So, without further ado, here are 11 gifts your mum will love this Mother's Day.
Mandy Charlton - Photographer, Writer, Blogger
Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places. Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger. Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins
Thursday, March 04, 2021
11 gifts your mum will love this Mother's Day (AD, GIFTED PRODUCTS)
So, without further ado, here are 11 gifts your mum will love this Mother's Day.
Wednesday, February 10, 2021
How David Tennant is going to help me find my soulmate
As many of you know, I have been single now for a very long time, pretty much, I've been a single lady since September 2014. Partly I was just so damaged that I didn't even dream of going near another human in the dating sense and when I did briefly try in 2016, I found, I was in no capable or emotional state to be able to deal with the basics a decent human relationship requires.
As time has gone on I've started to heal and last year I decided that I would give it a go, I started to go to the pub, I actually opened my eyes to what was out there and even smiled at a person or two but then covid happened and I, like the rest of the world retreated into our prisons of solitude.
One year on from that and I'm so done with being alone, it's made me really question if I can actually spend the rest of my life alone and the answer is, probably but I don't think it would be a lot of fun! If covid, social distancing and lockdowns have taught us anything it's that humans are not supposed to be alone in the world, we are social creatures and like dogs, we are pack animals, to not only thrive but simply survive we need other people, basic human contact and hugs, the comforting touch of another human is at this point, like winning a gold medal, imagine the serotonin release from hugging people when we all get out of this grim period of history.
For my birthday, Harriet (knowing my love of David Tennant) bought me half size cardboard cut out of The doctor himself and his purpose? To stand in my kitchen looking off into the distance to inspire me and to help manifest my very own lobster, yes, David Tennant is going to help me find my soulmate.
Now, let me explain further how the online dating landscape is currently. It does not matter which site you have joined, very few men are actually open to conversation, you need to know I am not a misandrist but without the promise of them getting some action and them actually having to hold conversations, most of them have just gone into hiding. For me though, dear reader, I blooming love it, it's like dating in the time of Jane Austen, no touching, long conversations and the lost art of letter writing, although that's more message writing and getting a sore finger from tap, tap, tapping on your phone keyboard.
People have said to me in the past that it will just happen when you least expect it, you cannot go looking for love but I don't think that's true, I left it up to chance and 6 years later, I'm still sitting in my cave like a hermit. I am not Hannah Hauxwell though, I am Mandy and although I'm not the biggest fan of people, I do love my friends, and I actually think I've always functioned at my best when I was happy and in love. I am a die-hard romantic, always have been, always will be, it's why I still cry when I photograph weddings. I don't think any amount of damage could stop me believing in true love, love is like oxygen after all.
So, will David Tennant help me find my soulmate? Well, who knows what will happen in the future but I feel like something magical could be just around the corner and I'm always hopeful. You can be sure if something does happen, I might not write about it all as that's a double-edged sword too but I guess eventually, I'd have an inability to not say something, I have, after all, written about my life for the last 16 years. So come on David Tennant, do your thing, stare into the distance and find me the love of my life, you have 12 months or you're going into the cupboard!!
Ways to support my writing
Sunday, February 07, 2021
The worst week in business and the miracle that saved me
It's early Sunday morning, it's snowing outside but not the good snow, not the abundant soft white flakes you can catch on your tongue. This is the small gritty stuff which lashes against your skin hurting it with its painfully cold stab of ice, this stuff rarely lies and is not at all the fun stuff we dream of.
If you follow me on social media you'll probably know that A) I was 47 (see photo for the resulting afternoon tea, a present from an anonymous lady who I thank dearly if they're reading this) on Monday and B) this was a week in business where I wanted to hide under a blanket in the corner and never come out. I had expected that retail would be quiet in January and I'm lucky really as it wasn't quite so bad and orders did come in but without my photography income to sustain me it became a massive juggle between paying bills and restocking the shop. The truth is if it comes down to it, would any of us choose to do a restock when we can't be sure we can pay for our next gas or electricity? And when you start having to deal with those kinds of financial conditions you end up in a vicious circle. You can't afford to restock which means the shop is empty and so no one can shop. With the best will in the world, you can spend a million on advertising but if there's no product to buy, you will just end up even more broke.
Starting a business of any kind isn't easy dear reader, if anyone tells you it is, they're lying! One lucky thing about photography is that the overheads are lower because I'm not selling a product, I have the equipment and I don't have a studio. Product-based businesses are expensive to start, especially if you're not making the product yourself. I was lucky when I started the boutique, the economy was opening up again and I used a bounceback loan to start the boutique rather than invest it into my photography business which might have sustained me for a few months but ultimately it would have run out eventually and I would have gotten to this lockdown with no other business or any form of support at all.
