When you are growing up at school surrounded by people you make new friends every day, Looby met her best friend in nursery and I have a feeling that no matter where life takes them they'll always be friends.

As we grow up and paths take us in different directions we often lose people along the way and as we walk through our lives we pick up new important people along the way.

When I started my business I had very few friends, agoraphobia isn't the best for getting out there and meeting people but I've been the luckiest to make long lasting friendships and to now be surrounded by a small circle of people I actually adore.

I always thought it was much harder to make friends when you are older but in a funny way I've found that the type of friends I have means that I end up being introduced to their friends and I introduce them to my friends and the friendship circle grows.

Take Kelly for example, a couple of months ago I didn't know lovely Kelly but now she's a regular at "Friends for Dinner" my open house Monday's and I speak to her every day along with Harriet, we almost always end up at "Youth Club" on a Friday night and she's enriched my life with her warm personality and sometimes outrageous but seriously entertaining tales, if you ever meet her, you'll definitely remember her.

Last week was Kelly's birthday and Kelly being a big fan of Gin was the very apt recipient of a jar of Gin and Elderflower humbugs, yes, that's right guys, now you can have Gin in a lollipop or humbug thanks to the wonder of Holly's Lollies and can I just say that I've tried the lolly myself and it's possibly the best ever lolly I've had in my life, perfect for presents or just when the moment strikes you, it's the perfect naughty but not so naughty gift.  I also happen to think that if you are planning a wedding these would be the perfect wedding favours so 2017 brides take note!

I'm delighted to be collaborating with Holly's Lollies over the next few months so I can't wait to try more of the fabulous flavours and maybe gifting a few to my favourite people.

So it's kind of weird that Kelly just landed in my life and became part of my "Framily" as I like to call them (that's friends who are family) but it feels like she's always been there, just like Harriet, Li Laura,  and Stacey all of whom have met each other and who all get on like the proverbial house on fire.

Around the same time that Kelly bounced into my life I also happened upon someone else although it's about 100 times more complicated but I also speak to him every day, he's never yet made it to a Monday night or a Friday night at the local, he has though met Kelly and Harriet and they really liked him.  What's weird is for all we're miles apart we still manage to talk about all kinds of things in a never ending conversation, obviously,  I tend to use a lot more words than he does but it's really lovely that he came into my life when he did and I'm sure anyone who met him would think he was adorable.

When I set out to write this article I sat down and thought for a moment about all of the incredible friends I have my life now, some I see virtually every day, some I don't see nearly enough but through social media I don't think anyone is ever as apart or isolated as they once were and that feels good to me, the best thing is that you can keep up with what's happening with people's lives and so when you do manage to steal an hour or two it's so much easier to pick up where you left off, I know many hate Facebook and social media but for someone like me I think it's an absolute life saver, I love tech and it's many ways it lets me communicate with my nearest and dearest so you'll never hear me complaining.  Now about those Gin flavoured lollies, if anyone wants one you'll just have to come and pinch them from me!

The Story of Looby, A Fairy Tale

"Once upon a time, there was a tiny baby who snuggled inside her mummy's tummy, for 9 months the kindly mum dreamt of the day she would finally meet the baby growing inside her and on the day the baby was born, the kindly mum got quite a surprise when she found out that the boy she thought she had been carrying was actually a blonde haired, green eyed girl.  When the mummy held her newborn for the very first time after she was lifted from her tummy she cried happy tears of joy, she was the only one of her three babies she was well enough to hold.

For one whole month, the mummy and the beautiful baby girl lived in a hospital whilst the doctors tried hard to fix mummy's head so that she wouldn't cry every day and finally after lots of meetings and medication the lovely mummy was allowed to bring her darling girl home.

With this baby everything was different, she didn't mind the 3am feeds or the crying in the night because she was well now and embraced every day, she looked at her daughter with adoration in her eyes instead of the sadness in her heart she'd felt because of the evil monster, postnatal depression.   The darling baby grew into the most beautiful princess who's smile shone right from the middle of her heart and over the years the little girl grew into a wonderful quirky young lady who's inner sparkle radiated throughout the kingdom like a unicorn in flight.  The girl had hidden powers of magic, she made everyone feel loved and wanted and hugged anyone who felt sad or alone.  The young lady's name was, of course, Looby".

Last week, Looby became a teenager, my youngest child is now a teenager, there are still magical days of course but I thought I better get that fairy style story written down so that one day she'll find it and know just how very different my experience of motherhood was with her, it's always different with your baby of course because they are your baby, even if it's hard to see that when the teenager filled with a million different feelings and hormones is screaming at you from across the room or slamming doors so hard that they knock the pictures off the wall!  

