If you've read my last post you'll know that Christmas wasn't everything I wanted it to be last year (feels so weird to be saying last year when it wasn't even 2 weeks ago), I found myself lonely and isolated, yearning for company and also for answers to fix myself and my life without actually leaving the house.  Yes, that's the conundrum, I'm not the biggest fan of leaving the house unless it's for work or with people which throws up all kinds of challenges.

I did however find some kind of weird solace in cleaning and organising my home and if you have been following me on Instagram you'll know exactly what I mean, if you don't, then suffice to say, my kitchen cupboards have never been more organised and my entire life seems to have gravitated towards living in baskets, not me, living in baskets, my general stuff, effluvia, my accoutrements!

Apparently as a nation we're currently all cleaning crazy thanks to Mrs Hinch and other such influencers, let me tell you though, I've never found watching cleaning quite so fascinating as I have since I started following Mrs Hinch on Instagram, the woman is a marvel and it's hardly surprising that she's accumulated over one and a half million followers in less than a year.  I don't know her complete history but I do know that like me, she has anxiety and she uses cleaning to alleviate it.  What's fascinating is I can see why she finds cleaning so effective, for years when I'm angry or upset is when I nest the most, there's something very soothing about organising when your life feels like it might be spiralling out of control.

I think for a long time there have been some things in my life which I need to address, in September this year I'll have been separated for 5 years which means I can finally go and get a no fuss divorce, I never wanted there to be acrimony or hatred and even though we don't speak to each other I still think of him highly and always will as he's the father of my daughters and they adore him.  I do though need to move on with my own life, not that I'm looking for anything or anyone in particular, in fact I think I've just settled on being happily single with Holly Bobbins at my side for the rest of my life, yes, I may well experience pangs of loneliness but all things considered, when I look at other people's relationships I think I'm definitely better off not in one!

I have some things I need to tackle, I've already made a huge decision to continue with my photography business but I think there need to be changes, the way we do business in general is changing, technology, the economy, Brexit (God help us all), social media. I think I need to re-examine how I do business and how I can adapt to what the market needs most right now.  I know photography makes me happy and I can't live without it, the gap in my life would be a huge chasm of emptiness and I really don't think that would be good for my future mental health.

I also of course have spent a long time examining myself as a person, I think I'm a good person and I want to try and do as much good as possible, but I also think I need to keep trying to be a better, more open, more loving and all around more giving person and if I can achieve that, I'll be happier and more fulfilled.

I also want to try and help other women win at business, I want to try and help as many as possible through my work with The Inspire Network, currently I'm struggling in knowing what the future holds there but I also think the way we do business and the way we network is so different to the way we used to when the network was set up.  We do need to make some kind of income from it, if only to pay for the monthly running costs so it's important to look at that and see what I can do.  There are ways to run businesses which make money but don't cost other people anything such as affiliate marketing and perhaps that's the future, I'm completely open to suggestions and feedback and will listen with an open mind and the utmost of respect to any and all ideas.  I just want to help the people who aren't succeeding and also push those who are even further because 1, you can do anything on your own terms and 2.  when women support women, magic happens.

Just Do It

Today I am here with a message for all of you entrepreneurs and aspiring creatives, the message is, as someone once used in a marketing campaign, Just do it!

It doesn't matter your ages, status, education, if you have a dream and you want to do something, go do it.  I'm not saying put yourself at risk or make stupid choices, actually really, there are no bad decisions if you look at everything as a learning curve and let's face it, life, life is a learning curve.

This week after having a Youtube account for 10 years I made my first Vlog, it was pretty bad but could have been much worse I imagine, the fact is that after 10 years of being in business I need to add more things to my portfolio, more income streams, more ways of earning a residual salary which keeps building.  My quest for the future is to be a digital nomad and I want to keep creating things for as long as I possibly can and there's no denying that if you look at the facts out there, video is the biggest emerging way that we as humans consume information.  Watching Youtube is like having your own microcosmic TV channel, you can watch shows about pretty much every subject in existence.  What I found, is there are a lot of guys out there who are photographers, there are a lot of men telling you about what's in their camera kit or delivering pieces to camera about the buttons of the latest camera but there are a lack of women of my age creating videos.

Over the last 10-15 years women have flooded the photography market changing the way portraits and weddings are shot forever, women not only possess immense technical abilities but we're genetically programmed to have empathy, it's not that men don't possess any empathy but in the battle of the sexes, where empathy is concerned, women will always win.

So that's what we do, we take our subject matter and we "add the feels" we can put ourselves in the position of the bride, we can talk to the smaller people like we would our own babies, we have the mother's instinct and I guess the brides too.  We brought a kind of softness to the industry and we added our technical abilities and wildly creative sides as well, I'm not saying we're better than men, we're just different.

So now, I want to do with video what I've done with photography, in 10 years I want to say I've achieved stuff, I want to succeed at Vlogging well and making moving stories of my own, I'm not saying I want to make movies or that I'm about to set up as Newcastle's next big videographer but I have stories to tell and I want to tell them my way.

I read a quote today which said "Just remember, no matter how huge the Youtuber is, they all started with 0 subscribers". That spoke to me, not just in the context of Youtube but I suppose in life too, you see, you have to start somewhere, no one won anything by just sitting back and letting life roll on whilst they took a passive role, no one made their first million by sitting on the couch, you have to go out there and follow your dreams, you have to just do it, do something, do anything, take some risks, what's the worst that can happen, if you fail you dust yourself off and you start again.  I've had so many moments in 10 years when I wanted to give up but I didn't, I pushed on inspire of my mental health or the breakdown of my marriage or being a single parent or having a breakdown.  Somewhere inside me I just found the strength to keep carrying on.

