I’ve been on MJ (you know the one—starts with Moun, ends in jaro, but we don’t say it too loudly online) since the end of October 2024. I started on the lowest dose—2.5mg—and today I’ve just moved up to 10mg. I’m not quite at my target yet, but I’m getting close.

And along the way, there are a few things I’ve learned—things no one really tells you, and things that might not happen to everyone, but they definitely happened to me.

So here they are. Unfiltered. Midlife. Neurodivergent. Real.

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1. The energy crash is real.

I have type 2 diabetes, and what I didn’t realise was just how much MJ would affect my energy levels. Around week 7, I felt like I was living on the sofa. Not in a romanticised “main character in a cottagecore film” way—more like I was permanently horizontal.

Each time I’ve increased my dose, I’ve had to go through a weird adjustment phase. My body kind of… forgets how to function for a bit. The energy I used to rely on just vanishes. But the good news? It does come back. Slowly. But you have to be gentle with yourself while you wait for the reboot. I'd also suggest taking a good targeted multivitamin like My Journey from Wellgard which was designed for people like you and me, together on this journey

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2. Food noise? Gone. Appetite? Also missing.

Everyone talks about MJ getting rid of “food noise”—and it does. But what they don’t mention is how confusing it is when your brain no longer knows what it wants. Not in a oh, I’m being good today way. In a staring at a menu for 40 minutes like you’ve never eaten before kind of way.

You won’t feel hungry in the way you used to. You’ll probably eat far less. And it will mess with your head a bit. I found it genuinely hard to figure out what to cook or order. That part takes some getting used to. You won’t feel like yourself—but not in a bad way. Just… different.

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3. It’s not just weight—it’s mental health, pain, and sleep.

This one surprised me the most. MJ hasn’t just helped me lose weight—it’s helped with my anxiety, my sleep, and even my fibromyalgia flares. I feel calmer. I sleep better. I’m functioning in ways I haven’t done for years.

It’s not a miracle drug, and I don’t believe in hype, but it has made me feel more like myself. A better version of myself. A version I actually like.

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But here’s what you really need to think about…

No one talks about the long-term. What happens when you hit your goal? Do you stay on it for life? What happens next?

I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll probably be on this for the next 50 years—and at £169 a month, that’s not nothing. So it’s important to plan. Know your reasons. Have a strategy. And for the love of serotonin, go with a good pharmacy.

I use Cloud Pharmacy and they’ve been brilliant—helpful, quick, and not out here judging me when I email them in a panic. It’s not the cheapest option, but I trust them, and that counts for a lot.

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Would I do it all again?

Yes. 100%. Even knowing what I know now—the exhaustion, the food confusion, the cost—I’d still do it. Because this isn’t just about weight. This is about taking control of a life that didn’t feel like mine anymore.

My only advice? Get proper guidance, make sure your targets are realistic, and find a community. The MJ communities on social media have honestly kept me going—and that support makes all the difference.

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Soft life looks different for all of us. This is part of mine.

And if you’re starting this journey too, I see you. You’re not alone. You’re just… rebooting.

Why I'll never give up, no matter what life throws at me

This week has not been the best week with regards to my health, if ageing is the cause then I'd quite like a refund, please!  After several more conversations with doctors, my lovely longterm doctor thinks it's probably I have Fibromyalgia, basically, it's a pain syndrome, yes, I know, you're sitting there thinking, "oh that does not sound fun" and you would be right.  It's actually quite possible that I've had it for quite some time as I've had all of the symptoms but they've always been looked at in exclusion rather than as a whole and it's only now because of me going through agony with my neck, head and arms that we finally seem to be coming to the same agreement.  it's a genetic thing and my mother has it and I'll be honest, I think there's a good chance (or actually not good at all) that Iain and Abigail have it as they already have symptoms.

My next step is to see a specialist physiotherapist who'll test my pain points and then depending on the outcome they'll refer me to a rheumatologist and possibly the pain clinic because currently, the neck pain is off the scale and I can't currently find the £600 it would take to make it better with Chiropractic or massage which is what I've done in the past. I'm also thinking of visiting Auris Ear Care.

The point of this blog post isn't to whine or complain though, I mean, I rock a disorder and I'm amazing at syndromes, yes it's another hurdle to get over but you know what?  No one has ever died from Fibromyalgia or Bi-polar or indeed Reynauds (that's all my disorders and syndromes right there, although I think Reynauds may well be a phenomenon).

Yesterday I went to my very first TEDX at Newcastle College, the theme was life finds a way and pretty much it was about health, life, death and mental health, it was one of the most inspiring events I have ever been to and it's only reinforced my ambition to one day give a TED talk.

Death, cancer, mental illness and suicidal ideations, all things which are the end of some and you know what, that is to be completely forgiven.  I have had times in my life where I could have crawled into a corner and never come out or where I thought those dark thoughts and nearly ended everything but in every case, just as in mine, the decision to fight onward, to choose life and to accept the things you can't change, it's those things which were paramount in all of the speakers lives just as in mine.

You see, if you fight against something you can't change, you are just using energy pointlessly, it's the fighting for the things you can change and moving onwards despite the situations, finding some kind of inner strength that you're not sure where it came from, those are the things which inspire other people.  Not only that, those are the things that define you as a person for the rest of your life.

So here I am, some days, the pain is so bad, even the good drugs won't take it away, the searing, burning pain at the base of my neck and feeling like my shoulders are like a giant breeze block because everything is in spasm.  the migraines I wake up with every day, the tingling and pins and needles in my hands, the pains in the centre of my hands which made me question if I was about to experience stigmata...  but am I about to give up?  Hell no, I've come too far for that.  I do have 2 companies to run and I've had to make a few adjustments to my work calendar just until it settles down again, the good thing about flare-ups is that they are exactly that and so I should be back to tip-top form soon enough.

Yes, it's tough that I can only work 1 day at weekends currently but if I look for the positive in that, it's actually pretty lush doing photography one day at weekends and then on a Wednesday because I am absolutely loving what I'm doing, I have the best work-life balance I've ever had and every week I can't wait to get out there again with my camera.

It's funny how things happen I think, I did not know that when I started my garden that I would end up with a haven where I might not be able to do lots of heavy stuff but I can enjoy it, it's reached that point where it's lovely just to sit in and listen to the trickling water fountain and watch the birds as they come and grab some food from our all you can eat bird buffet.

There are so many things to enjoy in life, so many things to be positive about that I refuse to let another disorder, a syndrome or pain destroy the happiness I've worked so hard to find within myself.