Every year on Looby's birthday we have the best tea parties and we always have cake!  This year we had 2 amazing cakes, a pinata cake made by Abigail and the other, a unicorn chocolate cake from the amazingly talented Helen at Van-illa Treats.

I of course baked and this year it has been a dream thanks to my fabulous stand mixer from Savisto which I will be writing a full review of but let's just say, I baked meringues for the very first time, my Eton mess was an amazing gooey success and the whole party was one long chatty, noisy, cacophonous evening full of the very best people.

Another thing I've always managed to do with Looby is to take an official birthday portrait, something to mark each passing year, it's amazing just how much she has changed in this year, a tumultuous year which we'll never forget and I'm so happy that she's so healthy and happy now, if I never see another children's ward I will be very thankful. For now though we're looking to the future and I can't wait to see what happens, Looby has big plans for 13 starting with making a magical bedroom for herself, a holiday with dad next year already planned and I'm sure she and I will have so much fun and laughter and cuddles and love, we do that every day already but whatever happens, the one thing I know, Looby will forever be my baby.

A Tuesday Cornucopia

I sat down to write this post yesterday in the kitchen in the afternoon while I was cooking a chicken dinner (my sons favourite) and doing 43 things at once dear reader, well it's now Tuesday morning, bit late but we got here eventually.

So todays post is a real cornucopia really, lots of things to tell you about!

Firstly on Sunday I celebrated my birthday by spending the morning in beautiful Alnmouth on the beach with Looby, Holly and Petunia.  Holly was also celebrating, she's a whole 8 months old now and she's just the best dog in the whole world, I might have mentioned that once or twice in the past ;)

She's pretty much off lead all the time now in safe places, I do have to say that her beagle deafness was pretty bad on the beach though and I had to go and fetch her from the middle of the golf course at one point, she's a bit spaniel obsessed and easily led once she finds them!

Whilst I wouldn't want a birthday portrait, I think it's essential to have one when you're as cute as Holly the beagle

Have you noticed that Petunia who perpetually has a silly smile on her face actually makes Holly look very serious and a bit grumpy?

In the afternoon we enjoyed the last light of the day in the park at Morpeth, it's one of my favourite Northumbrian places and I love a walk along the river.

The moon had just popped it's head out as I walked over the bridge and caught this with the reflections of the trees in the river, very pretty I thought and a lovely way to spend a birthday!

Business News

due to a cancellation I have availability this weekend for a kids/family/couples photo shoot anywhere in the north east, please do get in touch, it's only £25 for a photo shoot in Jesmond Dene, Saltwell Park or Tynemouth Longsands or at other locations from £40 and you get a complimentary print, web gallery for 30 days, 15% off for the first 7 days your gallery is live and further prints start at £10 for a 7x5, £13 for a 10x8 and £15 for a 12x8, the light is lovely in February and as print and session prices are due to rise at the end of February it's a great time to take advantage of the availability.  Also if you would like to have a photo shoot over the half term holidays could you please book your session quickly so then I can plan my diary around them!  I'll be available on Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat or Sunday depending on when bookings come in so pick your place first and then you get the choice!

Mothers Day Sessions

I announced these late last week and there are only 6 sessions still available, for all of the details about this day of very special sessions on Saturday 14th March at Tynemouth Longsands please see this lovely gallery and post all about them but be quick, I don't think there'll be many sessions still available by the end of the week! 

Right then, bit of a jumble but back tomorrow as usual with hopefully some quite exciting news about the future.

Taking stock of January

It's February tomorrow dear reader, a whole new month, Holly will be 8 months old and I'll be, well lets just say it's my birthday but if anyone asks I am 35 and sticking ;)  I heard that people are allowed to wish Philip Schofield happy birthday but no one is ever allowed to refer to how old he is, well he's perpetually young so if that's all it takes I'll just tell people I'm 35 forever.

So it's the end of January and I am taking stock of the last month, it's been quite a month for me personally, this month has been about helping myself and others to get control of their lives so that they (and I) can become fuller, better, richer, more fulfilled people.  I want to thank you for all of the messages, comments, discussions on my Facebook (that's my personal Facebook, please do feel free to add me, but not if you're an axe wielding psychopath).  It's great to be able to help others to help themselves and sometimes it's just as much as getting someone else to vocalise the questions you can't seem to ask yourself, I of course do this myself with others who are far more knowledgeable like the amazing Leonie Dawson for instance!  I'm sure you'll hear much more about her as we go through the year.