I have a long way to get from the place I am now to the place I want to be but I am not going to let it stop me, on Monday I had 29 subscribers, after publishing just 2 videos I have 40 subscribers and I have only had to lightly beg people!

So, wherever you are now my message to you is to keep pushing on, don't doubt yourself or second guess yourself, just believe in you, believe you can do this and go out there and just do it!

Become a small scale philanthropist and make life better today!

Every day I hear someone say that life is hard and I wonder who first said this, why did they say it? The truth is, I think that life is only as hard as you make it and I for one am as guilty of over complicating my life in so very many ways and once that train has left the station, well it just ends up spiralling.

Recently when I had my epiphany, walking with my dog in the Northumbrian countryside I made a vow that I would re-embrace my positivity, start throwing love at everything and one month on, I am happier, my life is more positive and my business is more prosperous than ever before, I am focusing only on happy things, and on helping people as much as I possibly can.

I always wanted and still do, to one day become a great philanthropist but you know even on a smaller level we can practice philanthropy, we can help people with the knowledge we've gained and we can use our talents to enhance the lives of others.

We can give charitably albeit in smaller ways and we can practice random acts of kindness.  With each and every aspect of small-scale philanthropy what you notice is just how much better life gets, I can't even begin to tell you how much happier and better my life is than it was a month ago.  One thing has also become blatantly apparent to me, I have stopped craving to find someone to love me, I am so busy fulfilling my own life and that of others that I have removed the neediness I was exhibiting.  Now whilst I can't promise that I won't suffer from the occasional pangs of abject loneliness I do think I have found the answer.  

I'm 43 now and I know that one day I'll meet someone and we'll have movie love but the universe will decide when that's right and that's all I need, I just need the belief and I also need the knowledge that I'm so happy on my own surrounded by friends and my darling teens that I don't have to desperately seek the company of someone who I might settle for and we all know what happens when you settle, that never ends well does it?

So if you are currently lost and feel alone, try to remember that you are loved by many, that you have friends and children who love you, try to focus on the good things in life, try to even focus on one good thing and with every positive thought you have you are stopping a negative thought from entering your head, we can't feel sorrow and happiness at the same time and for a good day, a positive day you only need to have 51% positivity.  You'll get there and you'll win and then we can all practice small-scale

philanthropy together because when we do good things, amazing things happen.

How I turned my life around in less than a month

February was such a hard month for me and by the end of it I'd slumped into a depression for the first time in ages, I wasn't earning money, no work was coming in and I wasn't even sure if I could afford to pay our basic bills, at one point my best friend even offered to buy us groceries to get us through the week, my life was just a quagmire.  Then my girls told me they'd had enough, they weren't happy and Looby went to granddads giving me two weeks to sort my life out, at the very darkest edge of my sanity I could have given up.  Life as a freelance photographer/writer had become increasingly difficult.  In photography at least it's such a saturated market, we're all suffering from the harsh economic environment and understandably it's the luxury items that go first and whilst I think photographs are so important, it seems food it mostly higher up on the list for most people!

Understandably after my girls were so annoyed with me I was deeply upset but they did have some valid points and I knew I had to get away and clear my head and luckily I had a ton of Airbnb credit so I went to Northumberland, just Holly and I, I didn't speak out loud for 3 days but I planned, I walked 10 miles a day and I started to earn money, I'll be honest, I had a couple of ideas, one of which I used my last £30 to advertise and it worked and from there, in the midst of the peace and quiet, I relearnt just how positive I was, usually I am a pretty happy and positive person who can make things happen just with the power of self-belief, positivity, a little asking of the universe (I'm a fierce believer in the laws of attraction) but somewhere along the way I'd just got lost and bogged down by winter, relationships, life, love, single parenting, I juggle a lot and to coin a phrase, I'd dropped my balls!!

Since I went away, I have worked so very hard, I've re-embraced my own values, I throw love at everything, I try to be the best person I can in life and business and I say thank you a lot, I am so grateful to have the talents I have and to live the life that I live, a life of freedom and happiness, somewhere along the line I stopped appreciating that, my jobs are jobs that other people just don't get to do.

You know, I made up my own jobs really, I just decided 10 years ago that they were the jobs I wanted to do, I wanted to be a writer and a photographer and so I became that and I'm still here, and I'm lucky to be successful, yes I might have made mistakes along the way, I might have stopped appreciating the world I live in but I know now, just how grateful I am for everything I have been able to create, sometimes on a wing and a prayer.

I'm going to tell you a story, when I first started my business I dreamt one day I would have an area in my house and I would have the best camera, an iMac to edit on and a lovely desk area to work from and you know what, today my business got a retina display iMac, I finally get to edit on a big screen, I have the best cameras for the job and I'm starting to catch up on our life commitments, it's not going to happen overnight but I have big plans for us and I know now how I'm going to achieve them, you see somewhere along the line I forgot that I can earn a pretty significant sum from working hard for just a few days a week, I didn't do it because I was tired and worn down with life I guess and you know what?  That's okay because my career is like love, sometimes you forget just what you have and then you get to see it with a brand new vision and then you fall in love with it all over again.

My life, work, career and I guess love, well it's all a work in progress but I know that one day I'm going to have it all and you know what else, when I do I'm going to make sure that I give back just as much as I get because I always remember that what I give out will ultimately come back to me tenfold.

So the next time when your life is in a slump, take a moment and then just get up and be positive, focus only on positivity and shove all of the bad thoughts out of your mind and you too will get to experience the truly magical power of living a positive life.

Just Throw Love At It

Several years ago when I took my vow of positivity to the universe, I learned the most valuable lesson, to just throw love at every situation, in life, in business, in friendships and of course in love.

