Life Lessons from the Rise, Fall, and Soft Life Reinvention of a Midlife Creator

The biggest mistake you’ll ever make is believing you’ve found your destination. That you’ve arrived. Sat-nav triumphantly declares, “You’ve reached your final destination,” and you… what? Just stop there? Unpack the metaphorical suitcase and settle in forever?

A couple of years ago, I had the chance to start my life again. I was fresh out of surgery after having two tumours removed and, like some bizarre plot twist, I’d just been signed to be managed by TikTok. And so, for the past two years, I poured my heart, soul, and every last ounce of serotonin into doing everything TikTok wanted.

I stopped writing.

I barely left the house.

I livestreamed every single day.

And it worked. I clawed my way up the ranks and became a Star Creator. Except… here’s the part they don’t tell you: after Star Creator, there’s nowhere else to go. You hit the top of the mountain only to realise it’s actually just a small, overcrowded plateau with a very steep drop on the other side.

I found myself stuck in a system where people above me were earning ridiculous sums I could never quite reach. And the more I leaned into shoppable content, the further away I moved from the person I actually am.

When the big Star Creator paydays stopped rolling in, TikTok wasted no time shoving me back down the ladder into what they call “Ascending Stars”… or as I like to call it, Descending Stars™, because nothing says “motivational career progression” like being demoted with all the enthusiasm of a sad trombone.

For nine long months, I lived under the crushing weight of sales targets—something no neurodivergent person should ever have to endure. And now? Now I’m floating in some weird no-man’s-land, realising I’ve learned everything there is to know about TikTok… and maybe that’s the whole point.

Maybe TikTok wasn’t the end game.

Maybe it was just the training ground.

Let’s be honest, TikTok is in decline. People hate the shop culture. It started as an entertainment platform, morphed into a glorified marketplace, and promptly lost all sense of identity. Now it suppresses shoppable posts so much that creators are fighting tooth and nail just to be seen. It’s a vicious little cycle—creators post more, content gets suppressed more, and everyone just collectively hates it. The viewers hate it. The brands are over it. And the creators? Well, we’re just standing here like, “Is this thing on?”

But here’s the funny part: I was doing affiliate marketing long before TikTok. It actually took TikTok to remind me what affiliate marketing really is. And now? I’m lucky enough to have built a social following across multiple platforms, which means I can dust myself off and start again—without having to beg the algorithm for mercy.

I went to Amazon Influencer School this week and let me tell you, nothing says “wake-up call” like sitting in a room full of people who don’t even have TikTok accounts and are still absolutely smashing it. Imagine my shock—turns out, the world doesn’t revolve around TikTok after all. Who knew?

And here’s the life lesson I’m taking with me into this new chapter: I know my audience. I know exactly who they are. And a lot of them? They’re not even on TikTok. They’re living their best midlife moments reading blogs, enjoying long-form content, and embracing the kind of joy that doesn’t involve spending three hours filming a 15-second video.

It’s never too late to change direction. Never too late to make a new plan. I do it all the time—I reinvent myself every couple of years because I adapt, I pivot, and I chase whatever’s working. Survival of the sassiest, if you will.

So here we are. A brand-new dawn. I’m taking myself away, living the soft life, and—perhaps most importantly—remembering who the hell I was before all of this.

Because maybe TikTok was never the end.

Maybe… it was just the beginning.

If you need me, I’ll be in my garden, living my soft life and dramatically plotting my next era. Feel free to watch from a safe distance—or come and see what I’m quietly building over on Amazon. You don’t have to buy a thing—just follow along and keep me company while I figure out what’s next.

Who do you want to be and how are you going to achieve that?

This week has been a wonder and a revelation dear reader, it's great to hear so many of you joining in with grabbing your life by the horns and roaring like a panther.  I've been roaring myself in the quieter moments.

You see it's great to help other people find themselves and I think it almost pushes me onwards to become the person I've always wanted to be.

Have you ever asked that very important question of yourself?  Who do you want to be and what are the actions you can take to be that person?

For me, I want to be self confident, honest, happy, lovable, someone who will be embraced and will be able to give as much love as I receive, I still want to be successful although my definitions of success may have changed ever so slightly and of course I want to continue to work towards being an experientialist.

So I know where I want to be, I know what I want to be and now I have to ask myself the questions of how I'll achieve that?  Well I suppose that goes back to my last blog about getting control of your life right now!