The very most important thing I did of course was to start the month forgiving myself and anyone who'd ever hurt me, it's given me the power to build the entire foundations of my new life and it's a wonderful amazing thing and life is only going to continue to get better and better.  This single point has brought forth the most questions I've had asked and I just want to reiterate that it's not about knocking on everyones door who has ever wronged you, it's just about you making your peace with yourself, the universe and God and I think from experience that actually it was a lot harder for me to find inner forgiveness and be at peace with myself more than anyone else but my goodness, my shoulders relaxed straightaway and one physical thing I've noticed is that I've had far less neck pain during January, I think holding onto things just builds up inside you and it can actually cause physical pain, of course you have to be able to let go and this was something I covered yesterday, it's taken me time to reconnect with my own emotions and let myself be truly happy, sad, excited, interested instead of pretty numb to it all.  As many of you know I am bi-polar and I take medication which does control at least some of my emotions but I found that digging inside myself I can still reach them all, I just had to look a teeny bit harder.

Look, I'm really proof that if I can do it, screwed up, made a mess of it a billion times and bought the T-shirt then for you, well not only is it possible but it's an absolute definite!

The first key to everything is a simple smile in the mirror at yourself, fake it till you make it if you have to, it's been proven psychologically that if someone smiles at you it makes you happier and if you smile at yourself it makes you happy.

So what are you waiting for?  Smile at yourself, be happy and lets all leap into February and have the best month together we've all had for years!

I shall be starting mine off with dog walking, lunching, caking and champagning, sounds like a good first of February to me!

Inner Peace and a Greater Understanding of my Psyche

With my 41st birthday approaching like a train hurtling towards me without any breaks I've been feeling the need to make plans, to-do lists and a jotter full of suggestions for myself of things I should do/attempt/go to/try over the course of the next year... Well you would think that wouldn't you?  But it reality it's just there hanging in the back of my mind like a lonesome worry the size of Birmingham, it's looming large and growing like a large spot without a head on, you know the ones, they throb, they're red and angry but you can't actually get rid of them just yet!

Last year around my 40th birthday I seem to remember wanting to make To-do lists of things I wanted to achieve over the course of the last year, none of them went to plan and I ended up having probably the worst year of my entire life so it is why there is a certain amount of trepidation to try and set goals for myself over the coming year.

I do feel one thing, I am delighted that once I reach Sunday I will no longer have to be 40 anymore, I always dreaded 40 and it seems with retrospect that it was for very good reason.

I do find now that I am in a very happy and settled period of my life though that 40 was probably the exact right age to get a dog, parents you can use that with your children "No Philomena, you can't have a puppy, we'll get one when you are 40"

Speaking of puppies, Holly had a brilliant time yesterday running around a field off lead, her recall is so good, perhaps because she loves me or perhaps because I am the lady with a pocket full of treats or maybe it's a bit of both.

I could actually state that as the single best highlight of being 40, adopting Holly has given me not only a whole new lease of life but she's changed my life, given me a whole new outlook and taught me some things about life, love and the universe and all without actually saying a thing.

I'd love the next year of my life to be full of new experiences, fun times and family times, I want photography and writing to remain the focus of my working life because they're the tools which have the ability to provide the existence of new experiences.   Work of course doesn't have to feel like work when you enjoy it and have fun, that is a fact that I've definitely learnt in the last decade!

and so here I am on the verge of 41 with no plans, to-do lists (not even a weekly one yet) or goals and I am simply going to jot down a few ideas, open myself up to as many new experiences as possible and work as much as I need to so that I can achieve that.  I'm not looking to change the world but maybe I am looking to change my own world so that I can continue to grow and heal and be happy and loved and enjoy the experience of living a fulfilled life, and isn't that what we're all trying to achieve at the end of the day?  Inner peace and a deep understanding of our own psyches? 

Step 1 - Get a dog...

Growing Old Disgracefully

I always planned that I should get old disgracefully dear reader although the reality of the situation is that I'm slightly uptight, middle class and ageing by the day, last night I had dinner with a friend, did some stargazing, saw a shooting star and drank a bottle of wine, 1 whole bottle of wine when you're 40 is like 6 bottles of wine when you are 22!  I'll just say three words and those of you who are of a similar age will understand - Heartburn, Hangover, Hell!

I did mostly enjoy seeing the stars in the middle of nowhere though and I must make more attempts to A, buy yet another tripod without losing the bit that attaches to the camera (you wouldn't believe how many useless tripods I actually own) and B, get out and see the stars and take some photos of them, they really are quite splendid, especially if you go up into the borders to see them where there's no light pollution.

Today it's Loobys official birthday luncheon with 4 of her closest friends plus Abigail, Paul and myself, now I have to openly admit that I am not the best at squealing eleven year olds, especially when they belong to other people and they're in a group, it's that high pitched squeal only audible by mums, cats and woodland animals, I'm not sure if going into this with a mild hangover is the recommended approach, maybe I'll take ear muffs and no one will notice!