Just lately when life has been tumultuous I've had to remind myself of this so many times, you see when things aren't going your way it's so easy to get angry with the world or irked with the people you should be showing love and kindness.  You know when you have a bad day, especially in business and you are cross and cranky and then someone sends a query or says something you disagree with, in that and every other situation the best thing is to throw love at it.

There have been times in the last 10 years when I've made mistakes and I've had to go to clients or friends and say, I did something wrong, I made a mistake, I'm sorry, what can I do to put this right? It really is okay to make mistakes because none of us is perfect but sometimes we can get angry or defensive and you know what, if you show that to someone else then you'll only get anger or sorrow back.  In every situation where I have made mistakes, I've always found a kind reaction to saying sorry.  I guess after my angry rant last night with Deliveroo, I'm hoping they'll do the same, incidentally, they've still not gotten back to me but I'm trying to be patient and accepting that it's the weekend and they do care.

I've also figured out that sometimes, I think I have it all and I rest on my laurels, something you should never do because you should never stop trying, in life and in business and heaven forbid in matters of the heart.  You should never believe you have it all and things will always stay that way because if you do, one day your complacency will be punished.

I know now that one day I will have it all but when that happens I will never stop being grateful, I'll never stop trying and I'll never become complacent.  When you are in your 40's you have the benefit of hindsight and life experience and I do know that when I finally find that special person that I'm looking for that my next relationship will be the one which lasts forever, until then I'm just going to keep throwing love at the world in life and in business because what you give out, you most definitely get back.

The Best Is Yet To Come

It's late, the lights are low and twinkling and I'm tucked up in bed thinking what a great day it's been today, It's been quite a long work day but a good work day, I've photographed a 5 day old adorable baby, I've blogged my heart out this morning and you dear readers gave me some great feedback, it's so amazing how you're all so happy for me, in truth that post was actually 2 draft posts and I sort of combined them as I'd been collecting my thoughts over the last few weeks about how I felt and then yesterday just kind of happened!

Telling Mr France how I was feeling meant I also had to break the news to Bob T-Builder that as lovely as our lunch was, I couldn't have dinner with him, ladies there's a very lovely property developer looking to find someone just north of Newcastle...

The real truth about Mr France is that he makes me laugh and smile, and even his presence in my life genuinely brings out the best in me.  Oh and if you're wondering just how he came to be Mr France, well it's all thanks to lovely Laura and the fact that he lives nearer to France than he does to Newcastle, handily enough, I adore the Cote d'Azure (not a euphemism).

I had more good news today from my colleagues over at Huffington Post UK, I'd wondered where my blog post I submitted last week had gone to, I of course, as ever, assumed the worst but tried not to be too downhearted thinking "Oh well, it was just my first attempt" only to receive an email asking me if I minded them holding it back so they could put it on the front page on Friday, I can't even believe just how lucky that is, my very first article on the front page of the Huffington Post, I'm going to have to add that to my Linkedin, my CV (whatever that is) and pretty much just stop random people on the street to tell them, I'm sure they won't mind!

I find myself surrounded by the most amazing people currently, I have the best friends who encourage me as much as I encourage them and in my whole life, I have never felt quite so confident in my abilities as I do now. I honestly do believe that next year is going to be something truly special, I've just spent so long healing at my own pace, I didn't rush into anything and for me dating someone far away is perfect, it means I can't rush into anything and it means I have the ability to be able to cherish any time we do actually get together whilst still getting on with my super busy life and career the rest of the time.  Oh, and you know what?  I just mentioned my career, yes I think I'm back on it, I haven't thought of myself as a leading successful business woman for a while, possibly not since I was married but a conversation tonight made me realise, you know what?  I'm not in this for the heck of it, my blog might be where I share my innermost thoughts and feelings but I want it to lead somewhere because I want to be able to write and photograph every single day for the rest of my life. I have big things I want to achieve and I believe that I'm only just at the start of my life or maybe it's the start of my second life, well I don't mind as long as long as I win this time and with the people in my life right now, there's just no doubt about it!

10 reasons to love February

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Last month I wrote my 10 reasons to love January list and I thought I would continue it as a monthly series, I can't believe it's February, for me it's the real start of the year, if I'm honest, nothing really happens in January, I'm too busy hiding away from the dark and cold and winter but February sees the return of light in the mornings and the evenings once again begin to stretch their light filled arms embracing us with just a tease of a cuddle that spring is somewhere waiting around the corner. Here's my 10 definitive reasons to love February...

