As surely as day becomes night, summer must also turn into autumn and I find myself asking "what the hell is 2020?"

Now I must firstly say that I'm currently sitting at my desk catching up on 9 days off whilst also throwing my arms in the air singing along to "Proud" and other wonderful music from my "Happy music for musical moments" Spotify playlist.  I'm happy when I'm at my desk in a way I don't think I ever was previously, there's a simple kind of joy in sending out parcels which bring delight to the recipients of what I like to call gifty goodness.  Who can even believe I'm sitting here in my home office where I have an online gift boutique?  Madness, that's what it is, that's what this whole year has been.

I've been genuinely distressed at several points of this year, I remember just after lockdown thinking I'd lost both of the businesses I had when we went into 2020 as well as being separated from my daughters for way longer than I wanted to be and that was even before I broke my arm!

Where are we now?

So, where are we now?  Well, my gift boutique certainly seems to be thriving, even in August, the 4am of retail it did pretty well by anyone's standards and I have high hopes for Q4.  I'm still not fully ready to talk about the future of my wedding and portrait photography business, it's currently just in a coma sleeping, paid work is still incredibly hard to come by and after losing between £20-30K this year, well let's just say I try not to think about it for fear I'll throw up.  I don't think there are any answers as yet, we're in a massive bloody recession, people still don't feel safe and there are so many restrictions around what I can actually do that I do question often if it's even worth it.  Dammit though, I do still love photography and I love my clients, I love telling stories through images (and words) and I still cry at most of the weddings I shoot because love is beautiful.

What Happens Next?

What happens next is anyone's guess really, I do know that the one thing I have fallen in love with again is writing about my life and more specifically about travel so when Abigail asked me if I wanted to go to Gdansk next Monday for a minibreak, first I questioned how I was old enough to have a daughter who wanted to take her mum on a minibreak, then I accepted with much gratitude, I've had a Polish guidebook on my bookshelf for at least 2 years, I literally can't wait to go to Poland, to soak up the culture and to spend time with my daughter before she goes off to Uni in a few weeks.  I will, of course, take many photos and write a few words to go with each on both here and on Instagram and you can bet that my soul will be full and happy and nourished because travel fills my cup until it runs over and soaks everyone else it touches with love and enthusiasm.

The best adventures are yet to come...

Ways to support my writing

If you have enjoyed this article or found it useful and would like to support my writing I'd love a virtual coffee

I also have a lovely Facebook group I'd love you to come and join 

You could also come and follow me on Instagram to keep up with my adventures, I really am grateful for all

of your love and support.

Oh and of course, you could just treat yourself to something lovely from Philomena's Boutique, my gift boutique

which is diverse, sustainable and totally lush!

From the bottom of the dark chasm

This weekend, everything hit, the world literally fell apart, the news that it's just me and Iain against the world living at home has broken my heart and the news that the new owners of Inspire chose to announce their arrival at pretty much the same time left me wondering just what the point of life was for a while.

But...

By yesterday evening when talking with Iain I said: "you know, nothing more can happen, we have reached the point where things can't actually get worse than they are now so the only way is up."  It seems my life and inner resilience has been there all along just waiting to get me through things like this.

I still can't talk about Inspire, it hurts too much, I took a drastic decision to protect my family and to survive when I was really bloody poorly, well I still am, in many respects, I still have a tumour on my parathyroid that isn't going anywhere and that has a profound effect on my energy levels, on my mental health and how thirsty I constantly feel.  So know that this was something which has happened at breakneck speed but it won't really be over until the summer and maybe then, I'll write that book!

There's also the fact that at some point I'm going to have to apply for Universal Credit and because there are only Iain and I living here, we'll be subject to the bedroom tax.  I can not believe we have come to this place.  I swore when I started my photography business in 2007 that I would never go back on benefits.  Believe me, when I also say that I was thankful that I could claim disability benefits when I was super poorly with my mental health,  we were under a kinder, more socialist type of government then though.

I think like most of us I alternate between moments of utter hysteria to feeling calm because I no longer have to worry about all of my clients and the women I was looking after and nurturing and reassuring every day.  I am still doing that of course, I have a small and wonderful community which I'm building into something new and different which will service the small business community as well as "normal" employed families who are also consumers, it's going to take time and love but I've done it before and I know that I can do it again because...