I am happy that my Petunia comes home again today, I have missed her furry face though I have to also point out that I have quite enjoyed being able to stay in bed past 6am in the morning, I could quite get used to blogging in bed with my mug of gingerbread coffee every day, you're probably wondering why I'm drinking gingerbread coffee, well to tell the truth I ran out of Tassimo disks and then I drank filter coffee and it made me a little too manic because I have an inability to brew anything but extra strength coffee and then all I could find in the cupboard was an unused jar of this gingerbread concoction which I probably had left over from last years Christmas Flavourly box, if you haven't heard of Flavourly it's a monthly foodie gourmet goodie box which contains all manner of tasty treats each month, I recommend it with 2 thumbs up and if you use that link you'll get a fiver off your first box!

And so it's that point of the morning where I must extract myself from the comfort of my quilt, take some painkillers and try to make myself look anything less than 312 for todays celebrations so dear reader go out there into the world and find something you can celebrate today even if it's just finding the nearest horse chestnut tree and foraging for conkers.

Settling into new routines

Enjoying walkies time with Petunia

I don't really think I've anything much to write about this morning dear reader but bear with me because I'll ramble a little anyway, life has been trundling onwards for a few weeks now and we've definite new routines which may not work for other people but we've kind of relaxed into them.  I've always hated mornings but now I find myself sitting here on the Settee blogging at 5 or 6am every morning, my dog loves early mornings and although I can't say I'm a huge fan I have kind of settled into them.

When we get to about 7.15 I'll shout for the girls to get up although Looby who is also a morning person is sometimes up, dressed and half way to being ready by then!

Paul comes for coffee every morning and we all sit/stand around the kitchen chatting about yesterday/the day to come or what's going on in various schedules and how we're going to manage that and then at 8.15 everyone leaves for the day and I make my 145th coffee of the day!

Yesterday Looby had an amazing day for her birthday and we all went out as a family last night for birthday fish and chips at Amble which was lovely.

This weekend I'm looking forward to a lie in tomorrow and Saturday when the girls and Petunia are staying with their dad, tomorrow I have a wedding in the afternoon and then I am going out with a friend and on Sunday I'm taking Looby, 4 friends and one of my very best friends in the whole world Li and her daughter all out for Loobys official birthday luncheon, oh yes we're very sophisticated now she's a young lady of 11, no soft play for her (thank goodness).

I've just noticed this morning that in the news they're talking about people signing pre-nups about pets, I just want to say this.... If you are grown ups you'll find it's just as easy to co-parent a dog as it is to co-parent your children.

You never know what's around the corner, some corners are a lot harder to see around or they just hide the path to the future more than others but all relationships with friendship at the base of them have a chance of survival because friendship is such a powerful bond.

I'd say this week for me has been a pretty good week, I've certainly taken on lots of new lovely work, I made my life plan, I've cuddled my children and my dog a lot and I've enjoyed the beginning of Autumn and embraced the future which as far as I can see is about turning negatives to positives and always remembering that no matter what happens you can never change the past, all you can do is reassess and move onwards using the knowledge of past events to guide you through the future.

So dear reader, go out there this weekend, kick those leaves or catch them as they tumble from the trees, take out your cameras and embrace the parks and nature that surrounds you and say a quiet thank you for all that is good to the universe and always remember that life doesn't have to be perfect to be lovely.

Happy Birthday Looby

Today dear reader is a day for celebrations, a day for putting differences to one side, a day for coming together as one family to say Happy 11th Birthday beautiful Looby.

Looby is such a special girl, she's always bright and cheery, of all of my children it's Looby who looks forward to the future with such hope in her heart and happiness in her soul, for her no matter what the situation she believes that in the fullest time of things that life will be better than ever in the end.

She loves without fear and is loved in return by so very many people, she has an unique ability to cheer anyone up and has often sent messages to my friends when they're feeling low telling them something simple like "you're awesome" or "you're beautiful" just to make them feel better, her capacity to love human nature is unbounding.

She loves her friends at school although she's not the biggest fan of formal education, as she has put it many times "but mammy, I don't really need to go to school, I could just come on adventures with you, everything I need to know in life I could learn from you or daddy"

From the youngest age Looby has been a friend of the animals and more of my direct debits every month go out for Loobys latest adopted pets than they do for bills, she currently sponsors a guide dog puppy, some snow leopards, the RSPCA and a dog from the dogs trust (and for she sponsors, you can assume it's actually me that pays for them, haha).  From the day she could tell us what she wanted to do when she grew up she said she would love to be a farmer and to this day it's the thing she wants to do, she loves horses and rides very well, I honestly don't think there's anyone who Looby doesn't like or love.

So to my very special daughter I want to say a huge Happy 11th Birthday and may you fulfil every dream you have and just for you here's some highlights of your 11 years on this earth.

Happy Birthday Looby, never change even one little bit!