I woke up this morning to a myriad of photographs of cute little people all dressed in smart new uniforms tentatively heading to school, some returning to new year groups, some starting new schools and the smallest are starting school for the very first time, it's a momentous day for a lot of you and I can't help remembering past years with Iain, Abigail and Looby.  This year of course Looby goes to St Mary's although she doesn't start until a week on Thursday and at the moment she's off in the sunshine with Abigail and dad, oh sunshine how I crave thee!

September for me has always been the start of a new year after taking the summer off with the kids, I didn't do that of course this year as I've been busier than ever but there's still been time for fun, holidays, travel assignments and so this week is mostly about catching up so I am up to date, thankfully a lack of sleep last night means that I'm currently about 5 minutes into that state which we like to call "Up to Date"

I can't but help reflect on things in the past year but I don't want to dwell and I've already posted my reflective September one year on post but I was talking on Facebook about some stuff yesterday - 

1. I've only got 9 days left and then have to have a routine again, bohemian living is going to have to be much more restrained. (boo)
2. I've just bought the rest of Loobys uniform for St Marys (OUCH)
3. Iain is 19 on Sunday, nothing can make me feel older than that!
4. I've been a singleton for a year and I didn't even think I could manage a week.
5. Holly Bobbins is 15 months old, she's been with me for 10 months!!
6. In one whole year I've never stayed out past 1am or been to a nightclub though I was involved in accosting a celebrity after a comedy gig.
7. I need to get out more in a social way though I'm terrible, much like Hannah Hauxwell and mostly end up just staying in watching classic movies with Cary Grant or Audrey Hepburn and eating noodles with my dog.

8. My main goals in this year are to increase the amount of travel writing/photography assignments and to keep growing my family portrait business so that it continues to thrive

9. I want to take Looby away for lots of adventures this year, some with Holly Bobbins of course but I'd also like to take her to some European cities to experience different cultures and see amazing sights together.

10.  In this next year I'd love to meet new people, and I want to say yes to more things, seriously if you're out there reading this, send me your ideas and requests, after all that is said and done I seriously think it's got to be my time to shine now hasn't it?  I'm so done with the harrowing life experiences ;)

Maybe I just need to find someone who'll come and eat noodles with my dog and I whilst we watch classic beautiful movies starring Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant?

One thing I've learnt from all that has been and gone is to never get complacent, never make too many plans for you just never know what's around the corner (good and bad), I've never really been a planner, I'm absurdly spontaneous (and very sparkly) which I guess can make me a great friend but also impossible to pin down and deal with at times.  I'm the kind of person who can get up in the morning and be in Inverness by the afternoon if the mood takes me, I'm an unstoppable force when I get something fixed in my mind, some call it madness, I call it creative spontaneity with a little added sparkle and it's something I will never ever apologise for again.

Be brave, be bold, reach for the stars and explode like a giant flower bloom into a glorious and memorable September.

One Year On, Just Being Me!

It's funny I think how we fixate on dates and anniversaries, I'm pretty sure it's a female thing, 1st February, my birthday, 14th April 2000, date I got married, 4th September 2014, the date my husband walked out on me...

I remember writing at the time that I wish I was a year on, or even 6 months because I knew that I would be better, that life would improve, that my heart wouldn't feel quite so broken.  So now I sit here just approaching the first anniversary of that momentous day and truly I do feel better.  Don't get me wrong, there's still an ache in my heart which may always be there, it creeps up on me every now and then and suddenly I'll feel catastrophically sad, I still ask myself the same unanswered questions, where did it all go wrong?  What did I do wrong? Could I possibly have saved it?

For the most part though, I am happy and bouncy and quite possibly even more whimsical than I ever was because it's quite possibly the first time in my life I've actually enjoyed being me on my own, making my own company, having conversations with my dog, she doesn't always answer but I'm sure she knows exactly what i'm thinking.

So much has changed in the last year, I rescued myself and I not only rescued my business but completely turned it around, I blogged my way not only back to happiness but also to success, I sit here today with excitement in my stomach that in just a few weeks I depart for my first international travel writing/photography assignment, the anticipation to see Rome and Barcelona in November is the thing that I'm holding on to whilst my girls are in Majorca with dad at the moment.  I hope it's the first of many assignments which will help me tick some treasured places I've dreamed of photographing, it's quite a long list but I get stupidly excited when I go on airplanes, just taking off makes me feel giddy, you know that bit where your head is pushed back into the seat as the acceleration and G force kicks in, it's a simple pleasure I suppose but it's connected to adventure and you all know how I love an adventure.

