmetics have produced a whole new load of scents for this years collection and they're now producing the most gorgeous smelling diffusers and candles and all at really reasonable prices, Elderflower fizz has been my most favourite scent they've produced this year, every time I smell it, it reminds me of a summer wedding in an old english church.  Their Christmas gifts are quite simply fabulous but I'll warn you now, you'll want it all.

Forest Friends Reed Diffuser Set from Wax Lyrical

A favourite company of mine, Wax Lyrical have gone that extra mile with this forest friends reed diffuser gift set, all which have the different gorgeous smells of the festive season, you can be sure I'll be keeping these scents placed all around my house for the whole of the festive season.

For the Teen

Roller Skates from skates.co.uk

Firm blog favourites skates.co.uk have come up trumps again with these beautiful blue roller skates and you can guess which daughter wants them for Christmas, actually they both do but Abigail declared that they'd be better for Looby as she's less accident prone, hehe!  I love them too and if I wasn't 44 and utterly accident prone then I would have them on my Christmas list too.

For the bookworms 

A Girl Behind Dark Glasses

A Girl Behind Dark Glasses is a factual account of one girl's battle against severe M.E. written by Jessica Taylor-Bearmann, Jessical tells the tale of the battle against the monster that is M.E. a harrowing story which follows the highs and lows of being hospitalised, captured completely by a voice activated technology diary which meant she could fulfil her goal to become a writer.

In The Fast Lane

In the Fast Lane by Lotte Moore is a story for those of us who keep trying, sometimes failing, yo keep all of the juggling balls in the air!

It's a complex tale of family relationships and challenges and all written by octogenarian author Lotte Moore, it's an emotional moving book about the ups and downs of family life which poses the question, can we ever truly be happy living life in the fast lane.

The Love Detective

The Love Detective by Angela Dyson is the first in a series "He'd thought himself a hunter, that I was easy prey but what he hadn't bargained for was contending with a woman who hadn't eaten a square meal in twenty_four hours. I get mean when I get hungry."

Appetite

Appetite is a novel by Anita Cassidy focusing on 3 main characters, Naomi, David and Matthew, it's about "food and sex, appetites we stimulate yet struggle to control, what happens when you give into your appetite and get hungry for more."

For The Whiskey Lover

Bramble Whisky Liqueur 

This Bramble Whisky Liqueur may look quite small but it's bound to pack a punch and is available from Demijohn and it would make a fabulous stocking filler.


So, phew, we've reached the end of part one and in just a week or so I'll be back with my gift guide for foodies which is always my particular favourite as I love food, cooking, being in the kitchen, entertaining... I am the woman who gets overexcited at platters and storage jars!!

Thank you so much to all of the companies who collaborated by sending items for this years guide, I really couldn't appreciate it more.

Santa on the Rooftop - Fenwick, Newcastle upon Tyne

If you live in Newcastle upon Tyne, love Santa and you're a fan of Fenwick, you are in for the most festive treat ever if you've managed to book a slot for Santa on the Rooftop this year.

Looby and I went along yesterday and I can tell you it's worth every penny, we paid £11.50 per ticket and it's an understatement to say I was over-excited, I love Christmas so much and having a chance to meet Santa is always overwhelming for me.  To me, Santa is like the ultimate rockstar and it doesn't matter how old I am, Christmas is so firmly embedded in my heart.

Yesterday was so special, from our first greeting with an elf who beckoned us to a secret part of Fenwick to actually meeting the jolly old elf.

I don't want to give too many spoilers because I don't want spoil the magic of the experience but we made reindeer sing, we made decoupage toys in the elves workshop, it even snowed, oh and of course, Looby and I spent a good 10 minutes with the man himself.  Now, at the age of 44 and being a single parent,  no one really ever asks me what I want for Christmas and especially not Santa, I don't remember him asking me since I was a child so I have to admit to becoming a little tongue tied as I wasn't prepared.  The truth of the matter is all I really want for Christmas is for those I love, my children and my friends to be happy, yes, one day I'd like to find my own elf, someone who loves Christmas as much as me but it's a big ask and so for now, it's enough to see those around me happy and being loved.

Looby wasn't so tongue tied and she and Santa even ganged up on me insisting yes, we should move to South Shields near to her stables and she should be able to have a horse for Christmas, she does ask every year but a horse, well it's such a big ask, it's not like a kitten or a puppy, one day I know I'll be in a position to help grant that wish but for now, she's just going to have to settle for extra horse riding equipment/clothing.

The highlight of yesterday was when it snowed, I can't imagine a more magical setting than the rooftop of what surely is Newcastle's most festive department store (sorry John Lewis, you know I love you too but Fenwick just has the extra edge at Christmas).

