I had more Reiki today, for moments as I lay there I felt my body lift off the table, it was transcendental, it was spiritual and it was my moment, today I saw gold and I felt warm and afterwards my beautiful, gorgeous reiki practitioner Susan told me that she could see my face changing, she told me I was becoming more glowy, going back to the Goddess I used to be before all of the mess began, reconnecting with myself, the universe and God, the energies, the vibrations, those higher powers that we need to embrace to help to recreate and fulfil our goals on the earth.

I am at a crossroads, I know where I want to be and I know what I want, I have asked myself the three important questions I ask other entrepreneurs or people in need of guidance - 

1.  Where are you right now?

2.  Where do you want to be?

3.  What are you going to do to get there?

I'm struggling with the third answer, lots of things are beyond my control but there are certain aspects I know I can already plug into, focus on and with a little energy I might just make it through the first few steps.

Strangely for me and I know I'm usually so honest and open but I don't want to go into it all yet,  one thing I am fixed upon is that I want to work hard to make sure that I am not only continuing to write but that I am focused on wanting to write more and I want that writing to make me more of an income than it is currently, I want to couple it with sensational imagery, the kind I've learned to create magic with over the last 10 years but I need to take the direction of travel and lifestyle more seriously than I ever have before.  I will never give up being a family portrait photographer because it lives in my soul but it's also a very demanding career and I can't see me shooting 10 portrait sessions a day every weekend for the rest of my life, especially during the winter months when my Raynaud's Phenomena is at it's worst.  Shooting for extended periods in the snow, for example, can be utterly painful.

So I have a plan or the start of a plan, in the same way, you helped spread the word about my dating profile, how about this for an idea?  If you're reading my blog and you usually enjoy dipping in and out, you don't have to read every article, It's a cornucopia after all and some parts will always be more relevant than others but what if you told a friend about my blog?  Would it be possible that I could double my readership?  What if you told someone you thought would really get it?  Would they then go and tell someone else as well?  Joel A Barker says "When you drop any new idea into the pond of the world, you have to be aware that you will be creating a cascade of change"

So, you tell someone and I'll keep writing and in fact I'll write more, I'll write faster and harder and better than ever before as my gift back to you and the rest of the universe.

Thank you in advance lovely

internet friends, thank you!

Most Inspiring Business Parent 2016/World Mental Health Day

Tomorrow is the final of the Mum and Working Awards in London and because of various factors I'm unable to be there, Today is World Mental Health Day and I wanted to mark the occasion so then I thought about the two things together and remembered what I'd said to one of the judges who called and said "If you were announced as the winner right now, what would you say in your speech?"

Now I don't know if I even have a chance of winning Most Inspiring Business Parent 2016 but I hope you'll keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow anyway, If I do win, this award will be for every man, woman or child who's been affected by mental health at some point in their lives.   If I win, I'm going to use this award to go and speak to groups far and wide about the fact that it doesn't matter what your situation is, it doesn't matter what the challenges which you feel hem you in are, it does not matter how in control you currently feel you are, because, you can do anything you want as long as you do it on your own terms!

The best business leaders and advocates are the ones who have looked adversity in the face, felt the fear and done it anyway.

On the 22nd June 2007 as I sat with an advisor who helped me register my business I remember the feeling of excitement and terror of what lay ahead, I did not think I would still be in business six months later but with every inch of my body I wanted to fight against the people who defined me as "crazy, a write off, mental"  I have succeeded today because of the people I have around me, because of my own stubborn gutsy independent nature and because I have not let myself be defined by bipolar, you see being diagnosed as bipolar in 2003 was really the first step to recovery, when you know what you are dealing with you can't be scared by it anymore, it's no longer  an unknown symptom, from the moment I took medication and had a year of therapy my life started to turn around, I have not been really poorly in over 13 years.  Now I use self care, a tight knit support network of friends and a tiny dose of medication which keeps me on the level whilst still letting me experience all of the emotions of life.