1. If January is a month of beginnings the theme of February has to be about love, now it may not be that you are in a relationship but this doesn't have to mean that you don't have love in your life, in February it's great to remind yourself just how much you love and are loved, what form that takes and who it's with is entirely up to you but I for one have never felt as loved in my life as I have since I adopted Holly Bobbins, my crazy beagle companion never fails to give the best cuddles and as she nestles her head in my lap I know that she's telling me just how much she loves me.
2. Whilst we're on the theme of love why don't we all send a valentines card this year, just as gifting should always be about the giving and not the receiving why not send a card to a friend or child or even your pet telling them just how much you love them and how important they are to you. It doesn't have to be a full on declaration of love but it's always likely to make them smile.
3. If you are of course loved up and in a relationship don't forget that it's the 29th of February this year, this day in fable and legend means for one day only ladies everywhere get the choice to propose to their beaus and should they refuse (how very dare they?) they must buy them 4 dresses, now I'm not one for collecting dresses but it's a good excuse to update your wardrobe!
4. As we return to lighter days and nights it's a great opportunity to start welcoming in spring. My console table in my hallway gets more springlike every week as the seasons start to change and the availability of spring flowers becomes more readily available.  You don't have to spend excessive amounts on floral treats though, I find that even Lidl and Aldi have a great assortment of fresh flowers which change on a weekly basis, I've just taken out a subscription to Bloom and Wild, a monthly box of flowers I get to have a faff with, that alone makes me feel joyous.
5. Have you noticed that the shops are full of heart shapes?  Someone once told me that if they could put a name to my decorating style it would be love and it's true, I have hearts everywhere and little signs with cute quotes which make me happy so it's always a great excuse to pick up new heart shaped delights.
6. February weather on a good day can be sunny and lovely and it's great month to get outdoors, to feel some sunshine on your face, to go an extra mile or to walk somewhere you've never been before, go search for snowdrops or early daffodils, finding outdoor patches of loveliness is a great way to warm the soul.
7. Whilst there are days of spring and warmth and sunshine February is the month we are most likely to have snow days so if those magical snowflakes do start to fall get out there, build snowmen, drink hot chocolate and embrace the joy of winter whilst it lasts.
8. February I find is the last month for a while that I'll feel like burning candles, it's a funny thing but I've noticed I rarely burn candles between March - September but during Autumn and Winter I adore the soft warm light and the heady scent of loveliness that you only get from a candle.
9. The light in February whilst still quite low has a lovely soft glow perfect for photography so what are you waiting for pull on those wooly jumpers and book yourself a family photo shoot, it's the quieter lull of my year so you might not have to wait 3 months for a weekend date, Indoor sessions are cosy and intimate, outdoor sessions lead to rosy cheeks and sunny smiles so to book your session just drop me an email and we'll set that up!
10. I don't know about you but February makes me want to get more organised, this week I've just treat myself to Spark Joy, An Illustrated Guide to the Japanese Art of Tidying and I'm hoping it's going to change my life, it's a really pretty hard backed book I know that and even holding it makes me feel better, it promises to revolutionise my life and that's not a bad thing!

Welcome to September

I woke up this morning to a myriad of photographs of cute little people all dressed in smart new uniforms tentatively heading to school, some returning to new year groups, some starting new schools and the smallest are starting school for the very first time, it's a momentous day for a lot of you and I can't help remembering past years with Iain, Abigail and Looby.  This year of course Looby goes to St Mary's although she doesn't start until a week on Thursday and at the moment she's off in the sunshine with Abigail and dad, oh sunshine how I crave thee!

September for me has always been the start of a new year after taking the summer off with the kids, I didn't do that of course this year as I've been busier than ever but there's still been time for fun, holidays, travel assignments and so this week is mostly about catching up so I am up to date, thankfully a lack of sleep last night means that I'm currently about 5 minutes into that state which we like to call "Up to Date"

I can't but help reflect on things in the past year but I don't want to dwell and I've already posted my reflective September one year on post but I was talking on Facebook about some stuff yesterday - 

1. I've only got 9 days left and then have to have a routine again, bohemian living is going to have to be much more restrained. (boo)
2. I've just bought the rest of Loobys uniform for St Marys (OUCH)
3. Iain is 19 on Sunday, nothing can make me feel older than that!
4. I've been a singleton for a year and I didn't even think I could manage a week.
5. Holly Bobbins is 15 months old, she's been with me for 10 months!!
6. In one whole year I've never stayed out past 1am or been to a nightclub though I was involved in accosting a celebrity after a comedy gig.
7. I need to get out more in a social way though I'm terrible, much like Hannah Hauxwell and mostly end up just staying in watching classic movies with Cary Grant or Audrey Hepburn and eating noodles with my dog.

8. My main goals in this year are to increase the amount of travel writing/photography assignments and to keep growing my family portrait business so that it continues to thrive

9. I want to take Looby away for lots of adventures this year, some with Holly Bobbins of course but I'd also like to take her to some European cities to experience different cultures and see amazing sights together.

10.  In this next year I'd love to meet new people, and I want to say yes to more things, seriously if you're out there reading this, send me your ideas and requests, after all that is said and done I seriously think it's got to be my time to shine now hasn't it?  I'm so done with the harrowing life experiences ;)

Maybe I just need to find someone who'll come and eat noodles with my dog and I whilst we watch classic beautiful movies starring Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant?

One thing I've learnt from all that has been and gone is to never get complacent, never make too many plans for you just never know what's around the corner (good and bad), I've never really been a planner, I'm absurdly spontaneous (and very sparkly) which I guess can make me a great friend but also impossible to pin down and deal with at times.  I'm the kind of person who can get up in the morning and be in Inverness by the afternoon if the mood takes me, I'm an unstoppable force when I get something fixed in my mind, some call it madness, I call it creative spontaneity with a little added sparkle and it's something I will never ever apologise for again.

Be brave, be bold, reach for the stars and explode like a giant flower bloom into a glorious and memorable September.

Life is always beautiful, you just have to see the moments

There's something quite magical about warm spring days that fool you into believing that summer has come early, I've just sat down after a busy day working on wedding albums, walking Holly, visiting the beach for a lovely photo shoot, having our first BBQ of the year and then some editing and catching up on emails.

Whilst I love the break in routines that school holidays provide I'm always quietly grateful for just a little time to myself to catch up on important business things which pay the bills!

It's been an adjustment in life since being on my own and then getting Holly (lovely, gorgeous and wonderful as she is) completely threw my routines out of the window.  I think though I'm getting back on track.  I've started to get dressed the moment I get up in the mornings and then I feel I am ready for the day, I sit down to start work at 7.30 with my morning coffee and everything is usually calm and quite quiet as Looby gets ready for school, Iain pops his head around the door on the way to go to college and Holly is usually lying on her favourite purple chair readying herself for the day ahead, it's only when we get to 10am that she'll quite often sit in front of me arooing until I get the hint and then I put my trainers on, her tail wags and I say the magic words "Walkies" and she sprints to the gate to see what adventures await us on our morning stroll.