The whole experience lasted around 45 minutes and we didn't feel rushed, we also had our own elf and that's testament to the fact that Fenwick haven't oversold the event so you're not likely to be accompanied by lots of people, they just take up a handful at a time and maybe that's what makes it quite so special.  The views of the city are magical enough for me to have attended, I love rooftop views and Fenwick certainly have some of the best around in central Newcastle.

You know, Looby may be 15 but last year we made a promise to always go and find Father Christmas every year no matter how old we are, as I've said so many times before, as long as you have Christmas in your heart there will always be magic.

A Tough Week

It's Monday, my day off and here I am, sitting at my desk for the first time in days after a hugely busy working week last week, I shot way over 30 sessions from Wednesday onwards so you'll forgive me for my blogging absence.

In addition to that I also shot all of my gift guide products last Thursday, they're far from written but powered with copious rounds of toast and cups of festive hot chocolates, there's nothing really that I can't achieve.

October was a rough month for me personally, it always is, it has been for years with the same things happening over and over and I credit myself with being a moron for letting them happen.  I think my lonely heart betrays my sensible head far too often.

I've also been completely ill despite taking every vitamin in the world to keep me well, I guess it would have been much worse if I didn't take them but I'm grateful to a lovely company called Flyte who produce clean energy drinks made with the caffeine from green coffee, they offered to send me a case and it's pretty much how I made it through the week if I'm honest, unlike most energy drinks they didn't make me feel fluffy or headachy, they weren't too sweet and they didn't taste like chemicals, I would certainly drink them again, especially the green mango which was just delicious.

The Pumpkin Day photo shoots in Jesmond Dene went incredibly well, it was a day filled with the cutest tiny babies and their siblings and it was so successful that I'm doing it all again but with giant wrapped presents, some of them may even be big enough to fit a family member or pet inside one or two of the boxes.

If you would like to book for the Christmas portrait day in Jesmond Dene on the 1st December you can see all of the details on that wee post above or just contact me through my Facebook Page

This week I'm hoping for a nicer, gentler, kinder week, I have 2 weddings to finish editing and about 30 portrait sessions and my calendar is really filling in a crazy kind of way so if you want a session before Christmas please don't hang around. 

I shall be back later in the week with my first gift guide of the season, filled with the yummiest photos of the best products around for you to give to your wonderful friends and family this Christmas day and if you need to contact me in between times, I'll be right next to the nearest hot chocolate stirred with a candy cane of course!

Christmas 2018 starts here - 8 Weeks to go

Today is officially 8 weeks until Christmas Day, can you believe that, it seems like it's only weeks since we were turning over a new leaf on the 2018 calendar and already we're nearing the end of the year, for me it's been such a challenging year and given the choice, I'm not sure I'd ask to repeat it anytime soon but being that Christmas is the very epicentre of my universe I'm determined to make the next 8 weeks as sparkly as blooming well possible.  I see Christmas as a beacon of hope, it's a happy time, it's filled with lovely things and everyone is just a little nicer during the festive period and when you're a lonely old singleton, well these are the things you appreciate most of all.

So, the first thing I've done this week is record my very first Youtube video for about a year, I'm determined to crack Youtube once and for all this year and so I hope you'll give my 5 favourite budget friendly advent calendars for 2018 video a watch!

You see, I love Christmas but I wouldn't want anyone to end up completely broke and in trouble over it.  For me, Christmas is about friends, food and family, now I may not have any family apart from my 3 teens but I am lucky enough to have been adopted by lovely Harriet and her family and that's who I'll be spending Christmas with, I'm so thankful for that.

Over the next 8 weeks I'm going to be recording several festive videos focusing on all things Christmas, decorations, presents, decking your halls and making merry, I've got it all covered!

This week I'm writing all of my festive gift guides, so this year I'll be featuring my general biggest ever gift guide, my gift guide for foodies (my particular favourite) and also a stocking fillers under £20 advent calendar which I haven't actually began to collate yet but I figure no one buys the stocking fillers until last right?

I have things for mums, for pets, for teens, pretty much everyone is going to be covered in there so stick with me over the next 8 weeks and don't forget in one weeks time it's officially okay to watch Love Actually as that movie begins 7 weeks before Christmas!  Although if you are anything like me you've been watching back to back Christmas movies on Christmas24 for the last 2 weeks and last week completely fed up, I even watched Elf for the first time this year.

Christmas I am coming to get you!

Life 1 - Mandy 0

It's been such a busy week that I'd not found the time to have even a quiet few moments to blog, packages keep arriving for this years Christmas gift guides which make me smile and thank goodness as life hasn't been too smiley for the last couple of days, a combination of a migraine I've had for 3 days now, my heart being squashed out of shape and just feeling all over off colour.

Life 1 - Mandy 0

As much as I would like to pour my heart out on my blog, sometimes I think it's just not worth it, I kind of made a promise that there are some things I don't talk about, mostly because of Abigail and Looby so suffice to say, I'm a moron, always have been, always will be.