To get where I am today has at times been a struggle and fight and for the most part, for all of my achievements and accolades I am still very much a starving bohemian artist who just seeks to live a life of truth, beauty, freedom and love.  There are have been casualties, I lost myself for a while, I lived a life of loving someone who didn't love me back in the same way and by the time I noticed it was too late to do anything about it.

But here I am today, stronger, better, wiser, every day I live a life I love, I'm not going to pretend it's all sunshine and lollipops but I have the most amazing teenagers who I'd give every inch of my life for, I am surrounded by the most wonderful awesome friends and for every new person I meet along the way in my new life, I embrace them, I invite them in, it is my purpose in life to make sure everyone knows their own unique worth, when was the last time you told someone just how awesome they are?

Mental health is something we don't like to talk about, it's hidden away, we're ashamed to seek help, we hide it from our friends and loved ones because we don't feel it's ok to say "you know what?  I'm anxious today, I don't know what to do".  We need to talk, we need people who are brave and bold and brilliant to go out there and say "It's ok, it's not the end, you can achieve anything you want, what help do you need right now?"

I have never hidden any of my history, my fight or my story because everything I am today is a product of the life I've lived, so go out there, be fabulous, achieve wonders and build brave new worlds, worlds where it's ok to not be perfect and ask "Can I have some help today?  I don't feel I can do this on my own".

Why Single Equals Successful For Me

I think in this life I've worked out that I can either be successful or I can have movie love and here's why, relationships get in the way of focus, or certainly my focus, you see I'm a passionate bohemian and I can only focus on one thing at a time so I either put my all into my work or into a relationship. Yes this was truly a problem when I was married and of course all relationships deserve 110% in the way of effort but if you look at those rare occurrences where couples achieve success and movie love what you mostly find is that one person is incredibly supportive whilst the other is building success and then the pay off is in later years when you get to enjoy the fruits of your labour.

I think it may just be my makeup in that to succeed I have to be single minded, wholly determined and totally focused and the rewards are absolutely worth it, not just for me but also for my children and don't get me wrong, no man (or woman) is an island and I'm lucky to have a group of friends who are super supportive and we all push each other to achieve successes.  There is a difference of course because you don't spend 24/7 with friends, I work about 12-17 hours some days but I still have time to go out and walk my dog, get some sunshine on my face and have dinner with friends but then because I'm single I get to go home, work for an hour or two in pyjamas and there's no one to disturb me, I love it, to me success is the healthiest drug alive.

I wonder though if it would have been different if I was single all my life and still childless, would I be more ready to sacrifice success.  I guess I'm lucky, I was married for 15 years and for 10 of them I had movie love.  I have 3 beautiful children that I adore (mostly when they're not being teenage screaming banshees as I mentioned the other day) and I have a thriving, growing business I can concentrate on (and don't forget Holly Bobbins) and grow as much as I want to, currently I have no need for anything other than the things I have and I'm happy, I go to bed and my sleep monitor asks me every day how stressed I've been during the day, it's been months since I was last stressed out during the day (random anxiety excepting).

I'm not ruling myself out of love in the future forever but I need to make sure my children and I are not just financially secure but that we can also do those extra things which make life complete, holidays, days off and time out are still essential in any successful business and although I do work a lot I also have no problem with taking time to shut the Macbook and leave my desk and get out there into life with my kids or friends or even on my own with Holly Bobbins.

The best thing of course is the kind of varied work I do now, the ability to combine business with pleasure, my travels and collaborations provide a new challenge with every day, I've managed to combine writing and photography which has lead to the most amazing experiences and I get to sometimes share those with my children and my friends and although Looby might complain that mammy makes everything into a photo shoot what she doesn't get is that if it wasn't for the blogging, the writing or the photography then mammy and Looby might not have been given the opportunity to be there in the first place!

Be The Success In Your Own Life

I don't know about you but just lately I feel there's been a change in the air, suddenly everything seems to be working for me, I feel happier, healthier, more confident and more successful than I've ever been before.

So many doors have opened for me in the last couple of months, maybe because at last I feel in total control of my own destiny and whilst I know that I've still a long way to get to where I want to be I also feel like I am making the right decisions to help me get there.