I thought as I walked through the Ouseburn Park on this beautiful spring morning how lucky I am to have the freedom to live my life as I do, I may have had knocks along the way and don't get me wrong, there are many trying times when you're a single parent juggling business/life but I'll never stop being grateful that I get to be outdoors so much and feel the sunshine on my face rather than being stuck in an office under artificial daylight 8 hours a day.

When I went to the beach today it was a day of sunshine, a day for being besides the seaside, usually at Tynemouth in spring you get a bit of a chill in the air as you wander near the shore but today my favourite beach basked in warm glorious sunshine and light so bright I felt I hadn't seen it in an age.

I think there's a new joy in loving what you do or indeed recapturing the love for what you do, I find myself looking at life and business in whole new ways and after Saturdays wedding I was so sad to leave, I love being around people and feeling the joy that they share, there's never been a sad day at a photo shoot or wedding, there may be the odd frustration with a grumpy three year old but weddings at least are such a joyous occasion you can't fail to go home feeling a warm glow and often completely in love with the world once more.

When I left Saturdays wedding at Newton Hall I ran from the building to capture the last of the sunset, the golden hues had turned to blue and the mists were rolling in over the hills and fields and as I clicked my shutter one last time I said to myself to remember that life is always beautiful, you just have to see the moments.

New Beginnings...

I'm sitting here writing this, the sun has just disappeared in a glorious sunset and I can still see it's red tinges as the world in front of me experiences the blue hour, that's the hour just after sunset, golden before, blue after, remember that!!  It's been another glorious day and a day when I decided to make a new start, to make some big decisions about the future, to resolve to go back to some old things....

You see, I've always been a positive kind of person and well over the last few months I'd kind of got bogged down a little by spells of depression, loneliness, blah, blah, blah....

I walked to the Dunston Staithes today to catch up with a good friend I hadn't seen for probably 3 years and as I walked my 6 mile round trip I contemplated on my life and how I could make it better, not just for me but for my children too.

First step, regain control of my business, it's so easy to delegate and perhaps in some ways it is the future but for now I want to get to grips with my own business again, it's best way to give great customer service and I need to look at how I'm going to make things even better for future clients.

Second step, say yes to more business things, start taking on short weddings again, I'm not going to lie, I lost my confidence a while back and getting it back has been difficult but look, I shot the most amazing wedding last week and I loved every second of it and if that means I can shoot weddings like this all of the time then awesome.

The wedding of Gemma and Sean at As You Like It, Jesmond

So if you are planning your wedding in 2015/16/17 and you would like to book a wedding photographer in newcastle  for a smaller wedding package, i.e up to 4 hours then please do get in touch 

I've also decided to just only say positive things and think positive thoughts, it always worked so well for me in the past and I'm not going to beat myself up because I know that yes, it's been a difficult period in my life but above all I still believe the most important things in life are love and happiness and love comes in so many different forms, I want to truly love the world and all of the people in my world and I want to celebrate the love that many families feel though the photography that I love, I'm rambling but to use the words of Ewan Mcgregor in Moulin Rouge "Above all else I believe in love, love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love" or something like that anyway!

This weeks sessions in Jesmond Dene and Tynemouth have all turned out to be fabulous wonderful things, here's some previews.  If you would like to book a session this week in Jesmond Dene or Tynemouth we have availability so contact me now!

I'm not sure how long the positivity takes to have an effect but if tonight is anything to go by I have spoken to one of my lovely brides, I have been to Slimming World and lost another 2.5lb and I have come home and made epic burgers, it's all a starting point and I plan to embrace every second of every day from now on.

The 3 most important questions you'll ever ask...

I'm working on a new business plan at the moment and so dear reader I find that I'm asking these questions of myself and when someone comes to me for help or advice I find they're the questions I firstly ask of them - 

1. Where are you now?
2. Where do you want to be?
3. How are you going to achieve that?

They're not particularly long questions just short, sharp and to the point and if you can answer them all fully then you're on your way to achieving your goals!

Of course it's not quite that easy is it?  I found that I could answer question 1 fairly well and I could answer question 2 fairly well but it's question 3 that's the hard part I guess.

Question 3 can take months and years to work out, it's certainly not straightforward but if you can come up with some kind of answers and plan then you're at least half way there.

So go get your paper and your pens, pencils, Technicoloured paints and just ask yourself those 3 simple questions, see if you can come up with answers to 1 and 2 at least and then we can all work together on answer number 3.

You can apply these questions to any situation big or small, business or personal and this is about getting stuff done, finding the stuff you need to achieve your goals.

Think of it like this example - 

1. In the house with no food

2. Having a delicious dinner

3. There are multiple ways to achieve what you want, you could go to the supermarket, buy ingredients, go home and cook, you could call a takeaway or you could go out to dinner, they're all going to get you to your goal just in slightly different ways.

So now we've applied those 3 things to the simplest of situations think about how you could use them in different parts of your life or business.

So that's your big question for over the weekend, I won't answer the three big questions I'm asking myself at the moment because it's going to detract from you and your questions and I don't want to influence anyone but I'll share them later I promise.

If you want to share something with me privately please do get in touch via email mandy@mandycharltonphotography.com and if you don't mind other people reading them please do leave a comment or join in the conversation on Facebook.