You know, I am a dreamer, a lover, someone who can find magic in the smallest of things, I read this week for instance that we should truly cherish our friends who think about Christmas in February because they are the purest of heart, it's nice to think of myself like that, I just hung a quote on my stairs which says "As long as you have Christmas in your heart there will always be magic".  I've said that to the kids for years, I actually thought it was from a movie but it seems it might have been my own dose of wisdom, I have that you know, even if it isn't something I choose to use on myself.

For years I've looked to only see the good in others and this is the year when that has truly smacked me in the face, I know now that not all people are lovely or treat others as they want to be treat themselves, I still like to believe in good though and I think the reality is probably something like 90% of people are good and only 10% masquerade as good people but are truly cold with shrivelled hearts underneath.

I guess this is the year when I have learned so many lessons, whilst it's been not my favourite year I've definitely learnt so much from it, at least when you make mistakes you have something to learn from it.

Someone said recently of me that they worried for my mental health because it seems so all over the place and you know, I think that's because I blog, I write about how I'm feeling at the time when I sit down, I never pre-prepare blogs (kudos to the bloggers who do) and being bipolar, maybe I could describe that as when your brain is all over the place, it get's worse as you age unfortunately and I am, of course, considerably older than 2846!

Earlier today I described myself as an old bag of fat potatoes because that's how I currently feel, like a fat potato, you know the slightly mouldy one at the back of the cupboard, maybe not quite so bad as the ones which smell, I'm not quite that bad yet 😉(how did I just discover that you can blog with emoji now?)

I have several things I need to beat currently, when I'm not out working with my camera, basically people terrify me, I know it's agoraphobia but it takes me such a long time to get out of the house and carrying an enormous heavy camera and lens around isn't really a solution.  I think maybe I've been so ground down this year that I just feel like I'm not worthy of spending time with others, yep it's entirely crappy but that's anxiety for you.  I wish I could go back to before May when I thought I could change the world with my secret superhero pants and maybe next year I'll make a comeback with a new superhero weapon but until then, has anyone got a large cupboard I could come and hide in?

Fenwick's Christmas Window 2018 Revealed *spoilers*

It's that time of year again, The Fenwick Christmas gift department is open with huge clues pointing at the theme of this years Christmas window, if you don't want to know what it is, scroll past now...

Okay, if you remained, Looby and I think it's....The Snowman, in fact we're 99% confident, why?

Well, one, we were talking to a staff member yesterday who had been told that the pop up cafe was a huge clue (it's called The Snowman cafe) and two, it's the 40th anniversary of the publication of The Snowman by Raymond Briggs and Fenwick have lots of things devoted to that special event in their new Christmas gift department which this year, is in the basement.

Looby and I wandered around the Christmas department yesterday feeling that something was amiss, we can't put our finger on it but it seemed unfinished, it's certainly bigger now that it's taken over the basement but it just didn't feel as Christmassy as in previous years when it was on the second floor.

There are wooden frames up all around the department that look like they're a shell which need things attaching to, now either they've gone for a minimalistic look (awful, please never do it again) or they're not completing it until the windows are revealed in around 3 weeks from now (too late, the game is up, you might as well just do it).

I do think Fenwick have had an issue ever since they started having a dedicated Christmas gift department as it always reveals what the windows are going to be, even when they're trying to be all secret squirrel about it.  Looby and I of course are the great detectives and judges of all things Christmas being that we are possibly Newcastle's biggest fans of Christmas.

One thing Fenwick are doing differently this year is a whole new Santa's Rooftop experience, it sounds so exciting so after checking that it would still be age appropriate for Looby and I we've booked to go on November 5th home education comes in really helpful sometimes as most of the peak dates at weekends are already sold out.  Apparently if you're in Newcastle, you can already see signs that Santa's house is being erected upon the roof.  I can't even tell you how excited we are to go up there, not only for the experience but also for the epic views of Newcastle, it's £11.50 per person but it promises to last around 45 minutes to an hour so not too bad for Looby and I although if you're a big family I guess it's not the cheapest activity especially when in previous years a visit to Santa in Fenwick has always been a free activity.

Just to say, in case you're wondering, I wasn't paid to write this, it's not collaborative and Looby and I have bought our own tickets, we're just massive Christmas fans and assessing Christmas departments really has become our self given jobs at this time of year.

In conclusion, you can bet Looby and I will attend this years window unveiling, you can bet we'll queue like 5 year olds and take photos of every window and we really hope that we did spy the Christmas department in an unfinished state, it is after all only the start of the 3rd week of October.  if it is the finished article though, well, we might just have to jump on a train to Edinburgh to see Jenners in all it's glory in just a few weeks time.