Whilst I can't say that this has been the best year of my life, I can say that in retrospect it's been a lot better than I ever imagined it would be, I want to give hope to you if you're sitting there reading this in the place I was this time last year, just keep holding on, those first few weeks and months seem like an eternity, one day though, you'll wake up and smile and feel happy again, it takes time, it only really happened to me one day during early summer, I felt happier than I had felt for years, I guess it was the day I knew I had become me again, the new me, the me I quite like, I'm a stone lighter than I was this time last year, there's an eternal battle between me vs the cake but a certain beagle ensures I get enough exercise to beat it, well just about...

I have great friends who've helped me get to the place I am now, they've laughed with me, cried with me, hugged me when I needed it and said nice things when I couldn't even bear to think them of myself.

This next year, well I'm just putting this out there but for me it's going to be the best year ever, I intend to travel and work (possibly combining the two) and I'm going to make sure I have the happiest children (and dog) on the planet, I want to spend time feeling the warmth of sunshine on my face and I want to have the glow of happiness in my heart.  You never really know what's around the next corner but if you set out to believe that there's happiness and adventure then I think maybe you're giving yourself a head start so lets all just do it, lets all just say that today, tomorrow, next month, the next year will be the very best!

A Refective Post For The Start of 2012

I was just glancing back at some old blog posts, I started this blog on the 26/02/06 so this year will be my 6th blogaversary, blimey six years of my collective thoughts and photographs all in one place.

When I started my blog it was mainly about family things, I was a mummy blogger I suppose, would you believe that at the start I hadn't even thought about starting my business, you can actually read about the journey into that right up until the day I officially launched in June 2007.

My blog changed after I started my business, it became more about business than about family and then I had a swing recently and now I think there's quite a good balance of family and business, maybe it's because I think I've finally found that elusive thing called the work/life balance or maybe it was because my children googled me and found my blog and insisted that I post more about their lives and history which seems fair enough really.

It's funny when I look back at those early days now, although it's nice to see some kind of photographic progression some of the early photography was, well, shocking!

I've learned so much since starting my business and this year I'll be launching my own style of photographic courses, "Lets Shoot Each Other and Shoot Your Kids" are bound to be a riot, they're still a couple of months away in terms of me feeling I'm ready to teach them but I'm really looking forward to it.

Now no blog post would be complete without a photo and I've not really lifted my camera for a couple of days so I'll leave you with this, this was our first New Years Eve family Singstar party, for the first time ever we let all the kids stay up till Midnight and we had a riot, yes that is Iain and Looby singing Lady Gaga.

Right then, I'm off to cook the Gammon which I never got around to cooking for Christmas day, I'm mostly working from home and chilling a lot this week before I get back to the studio on Saturday.  I'm just not quite ready to say goodbye to Christmas yet.

on the eve of a new year

Yes it's true, my last day as a thirty two year old and thirty three shall begin at midnight, actually I was born at teatime but we'll not quibble about those few hours, I'm sure when I reach 40 I won't be celebrating till the exact second!!

So has 32 been good?

Well I finally kissed goodbye to the harmful family members who had done so much damage over the years, still having to protect the children from their malevolence but I have no doubt that we'll triumph in the end.

I've got the beginnings of my own business which I never thought I would do, I have a job which I love and I have a husband who I adore and cherish, I aslo have three darling children who no matter what they get up to at home always behave immacuately in company (well nearly!!) I think I'm pretty well blessed lately actually.

I've of course just bought my first DSLR which a year ago may not have been half as possible, amazing what a two income family can do in comparison to a no income one!

Yes there have been tears and trials but you know that even if it's bad in the end so long as we learn from it then I firmly beleive it's all good and you can't know just how much therapy it's taken for me to realise that.

So the future is bright, I'm meeting with my therapist tommorrow and will be telling here that I feel it's time to wind things up, I have gone about as far as I can go i think and I'm as healed as I possibly can be. my hubby remarked the other day that I'm definetly not the damaged woman he married, I'm this whole other exciting and exhilarating being, thats about the best compliment that anyone could give.

Life is Good!!