I do not, for one single second regret starting Philomena's Boutique, there are days when my last scrap of sanity was saved by being able to go up to my second-floor office and do some work, my mental health does not allow for sitting and doing nothing, I'm constantly thinking about my next move and I need things to distract me from the anxiety caused by the pandemic, the lockdown and daily life.
My first thought from the bottom of the dark chasm I found myself in was that I could sell, I had the boutique valued by 2 different companies both specialising in Shopify stores and was pleasantly surprised by how much it was already worth after just 8 months but if I sold, realistically, I'd be back to sitting doing nothing and just watching my income stagnate for goodness knows how long. Now it's a very weird position to be in where you have 36p in your bank account, but you know your business is worth a lot of money, and with my credit score, especially after the financial instability caused by Covid, it was unlikely that I would be able or even capable of paying back any kind of loan. It was just not a feasible idea.
Thursday came and I burst into tears in my hall upon receiving a letter addressed to "Princess Mandy Charlton" followed shortly after by a collage made for me by Alice, age 9, one of my clients and previous student of my photography classes which I ran during the first lockdown (remember that one, the sunny one). I'd checked my bank and knew by next week I'd have no money (after having no sales all week) and my gas and electric would be cut off (I have a smart meter which I top up because I was always afraid of big winter bills) and I'd not be able to pay my rent (again, again, again...). I did know I have friends who wouldn't let me be without gas, electric or even food but I'm a proud independent warrior woman, I'm full of hope and even at my deepest, darkest moment, I kept repeating "everything will be okay". I said my affirmations every single day feeling like a fraud as I laughably told the universe I was welcoming more income into my life and that I was abundant and everything was okay, better than okay...
And then a miracle happened, I had a message through my website to apply for Shopify Capital, now let me say, Shopify Capital is a bit mysterious, you can't apply for it, they just contact you when you reach some kind of threshold, no one really knows what that is and even if you are invited to apply, there's still no guarantee you'll be accepted. So, for anyone who doesn't know what it is, basically, they lend you a sum and then they take back a percentage of your daily sales so that on the slow days you don't have to pay anything if you haven't made anything. I received 3 offers and chose the one I thought would help and in less than 24 hours I was accepted and it hit my bank so I could restock the boutique. This funding stream has almost certainly saved my business as well as securing my future and once you're in their program they will keep helping you to build so you can be as big as you dream.
My dream is that one day, I'll have a little shop with a flat above it, it will be on a cobbled path leading down to the beach and I'll also maintain my heavy web presence and keep nurturing the wonderful community who have continued to support me since the very first day I opened Philomena's Boutique. When lockdown ends and people start booking weddings and photoshoots, all of the income from that will be funnelled into the boutique so that one day I can retire happily from a long and wonderful career in photography. I want to buy a caravan next to the sea that I can rent out to families at a reasonable cost so that when things get too much they can escape for a weekend by the sea and forget about their worries, just for a while. That was my dream for Inspire when I was there but I really feel I have the chance of achieving it now. Oh, and yeah, I'll probably be in debt now until I'm 475, don't think that everything is rosy because I could scare you in 15 minutes with the financial mess covid has caused, you can't lose almost an entire years income without it having an effect on your life.
Ways to support my writing
Thursday, February 04, 2021
The thoughts of a woman who craves to travel
It's Wednesday night, it's perpetually thrown it down with an icy rain since Monday night and it's been the blandest day of February I can ever remember. I'm watching the first episode of Joanna Lumley's Home Sweet Home and within about 5 minutes that familiar itchy feet feeling has returned, I crave to travel and right now, I crave to travel anywhere that's more than a few miles from my front door.
I've written before, dear reader, that I came to travelling quite late in life, well at least overseas travel, where the UK is concerned I have traversed as far and wide as I could as often as I could. We live in this magnificent country, steeped in history with the most beautiful views at every turn. There are very few of us who have to travel more than a few miles to find something historic or beautiful or both. It might be an amazing part of a city or an incredibly beautiful scene in a rural location, the UK is simply amazing.
Last year when we were safe to travel I spent 2 weeks walking in the Lake District and then later on at the end of the summer I spent 10 days in the Scottish Highlands, both trips were completely on my own and unlike when I'm stuck at home alone, I was not lonely, even for one minute because travel was all of the company I needed.