I've got some new projects I'm going to be working on over summer, teaching pupils to be the business ninja in their startups at School of Tech and helping women get their whole brand image in just one day with Business Who? To Business You!

Whilst at the heart of it I'll always be a photographer it feels right to pass on knowledge now, my blog was 10 years old in February and Mandy Charlton Photography will be 9 years old on the 22nd of June.

I've had some amazing success, I've made some stupid mistakes but I'm more resilient than ever before, I'm human enough to say "yeah, I did that too" but I'm motivating enough to also say to people "come on, be the success in your business"  You see only you can be the success in your own life, it doesn't mean making the most money or being the most powerful business woman (or man) that ever there was, it's about being happy, being positive, inspiring others and pushing forward, taking things in new directions if necessary, you can be your own hero, you can be your own success. If you have children they'll always believe you are a superstar, to your pets you will always be the most important person and if you have a partner and family who have stuck by you and who push you on no matter what then every time you make them proud that's validation that you are a success.

You don't have to be happy in every moment of your life but your life is far too short to be unhappy. Stay away from negativity, from rain cloud people, from narcissists and saboteurs.  Don't entertain people who make you sad or treat you with passive aggressive distain because you are worth more than that.

If you are reading this today and you've just been offered a challenge, a progression, an opportunity then think of the words of Richard Branson, go forth and screw it, just do it.  To fail is to not try, if you try and you fail you've learned something, if you don't do anything you'll never ever know what might have happened and you never know, your new path might be the best thing you've ever done whether that be personally or professionally.

In the last few months I've taken on several new projects, I've started running, I've lost weight, I've trimmed down and I've smiled mostly every day, there's one thing for sure and I feel I am the success in my own life and nothing can stop me now!

I used to be successful

My daughter Loobys 11th birthday portrait

Good morning dear reader and yes it's a slightly later time of the day for me and my blogging fingers but I slept remarkably well until 9am (you can tell the girls and Petunia are staying at their dads until tomorrow) and now I am back in bed with my Mac and a cup of gingerbread coffee (only 2 cals per cup).

I've been thinking about success and what it is over the last few days, I really do believe that at varying times in my business I have actually achieved that, I also feel however that I achieved it at a great price, that of my marriage.

I never do anything by halves, it's not in my personality type, I either have to launch myself into things 150% or not at all, I can't have a like for something, I either love it or hate it with very little in between.  It's just the type of person I am.  It's probably why when I met Paul we found ourselves married within 6 months.

I actually find it quite easy to work 7 days a week, 365 days a year and up to 17 hours a day if necessary, all I have to let it do is consume me and fill me with passion and it's enough to nourish me to the point where I can put everything else aside.

Just lately I have reduced my hours so that I only work 3 days a week, 5 hours a day and then 1 day at weekends although during the busy times I do have to work more at weekends because that's when people want to have photo shoots, it's not that much trouble to adjust my diary every now and again but if there's something I've learned over the past few weeks and months it's that you can't put business above family because if you don't have business you will find a way to survive but if you don't have family and love well you just become an empty shell, man cannot live by money alone but give a man love and he'll find a way to make life work for him because I believe when you have love you can do anything, you can change the world if you have to.  I do know something and that is love is everything, business and success is a contributor to happiness but it's not the whole world.

And so if anyone asks me now I'll tell them that for a while there I was successful, I'm sure I could have achieved great things but I'd rather just trundle along now and have a chance that love and family might nourish all of those parts that I used to fill with work and the general running of business.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the career I have and writing and photography are careers which can actually be kind to family life and easily adapt to whichever situation you are in but my days of photographing 300 sessions in a year are over and I am happy with that decision.  I plan to put 150% into loving the ones I cherish and cherishing the ones I love just as I wrote in my blog about making a life plan

So this weekend dear reader get out there and do the same, put down those keyboards and pens and go have fun with those you love whether they be your children, your partners or your pets, embrace them and love them for if they disappeared from your life you would notice a lot more than if that spreadsheet you''re working on for Monday went missing.