My biggest thing was to forgive myself and others so I did that in January, I've talked about this before and lets just take a minute to ponder it, a blanket of forgiveness for yourself and for anyone who has ever wronged you, look I'm not suggesting you go and knock on peoples doors and tell them, nor am I suggesting that you ever have to speak to people who've wronged you ever again but you just need to say it to yourself and to the universe and let it all go, the minute I did it I felt the biggest amount of relief, I actually felt it in my neck and in my shoulders, it was a big Ahhhh moment and I think it's the very first step to any life plan really.

You also need to know that it's ok to feel whatever emotion you are feeling, we spend so much time keeping emotions in and they are damaging, I learnt to keep emotions locked away quite some time ago and it's taken me so long to be able to release them again and I can't tell you just how good it feels to be able to just cry openly again, it still doesn't happen all that often but yesterday for example I had moments of happiness and sadness and I let myself feel those emotions as they occurred and I think I sleep much better at night because my brain isn't constantly in turmoil.

One final thing which is great to embrace is that it's ok to be the person you are, be honest and be forthright, if people can't handle that then it's definitely not your fault, you will end up in a situation where you have exactly the people you need in your life to help carry you forward and you in turn will help them in the same ways, you see we're all on a voyage of discovery, we're all trying to be the best people we can be and as long as we realise you only have to be good enough and not constantly strive for perfection then that is a very good thing.

So this weekend when you have a spare 5 minutes (It's my birthday on Sunday so I'm planning lots of spare minutes....which contain copious amounts of cake or Champagne) just ask yourself that very important question, who do you want to be? and if you aren't already there, and lets face it, we're all mostly on the journey towards it, people who have achieved it are definitely in the minority, so what are you going to do to make those changes and achieve your own personal state of nirvana?

10 Ways To Take Control of Your Own Life Right Now!

Hey you!, yes you dear reader, I am talking directly to you today, you see, there's something I've learned to reach this point in my life on our small planet we call earth and here's what it is;

1. Take control of your own life right now!  It's not going to make things instantly better and you will still cry and be sad, you will still have days where you want to hide under your duvet in the corner of your room (it's not just me who does that is it?) but you will be in control of your own destiny and that in itself is a powerful and positive step which no one can take away from you.
2. Ask questions of yourself and others but be prepared for people to tell the truth, this is a step which can actually be the most difficult thing because you might get answers you don't want to hear but even if you do, you chose to ask the question, have the opinion and no one can ever take away the feelings you have inside and you must remember this, never derivate away from it or make compromises for how you feel in your heart and even more so you should never apologise for feeling the way that you do.
3. The unfortunate circumstance is you can't expect people to feel differently to the way that they do and so you're going to have to deal with that yourself because remember that whatever you do you are only able to change yourself, no matter what you do or how you feel you really can't change someone else, they have to do that themselves and if they promise you that they will change you should always take that with a pinch of salt because you then have to ask yourself if that person is saying it to make you feel better or are they compromising their beliefs and opinions to soften the blow?
4. Sometimes even if you can learn from past mistakes there are things in life which are so big that you will never understand that the best course of action is to just draw a line under it, start afresh and never speak of it again.
5. Try to only thing of good things and see the positives in other people, it's a lot easier than being suspicious or making assumptions.
6. Be Open to everything, now I'm not suggesting that you should accept an invitation to cliff jump next weekend but try to say yes more often, especially if it's to a new experience because it might just be the most fun thing you have ever done.
7. Forgive yourself, yes we all make mistakes, some of them are minor, some of them are huge massive cataclysmic mistakes but other people won't forgive you until you can first forgive yourself.
8. Get out more!  I can honestly say that this January my seasonally affective disorder has been a bit rubbish but nowhere near as bad as it's been for years and that's thanks to Holly and our daily adventures, even if we only manage an hour in the park it helps with my social interactions, my soaking up of sunshine and my general happiness over all.
9. Have more experiences and less things yep, I wrote about that one already.
10. Love and hug more, yes I know that we're all terribly British (unless you are reading this from somewhere more exotic) and known for our stiff upper lips but why shouldn't we hug our friends and tell them we love them, I'm not saying we should become false and tell everyone "Oh I love you sweetie" but if you love your friends then it's ok to say I love you, you might even make their day.

Now I could have added in another one about having a pet to cuddle (get a beagle) but I know that's not possible for everyone, I do think having a pet is a great idea if it's possible to have one in your life, pets give far more than they ask for and I think somewhat that could be even more true in the case of rescue pets.

So lets read through the list, follow steps 1-10 and then march forth in the knowledge that we are in control, we are bright and shiny beings and the world is ours!