On my trip to the Highlands, I learnt the joy of taking an organised trip which meant that I got to experience even more than I could ever have dreamt of and because of travel restrictions, no trips were busy and I never had to sit next to anyone I didn't know (hurrah).
I think this year I shall take more coach trips and I don't even care if they're filled with others who are much older than me. I don't drive and I like to drink in the views when I travel so a slow bus with not too many other people is now my idea of a dream, well in this country. I'd go for a cruise right now but I reckon it might be a while yet before they're safe to go on. The only thing I think I miss when I travel alone is a companion to have dinner and drinks in the evenings with, it's not that I am scared to have dinner on my own but having a gin alone isn't quite so much fun as having drinks with someone you love whether that be a friend or family or a life partner (and I'm on a mission this year to find myself one of those).
I will never regret the travel I did last year because if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have had the memories and the photos I can console myself with on these long lockdown days alone. I've often said how I don't buy souvenirs on trips (other than the occasional fridge magnet) but I do take a lot of photos and for me, that's what it's about, I travel as light as I can, I find the best views and I look at old photos on the down days, the dark days, the days when you feel you can't go on. There have been too many of them during this lockdown but at least I am writing again, trying to find my groove and most of all, distracting myself with memories of past trips whilst also thinking about where I'll go first when this last (hopefully) lockdown is finally over.
I have 2 vouchers, both for 2 nights accommodation and I haven't decided whether to use them all in Scotland (because it fills my heart and soul) or whether to be daring and head for Cornwall, one of the few places that I've never experienced, Belfast and Northern Ireland are also on my list for this year, I must take my own photo of the Dark Hedges in County Antrim, one of the amazing Game of Thrones locations.
In this long, dark, arduous, lonely lockdown when very little makes sense and my photography career is like some kind of weird dream, I think travel and the inspiration it provides is one of the few things keeping me going right now. I don't wish to get too maudlin but I have days lately where my first thought upon waking is when can I go back to bed? The days are endless and being trapped inside your own thoughts without any other humans for days, well it almost feels like a punishment. To be honest, at the moment I have no idea how I'm ever going to pay for travel again but I also hope that once lockdown lifts that people will start planning weddings again, they will come out into the sunshine and want big family portrait sessions and with that money I will invest a lot of it into my gift boutique but the rest, well if there's anything else, I shall save it for as much travel as I can possibly cram in.
I've reached a part in my life where I really only have my cats to answer to, Abigail and Looby both live their own magnificent independent lives, Looby would prefer to be with the horses and Abi, though we do love to travel together, she also has her own life. I used to believe I could only travel if it was with one of them, that it was selfish to travel on my own but really, it was selfish to expect them to travel with me and enjoy the same things that I do. I hope in the future we'll travel sometimes together but I'll never make anyone have fun or adventures against their own will.
Ways to support my writing
Sunday, January 31, 2021
Some thoughts on my 47th year, my personal history of Coronavirus
When I was 16 I felt 35, I've always felt 35 and now I'm coming to the end of my 47th year on this earth and I still feel 35, I wonder if I will always feel 35, even when I am 65? The truth is, my 47th year is one that on the face of it, I'd rather forget and this is my personal history of Coronavirus and how it affected me.
This time last year, I threw a party for my friends, you know I usually have an annual Christmas party, well last year for some reason I decided to also throw myself a birthday party. I love parties where I can feed people, give them drinks, where we can all be together dancing in the kitchen. We even went to Rise, it was, I think my first time in a nightclub for years. We had the best night, 15 people in my kitchen all singing "Let It Go" at the top of our voices. It's strange that it seems like a lifetime ago right now. yes, Covid was a thing but we were only just hearing about it on the news, and actually, on the 31st of January the first 2 cases were recorded in the UK, people travelling to York who would later be taken to the RVI in Newcastle. It was still another 7 weeks before lockdown would begin on the 23rd of March.
I've become a bit of a hermit in the last few years, I have a small circle of friends who I adore and I work really hard, travel as often as possible and it doesn't leave a lot of time for anything else, although I've had occasional pangs of loneliness I'd only really decided last year that I might start to look for someone to share my life with, I'd even started going to the pub more regularly and would occasionally spot someone I liked over the bar. By the end of February, I was back to shooting weddings, Stacey and I shot our first small wedding of the year up at the South Causey Inn, it was horrible weather, freezing cold, rainy and we didn't get outside to do portraits but it was a beautiful wedding, the buffet was immense and 50 or so people on the dance floor throwing shapes not suspecting what was just around the corner although, that was late February and there had been some talk of social distancing. We really didn't quite understand what that would involve and Boris was still shaking hands with coronavirus patients claiming we'd all be fine.