You can take everything away from a person but you will never replace spirit, love, and most of all authenticity.  You cannot be a fake and last forever, sooner or later you will be called out and whilst I may have my up and down moments and a personality which can be confusing to even myself, I think you all know by now that I only have love in my heart and fire in my belly.

I'm advertising again as a photographer in Newcastle to photograph weddings in 2021/2022 because we have to believe that this will all be over soon, well maybe not soon but I have no doubt that 21/22 will be bumper years for weddings and probably for portraits too as I'm sure many new lives are being created right at this time, new loves are forming and people in extraordinary circumstances are becoming soulmates.

Love always wins, I truly believe that with all of my heart and so I'm supporting decisions which I did not take knowing it's the best action for me, for now, because it makes things hurt less and because deep inside my psyche I still have hope.



If you have read this article I'd love you to buy me a virtual coffee so that I can keep writing until I can resume my life's work as a photographer.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

The Wedding of Donna and David, a Durham Castle wedding

I adore Durham Castle, I've shot there several times and it's really a photographers dream, used in the Harry Potter movies it always feels quite a magical place and when you couple that with a handful of true love theres really nothing better.

It was a bright cold January day when we arrived to meet Donna in the Bishops Suite, Donna is beautiful and also gorgeous on the inside, a total pleasure to be around and her true love David is handsome and funny, a really great guy.  Shooting their wedding was the best start to my 2014 wedding season.

(don't forget if you want to book me for your wedding and you book before the end of February you get a complimentary pre-wedding shoot with disk of images worth £335).

Should we have some images?

Donna and David, thank you for letting me share in your most special day, I hope you have a wonderful happy future together.

To speak to me about booking me to be your wedding photographer please contact me via email, my website or my facebook page

a few sneaky peeks from last weekends weddings

Last weekend I shot weddings on Friday and Saturday and both of them were absolutely wonderful, I had a total blast last weekend, I think if you're going to spend your weekends working then there's no better way to do it than to photograph lovely weddings with fabulous couples as I do.

The top 2 images are from Gemma and Micks wedding, they married at St Pauls church in Whitley bay and had their reception at The Grand in Tynemouth, it was such a gorgeous wedding and we were so lucky because it didn't rain so we got to shoot the portraits as planned on the beach opposite The Grand.

On Saturday Susan and Jonathan married in a small civil ceremony at Newcastle Registry Office before we went off to the Newcastle/Gateshead Quays for photographs and then onto the County Thistle Hotel in central Newcastle for a swish reception. Once again I thanked the universe as we ended up with a day where it didn't rain and we got all of the planned outdoor shots with no problems at all, of course i had a back up plan for both weddings but luckily didn't need it.

What struck me about last weekends weddings was the depth of the love shared by both couples, there were so many smiles and special moments they shared and I'm so lucky that they chose me to be their wedding photographer.

Full blog posts on both weddings coming up as soon as the couples are back from honeymoon and they've seen all of their lovely galleries.


To speak to me about shooting your 2012/2013/2014 weddings please click through to my website and if you're viewing on an iPad/iPhone click through to my HTML website

The wedding of Donna and Richard at The Mansion House, Jesmond

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to photograph the wedding of lovely couple Richard and Donna, I met them some time ago through Twitter when they were looking for a wedding photographer, I jumped at the chance to shoot at The Mansion House in Jesmond because it's one of my favourite venues, I'd last shot Caroline and Omars wedding there and it struck me as a cosy intimate venue, perfect for Donna and Richards wedding with 28 of their closest friends and family.

Here's the story of their special day in photographs -

The gardens at the Mansion House are so beautiful and well tended, there are so many areas to have gorgeous couples portraits

 and don't worry if it rains, there is a beautiful staircase and plenty of areas indoors where portraits would be perfect too!

Richard and all his groomsmen wore bright socks and so we shot a slightly amusing portrait, note that they're all doing funny things with their fabulous Paul Smith socks!

Richard and Donna took time to email me from their honeymoon to tell me how much they loved their photographs, things like that make me so happy!!

If you are getting married soon or maybe not for a while why not come and have a chat with me about your wonderful day, I have some availabilty left in 2012 while 2013 is looking busier by the minute, to contact me visit my website or if you are viewing on your iphone my html website is here