10 Ways To Take Control of Your Own Life Right Now!

Hey you!, yes you dear reader, I am talking directly to you today, you see, there's something I've learned to reach this point in my life on our small planet we call earth and here's what it is;

1. Take control of your own life right now!  It's not going to make things instantly better and you will still cry and be sad, you will still have days where you want to hide under your duvet in the corner of your room (it's not just me who does that is it?) but you will be in control of your own destiny and that in itself is a powerful and positive step which no one can take away from you.
2. Ask questions of yourself and others but be prepared for people to tell the truth, this is a step which can actually be the most difficult thing because you might get answers you don't want to hear but even if you do, you chose to ask the question, have the opinion and no one can ever take away the feelings you have inside and you must remember this, never derivate away from it or make compromises for how you feel in your heart and even more so you should never apologise for feeling the way that you do.
3. The unfortunate circumstance is you can't expect people to feel differently to the way that they do and so you're going to have to deal with that yourself because remember that whatever you do you are only able to change yourself, no matter what you do or how you feel you really can't change someone else, they have to do that themselves and if they promise you that they will change you should always take that with a pinch of salt because you then have to ask yourself if that person is saying it to make you feel better or are they compromising their beliefs and opinions to soften the blow?
4. Sometimes even if you can learn from past mistakes there are things in life which are so big that you will never understand that the best course of action is to just draw a line under it, start afresh and never speak of it again.
5. Try to only thing of good things and see the positives in other people, it's a lot easier than being suspicious or making assumptions.
6. Be Open to everything, now I'm not suggesting that you should accept an invitation to cliff jump next weekend but try to say yes more often, especially if it's to a new experience because it might just be the most fun thing you have ever done.
7. Forgive yourself, yes we all make mistakes, some of them are minor, some of them are huge massive cataclysmic mistakes but other people won't forgive you until you can first forgive yourself.
8. Get out more!  I can honestly say that this January my seasonally affective disorder has been a bit rubbish but nowhere near as bad as it's been for years and that's thanks to Holly and our daily adventures, even if we only manage an hour in the park it helps with my social interactions, my soaking up of sunshine and my general happiness over all.
9. Have more experiences and less things yep, I wrote about that one already.
10. Love and hug more, yes I know that we're all terribly British (unless you are reading this from somewhere more exotic) and known for our stiff upper lips but why shouldn't we hug our friends and tell them we love them, I'm not saying we should become false and tell everyone "Oh I love you sweetie" but if you love your friends then it's ok to say I love you, you might even make their day.

Now I could have added in another one about having a pet to cuddle (get a beagle) but I know that's not possible for everyone, I do think having a pet is a great idea if it's possible to have one in your life, pets give far more than they ask for and I think somewhat that could be even more true in the case of rescue pets.

So lets read through the list, follow steps 1-10 and then march forth in the knowledge that we are in control, we are bright and shiny beings and the world is ours!

5 Life lessons I've learnt from my dog

I've thought for a long time how much easier life would be if we were like dogs, we go out, we sniff each other and then we're life long friends forever, sounds like a good plan to me!

Seriously though, there are some things which I've really learnt from my dog which can hopefully help me to be a better person and hopefully you too, we could all learn something from the furry ones we spend our lives with, not the cat creatures though, they just show the perfect model of ambivalence to everything although they do like to sit on the bed when you're poorly which is nice!

1. Be excited to see each other, I've never known anything like it when I have been away from home for an hour and she makes me feel like I haven't seen her in a year because she's just so happy and excited to see me again, I'm not suggesting that we all jump up and lick our friends when we see them but be so delighted that you make them feel really wanted.
2. Cuddle often, sometimes Holly will jump up and cuddle me and then she hops down and gets on with her own thing (usually eating the floor tiles or any wood she can get her beagle teething gums onto) but she comes to cuddle me often just to remind me that she loves me.
3. Forgiveness, I think dogs never bear grudges and I try to be forgiving but lets face it we can all get a little lost along the way so on January 1st I made my pledge to the universe that I forgave everyone who had every wronged me and my shoulders fell and relaxed instantly, I also forgave myself.
4. Be lovely to everyone!  Holly greets the world with love, pretty much every where she goes she wants to say hello to fellow dogs and humans and isn't that how we all should be?  We should have a cheery word or just a smile even when we are passing people on the street, after all a smile costs nothing!
5. Greet each new day with a smile!  Holly likes 8-10 hours of sleep a night, much like me really but when she wakes up at around 8.30/9am she hops on to my bed to say "Good Mowning, I love you mummee" she's a happy little thing and she greets the day with the expectation that each day is going to be the best day ever.

I'm sure there are other things we can learn from our canine friends and please do get in touch if you've been struck from any more life lessons, I mean after all, even o2 have been telling us to "Be more dog" for a while now!

Overthinking, Stormy Mondays and Finding Hidden Talents

You know those days dear reader where absolutely nothing of any consequence occurs, you're ill in bed and there's literally nothing to do but think, think a little more and then completely over think a situation so much that you end up putting yourself into the centre of your emotional turmoil, the one you just created in your own head by overthinking.

I suppose it's the curse of cold and flu, while the germs infiltrate your body they also have a profound effect on the mood of even the happiest most positive person.  I don't like Mondays at the best of times so Mondays ill in bed are never going to be a recipe for success.

So here we are on Tuesday, I'm just about getting there, chest is doing an impression of wheezy the penguin but I'm up, I'm dressed and thanks to the miracle that is paracetamol my temperature is on the high side of normal again, I'm even back outdoors doing photography in Jesmond Dene again later today and thank goodness, I think I need a sharp injection of vitamin D to flood my veins and shine upon my heart.

There were always going to be lighter days and darker days, sunshiny moments and grim stormy seconds on this new journey through life, I think I just wish I could predict when they would occur so that I could cancel those parts of my diary, crawl into a small cupboard and stay there until they pass.

The rest of this week is a bright and wonderful diary containing lots and lots of photography, by Sunday I will have shot 14 sessions and I might be a bit tired but I'll be happy, working hard has always kept me happy and content, I love photography, I love photographing moments in peoples lives and I love the emails I get with happy reactions to seeing their wedding or their children, I love it when I can delight people with a talent I may have found later in life but I found it and honed it non the less and every day I am thankful that I got to do something with my life which I truly adore.