March happened and I shot a few pre-wedding shoots for my upcoming 2020 weddings, we had just started sort of social distancing and I remember saying to clients on the 7/8th March how sad I was that I couldn't hug them, March 8 turned out to be the last time I shot a portrait session until July 24th, partly because of the lockdown but then, of course, I broke my arm. At a time when we were supposed to not use the NHS, I managed to break my right radius bone completely in half and had to have a plate fitted. Badly timed too because at the same time I'd decided to start my own gift boutique, Philomena's Boutique, yes, that was me bouncing back with the help of a government loan. My plan was to invest what I made from photography now that the country was starting to open up again and my little boutique would grow and thrive into something wonderful whilst making people happy with lovely gifts and things for their homes.
I'm pleased to say that Philomena's Boutique has thrived and I reached order number 1000 just before Christmas thanks to the love and support of an entire community, it's not been easy but I've found the joy in the most wonderful of small businesses. Photography did sort of restart in September and in total, I shot 5 weddings and 50 portrait sessions, in a normal year I'd shoot over 300 portrait sessions and 20-25 weddings. I rescheduled something like 23 weddings in total last year and you know, when that happens, your life falls apart a bit, weddings have always been the constant in my life for the last 14 years, the only things to never get rescheduled and only in exceptional circumstances cancelled. I thought it would be okay but now as we get to 4th and 5th times for rescheduling I am starting to lose hope of ever being financially stable again.
I worked so very hard to become financially independent, it cost me so much emotionally, to be in the mess I'm in now, well it's heartbreaking really.
In July August and September, I also managed to travel, assuming that things we're never going to get bad again, I spent some time in the Lake District emotionally healing myself and I spent nearly 2 weeks travelling the Scottish Highlands visiting places I'd always wanted to go and completing life long ambitions. When Abigail told me that she was taking me to Gdansk in September before she went to Uni, it was the highlight of my year, we flew without issue feeling safe and noted that Poland really did seem to be recovering more quickly than the UK. I couldn't imagine another lockdown happening ever again.
In September and October I shot portraits, I did a rescue weekend in October to try to make it to the end of the year with all of my weddings rescheduling again as the numbers of guests were cut from 30 to 15, I did shoot my last wedding this year in October and I will say, the weddings I shot in 2020 were so full of joy that I cried after every single one that just for a while, life had seemed normal and I'd fulfilled my purpose. Whatever other business I run, I will always, be a photographer in my heart.
In October half term we knew something was coming, Looby and I went to Durham to see Abigail, I later went back the very next week, the day before we went into lockdown 2. I sold gift certificates and my shop was thriving with Christmas orders and I was building up to having Abigail at home for Christmas so my mood was pretty joyful considering, plus of course the fact that Christmas is my favourite thing of all!
Christmas was spectacular and everything I wanted, just me, Abigail and Looby, I didn't need anything or anyone else, to me it was perfect and whilst people were struggling with not being able to see their whole families, I had everyone I needed with me. It's taken me so long to have a good relationship with my beautiful children but I am so very grateful.
I knew January would hit me hard after having Abigail home for a month but what I didn't expect was that the day she went back to Uni, that evening we would be put into lockdown 3, the hardest lockdown of all.
This last month has been dark, gloomy and without hope, I have no money left, I can't pay my bills and couples are rescheduling to 2022, I can't plan for Mother's Day or Easter photoshoots because we have no idea when we will come out of lockdown again. Abigail is trapped at Uni not allowed to come home, Looby is at her father's and is only able to come over on Sunday's because of her school/horse schedule and so I have spent mostly every day of January completely alone. Sometimes when I'm lucky I get to see one or two people a week but for someone who thought I was a hermit, I've learnt now just how much I need people. So much so that I'm giving myself a year to meet someone and I don't know how but I plan to put some effort into it because I just can't spend the rest of my life alone.
Tomorrow, I will be 47 and we still have no idea when lockdown will end, Abigail will be home for Easter in Mid-March and I can tell you I am holding onto that one hope that I have. I still have few ideas about how to financially survive but I am stocking the boutique when I can even if it's a much smaller range until some kind of help comes. The way I see it, the government who sold us bounceback loans as the answer must not help us further because we are so very far from bouncing back and I will be lucky to be debt-free anytime in the next 10 years. We have so many vaccines now, I keep holding onto that and thinking, surely, by summer, most of us will be vaccinated, they have to let us go back to some kind of normal life, don't they? I keep thinking, this is my lowest ebb and therefore it means I will, myself bounceback. Each day we are one day nearer to spring, 3 minutes closer to the lightest part of the year and hopefully, just hopefully, one step further towards a normal life again.