And so today dear reader, go look inside your own soul, do you have a talent that no one knows about, is there something you could do with your life which makes you happy and fulfilled, is there some other possible path you could take which would mean you wake up in the mornings excited about your work for the day.  We, each and every one of us is unique and inside us I believe we all have something special that we can excel at that no one else can, you just have to find it, take a chance and then launch it on the world, it's the path to true happiness!

On friendship and being grateful

Good morning dear reader, another Monday heralds the start of a new week and you find me still very much under the covers and this is pretty much where I plan to stay today because I am ill/poorly/sick.

The germies have absolutely infiltrated  and I have my first cold of the year which during the night was kind enough to graduate to my chest and stop me from breathing properly.  It's not the best way to start the week but at least I have an Iain who is going to pick up Looby from school later and Abigail will get the bus home, small mercies having older children, Petunia is staying at her dads until tomorrow as she's off to visit her pack today, she goes every couple of weeks to see all the other lovely huskies and she loves it.

I think given my current state I might just hold off on conquering any small countries for the foreseeable but I am pleased to report that I did get through Loobys birthday luncheon before the germs really took a hold thank goodness.

Looby had a great luncheon joined by Abigail, her daddy and 4 of her very best friends, all who are utterly lovely girls, they're also all moving on to the same secondary school together which is lovely as when Abigail transferred there was only 2 other pupils from the same school who went with her.

It makes me realise just how important friendship is, even from a very early age our friendships help to define us as people, they become the people we laugh with, we cry with, people we turn to in times when we're not strong enough to face things alone and we in turn do the same for others.  It's taken me many years to have a solid, small, sturdy group of friends who I can share my life with and over the past few weeks I have really come to understand how much I'm loved by that group of special people as much as how much I love that group of brothers and sisters who have become an intrinsic part of my daily life.  Some of them I may not see very often, some of them I have known for years but only on line but that doesn't mean that they are any less special to me and if you're one of them who is reading this right now I want to say that I love you and I want to thank you for being in my life right now.x

I'm so proud of my beautiful daughters and my son too although the chances of you seeing a photo of him on here anytime soon is slim!  They really do amaze me with their wit, knowledge and strength of character, Abigail and Looby are like chalk and cheese for two people who have only 16 months between them you really can't get 2 people with more differences between them, it's lovely then when you see them hugging and telling each other that they love them.  Looby gives freely with hugs and love, Abigail not so much but occasionally she does tell me she loves me and hugs me back and that makes it all worth it, behind every hormonal angry teenager is a lovely young lady just waiting to get out!

So today think of me with my Lemsip cold and flu tablets, at least I have a comfy bed, warm blankies and a lovely environment to be poorly in (well apart from the 22 My Little Ponies and Lucy the scary welsh doll), some people are truly alone in this world without friends, family or a nice place to live, some don't have a place to live at all and so today lets all be grateful for the things we do have, go tell someone you love how much you truly care about them today, I promise you will make their day and it will make you smile inside your own heart too.

Growing Old Disgracefully

I always planned that I should get old disgracefully dear reader although the reality of the situation is that I'm slightly uptight, middle class and ageing by the day, last night I had dinner with a friend, did some stargazing, saw a shooting star and drank a bottle of wine, 1 whole bottle of wine when you're 40 is like 6 bottles of wine when you are 22!  I'll just say three words and those of you who are of a similar age will understand - Heartburn, Hangover, Hell!

I did mostly enjoy seeing the stars in the middle of nowhere though and I must make more attempts to A, buy yet another tripod without losing the bit that attaches to the camera (you wouldn't believe how many useless tripods I actually own) and B, get out and see the stars and take some photos of them, they really are quite splendid, especially if you go up into the borders to see them where there's no light pollution.

Today it's Loobys official birthday luncheon with 4 of her closest friends plus Abigail, Paul and myself, now I have to openly admit that I am not the best at squealing eleven year olds, especially when they belong to other people and they're in a group, it's that high pitched squeal only audible by mums, cats and woodland animals, I'm not sure if going into this with a mild hangover is the recommended approach, maybe I'll take ear muffs and no one will notice!

I am happy that my Petunia comes home again today, I have missed her furry face though I have to also point out that I have quite enjoyed being able to stay in bed past 6am in the morning, I could quite get used to blogging in bed with my mug of gingerbread coffee every day, you're probably wondering why I'm drinking gingerbread coffee, well to tell the truth I ran out of Tassimo disks and then I drank filter coffee and it made me a little too manic because I have an inability to brew anything but extra strength coffee and then all I could find in the cupboard was an unused jar of this gingerbread concoction which I probably had left over from last years Christmas Flavourly box, if you haven't heard of Flavourly it's a monthly foodie gourmet goodie box which contains all manner of tasty treats each month, I recommend it with 2 thumbs up and if you use that link you'll get a fiver off your first box!

And so it's that point of the morning where I must extract myself from the comfort of my quilt, take some painkillers and try to make myself look anything less than 312 for todays celebrations so dear reader go out there into the world and find something you can celebrate today even if it's just finding the nearest horse chestnut tree and foraging for conkers.

I used to be successful

My daughter Loobys 11th birthday portrait

Good morning dear reader and yes it's a slightly later time of the day for me and my blogging fingers but I slept remarkably well until 9am (you can tell the girls and Petunia are staying at their dads until tomorrow) and now I am back in bed with my Mac and a cup of gingerbread coffee (only 2 cals per cup).

I've been thinking about success and what it is over the last few days, I really do believe that at varying times in my business I have actually achieved that, I also feel however that I achieved it at a great price, that of my marriage.

I never do anything by halves, it's not in my personality type, I either have to launch myself into things 150% or not at all, I can't have a like for something, I either love it or hate it with very little in between.  It's just the type of person I am.  It's probably why when I met Paul we found ourselves married within 6 months.

I actually find it quite easy to work 7 days a week, 365 days a year and up to 17 hours a day if necessary, all I have to let it do is consume me and fill me with passion and it's enough to nourish me to the point where I can put everything else aside.

Just lately I have reduced my hours so that I only work 3 days a week, 5 hours a day and then 1 day at weekends although during the busy times I do have to work more at weekends because that's when people want to have photo shoots, it's not that much trouble to adjust my diary every now and again but if there's something I've learned over the past few weeks and months it's that you can't put business above family because if you don't have business you will find a way to survive but if you don't have family and love well you just become an empty shell, man cannot live by money alone but give a man love and he'll find a way to make life work for him because I believe when you have love you can do anything, you can change the world if you have to.  I do know something and that is love is everything, business and success is a contributor to happiness but it's not the whole world.

And so if anyone asks me now I'll tell them that for a while there I was successful, I'm sure I could have achieved great things but I'd rather just trundle along now and have a chance that love and family might nourish all of those parts that I used to fill with work and the general running of business.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the career I have and writing and photography are careers which can actually be kind to family life and easily adapt to whichever situation you are in but my days of photographing 300 sessions in a year are over and I am happy with that decision.  I plan to put 150% into loving the ones I cherish and cherishing the ones I love just as I wrote in my blog about making a life plan

So this weekend dear reader get out there and do the same, put down those keyboards and pens and go have fun with those you love whether they be your children, your partners or your pets, embrace them and love them for if they disappeared from your life you would notice a lot more than if that spreadsheet you''re working on for Monday went missing.

Settling into new routines

Enjoying walkies time with Petunia

I don't really think I've anything much to write about this morning dear reader but bear with me because I'll ramble a little anyway, life has been trundling onwards for a few weeks now and we've definite new routines which may not work for other people but we've kind of relaxed into them.  I've always hated mornings but now I find myself sitting here on the Settee blogging at 5 or 6am every morning, my dog loves early mornings and although I can't say I'm a huge fan I have kind of settled into them.

When we get to about 7.15 I'll shout for the girls to get up although Looby who is also a morning person is sometimes up, dressed and half way to being ready by then!

Paul comes for coffee every morning and we all sit/stand around the kitchen chatting about yesterday/the day to come or what's going on in various schedules and how we're going to manage that and then at 8.15 everyone leaves for the day and I make my 145th coffee of the day!

Yesterday Looby had an amazing day for her birthday and we all went out as a family last night for birthday fish and chips at Amble which was lovely.

This weekend I'm looking forward to a lie in tomorrow and Saturday when the girls and Petunia are staying with their dad, tomorrow I have a wedding in the afternoon and then I am going out with a friend and on Sunday I'm taking Looby, 4 friends and one of my very best friends in the whole world Li and her daughter all out for Loobys official birthday luncheon, oh yes we're very sophisticated now she's a young lady of 11, no soft play for her (thank goodness).

I've just noticed this morning that in the news they're talking about people signing pre-nups about pets, I just want to say this.... If you are grown ups you'll find it's just as easy to co-parent a dog as it is to co-parent your children.

You never know what's around the corner, some corners are a lot harder to see around or they just hide the path to the future more than others but all relationships with friendship at the base of them have a chance of survival because friendship is such a powerful bond.

I'd say this week for me has been a pretty good week, I've certainly taken on lots of new lovely work, I made my life plan, I've cuddled my children and my dog a lot and I've enjoyed the beginning of Autumn and embraced the future which as far as I can see is about turning negatives to positives and always remembering that no matter what happens you can never change the past, all you can do is reassess and move onwards using the knowledge of past events to guide you through the future.

So dear reader, go out there this weekend, kick those leaves or catch them as they tumble from the trees, take out your cameras and embrace the parks and nature that surrounds you and say a quiet thank you for all that is good to the universe and always remember that life doesn't have to be perfect to be lovely.

Making a Life Plan, 5 Steps To a Happier Life

Yesterday dear reader I was thinking about life and business and making plans for the future, I think we can never anticipate what's around the river bend, it takes great foresight to make any plans because often the path is so hidden but in business it's always good to make a 5 year plan and I reassess mine every once in a while and so I got to thinking, why didn't I make a 5 year life plan, why didn't I put my expectations for the future down on paper (or on Facebook in my case) and then I would have them there to remind me and I could reassess how I was doing.

And so here it is, I am pleased to present my new life plan to you all - 

1. To only do business with lovely people
2. To only be surrounded by lovely people
3. To try to be as lovely as I can each and every day
4. To cherish the people I love
5. To love the people I cherish

Goodbye to Rain cloud people, people with crazy expectations, drama queens, harsh people and generally miserable people.

Now obviously I have some stuff I have to deal with immediately to change that both professionally and personally, I'm as guilty as the next person of not having the vision to see the true colours of other people and everyone pretends to be nice when you meet them but toxic relationships in either personal or professional lives are so very harmful, I think sometimes that even if it's a little messy to rid yourself of these poisonous people in the short term when you look back in the longer term you'll find you are so much happier.

Whilst we cannot change other peoples behaviours I do believe that if we change our own behaviour then peoples attitudes towards us both in business and leisure will have to change.  So today I would like to encourage you to be the master of your own destiny, write yourself a life plan, it doesn't have to be a 5 year plan it can be a 5 day plan, a 5 week plan or a year but the best thing to do is just have some guidelines of things you want to do or achieve or the place where you want to be literally, spiritually or emotionally and then do it!

I make mistakes, sometimes I screw things up for myself without even realising it until later but the key is not to beat yourself up about that, just get your life plan out and remind yourself of the things you need to do so that you can be happy and magnificent in the long term.

Good luck and go forth and have a wonderful Wednesday.