Ways to support my writing
Wednesday, January 27, 2021
How to get the most out of your lockdown walks
It's Wednesday (I think), it's dull, damp and dark and I'm here to tell you how to get the most out of your lockdown walks. "Now hang on Mandy, we don't want to go for a walk, we have no energy" I hear you say and really, I get it, I am not even contemplating getting out of my pyjamas today but most days when the light is a little brighter (and even some days when it's not) I try to walk around 5 miles a day for my daily exercise. Of course, there was also that time when I walked to the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel and did 12 miles but that was extreme even for me.
Look up Some History
I'm incredibly interested in local history (some would say obsessed) when I go somewhere I want to know all about the local views, interesting buildings I should see and I'll often google things like "prettiest streets in..." Now, I think it's probably more of a challenge in your local area as you've probably walked around it hundreds of times by now, especially during lockdown 1 when the weather was better but you might just come across something you've never seen before. Over these last few weeks I have, myself, been walking all around Newcastle city centre and have found all kinds of things I've never seen despite living in Heaton for the last 24 years of my life.
Newcastle is a city first established in medieval times and there are parts which still exist from then such as the town walls, if you want to read more about their fascinating history and then visit the remaining parts, Co-Curate is a wonderful site for the local history of the northeast of England.
Find Interesting Landmarks
Use Published Walking Routes
Think like a Tourist
Ways to support my writing
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
A 12 mile walk to the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel
It's just after 10pm on a dark, gloomy Tuesday evening and I've walked 12 miles today, a round trip to the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel without stopping. It's the furthest I've ever walked in one go and everything from the waist down hurts, many bits above the waist hurt too but I'm feeling like I just scaled Everest. If someone had said to me, "do you fancy a 12-mile walk today?" I would have said "erm, no, why?" but I'd said to my friend Steph "oh let's walk to the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel, it's only about four miles away, I didn't think that sounded like much...
So, dear reader, just to write this in case you're some years into the future, currently, we're allowed to leave our home for 1 type of exercise a day and we can go with a friend as long as it's only 1 person from another household maximum. I could count on 1 hand the number of people I've seen since Christmas and walking has become something of a must for my sanity. If I can get someone to accompany me on walks then even better as it definitely would have hurt more if I'd tried to do it alone.
On the way from Heaton going towards the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel we took the Shields Road route which took around 1 hour 30, the way back via Hadrian's Cycleway was definitely a longer route but that's the one I'd go with on a better weather type of day as it's probably lovely in summer. Not so much today in the driving rain.
I like to choose big challenges for myself and I'm always curious about our local history so I'd wanted to go to the Pedestrian Tyne Tunnel since it reopened in 2019, for anyone who doesn't know, it still has 2 of it's 4 original wooden escalators which were at one time the longest wooden escalators in the world. I didn't realise that the wooden escalators don't actually work so you have to either walk down them slowly (with a slight feeling of vertigo as it's so steep) or you can take a lift, we took the lifts on the way up and went down the escalators.
I am really glad I didn't do it on my own as I'd always thought it would feel quite creepy in the narrow tunnel under the tyne and it really does, it feels weirdly sinister. I can only imagine the history of all of the shipyard workers walking out of the tunnel after travelling from Jarrow and going down to Swans shipyard where Segedunum is now. I think it's a place to go with a friend and not on your own though it's perfectly safe. I don't know what it is, but there's definitely an unusual feeling down there.
Over the last week I've taken to walking every day, most days it's just 5 or 6 miles which never feels too bad but I think I felt every step of the last couple of miles today. I don't mind the aches though, I could never have thought that I was capable of walking so far without stopping. Had it been a sunny day and not illegal to have a picnic that would have been a great idea but the most we did was take water and chocolate along for emergency sugar need and really, it was so cold and wet today, I don't think I would have gotten through it without that little square of chocolate that I carried in my pocket.
To tell you how wet it was, I popped my coat in the hall cupboard when I got home and ten minutes later wondered why there was a puddle on the floor outside of the cupboard, for a moment I thought I had a leak from the hall radiator but no, that's just how wet my coat was.
I will always remember this big long walk I did quite unexpectedly on a rainy winter Tuesday and if anyone ever asks me "Do you fancy a 12-mile walk today?" and I shall reply "yes, yes I do" but only if it's not throwing it down in the middle of January and you're actually allowed to sit down for rests on the way.