Several years ago when I took my vow of positivity to the universe, I learned the most valuable lesson, to just throw love at every situation, in life, in business, in friendships and of course in love.

Just lately when life has been tumultuous I've had to remind myself of this so many times, you see when things aren't going your way it's so easy to get angry with the world or irked with the people you should be showing love and kindness.  You know when you have a bad day, especially in business and you are cross and cranky and then someone sends a query or says something you disagree with, in that and every other situation the best thing is to throw love at it.

There have been times in the last 10 years when I've made mistakes and I've had to go to clients or friends and say, I did something wrong, I made a mistake, I'm sorry, what can I do to put this right? It really is okay to make mistakes because none of us is perfect but sometimes we can get angry or defensive and you know what, if you show that to someone else then you'll only get anger or sorrow back.  In every situation where I have made mistakes, I've always found a kind reaction to saying sorry.  I guess after my angry rant last night with Deliveroo, I'm hoping they'll do the same, incidentally, they've still not gotten back to me but I'm trying to be patient and accepting that it's the weekend and they do care.

I've also figured out that sometimes, I think I have it all and I rest on my laurels, something you should never do because you should never stop trying, in life and in business and heaven forbid in matters of the heart.  You should never believe you have it all and things will always stay that way because if you do, one day your complacency will be punished.

I know now that one day I will have it all but when that happens I will never stop being grateful, I'll never stop trying and I'll never become complacent.  When you are in your 40's you have the benefit of hindsight and life experience and I do know that when I finally find that special person that I'm looking for that my next relationship will be the one which lasts forever, until then I'm just going to keep throwing love at the world in life and in business because what you give out, you most definitely get back.

When real life gets you down...

This past year has been a whirlwind of highs and huge lows, for someone with bi-polar there have been a couple of occasions when I have really had to fight as hard as I could to make sure I maintained my mental health as best I could and luckily (touch all of the wood in the house) I seem to have survived it much more unscathed than I would have thought possible.

I think I possess this wonderful ability which I've been cultivating since I first read The Secret in early 2008, I'd launched my business on June 22nd 2007 and I'd been lucky enough to shoot some weddings in the first 6 months, I duly raised my prices and work failed to come in...at all, my first winter in business and also Pauls first winter as a gardener and I'm not ashamed to admit that I remember one particular week when we had £30 and that was before we bought food for us all, when we both went into business on the same day at the same time we didn't feel we had anything to lose and we were incredibly green and wild eyed in our assumptions so I found myself at the end of January 2008 wavering on depression, I asked for some advice and a fellow photographer (who shall remain nameless) told me in no uncertain terms that I should just give up now, there was nothing good about my work and he was only telling me to be helpful and straight down the line.  I don't quite know how it happened though, someone pointed me towards the Secret and at the start of February 2008 I gave my vow of absolute positivity to the universe and I can honestly say it's changed my life.

You may not believe in The Secret or its teachings, you may think that the laws of attraction are all complete bunkum but never question the fact that being positive even in the face of much adversity is a life saver and I think we all know by now I have been at the face of adversity many many times in the last 8 years but I am so proud to say that my business will be 8 whole years old on the 22nd June 2015, I think I may need to celebrate for still being here and retaining some kind of sanity. 

My business has been the one constant in a world of change and it's given me something to focus on even in the toughest times.  i'm not ashamed to say that when Paul left I lost my zest and love for the business I'd curated and built with such passion but I'm happy to say that I rediscovered my love, just like falling in love over again with a person I fell in love with my business again, I saw it with new eyes and renewed passion and it's changed the way I do things ultimately for the better.  I'm still rebuilding my wedding photography business, I know these things take time because you're always booking a year or more in advance but I know I'll get there and my portraiture business just goes on to grow and thrive with every day as does my blog, this place where I mind dump and write with passion and love and sometimes with questions or even moments of anger, this wonderful outlet I have is read by sometimes nearly 20,000 people in a month, that is a crazy sounding figure, can you imagine if you were all in a room together (having cake, obviously)?  That would be quite a party!  I also recently became a director of The Inspire Network, the amazing NE network of over 4500 entrepreneurial women and I continue to be a mentor for Virgin Startup.  So when I do get down, I remind myself of just how much achieved, gone is the woman who once stood in the street with no shoes not even understanding where she was and for that I'll always be truly thankful.

I want to finally just say one thing, if you are my friends, my clients, my future clients, a regular blog reader or a first time reader today (hello you!) then thank you because I couldn't do any of it without you!

Until Monday you can purchase a voucher valid for 12 months for a 1 hour photo shoot with 12x8 print for only £25 instead of £40, just drop me an email and I'll sort that out for you.

The Thursday Ten....

Ten random bits of info from life, business and all that today....

1. I made a bride cry yesterday, don't worry too much though it was Kerry who had come to view her wedding photographs after returning from honeymoon in Egypt. She was overwhelmed and I kind of have to admit it made me cry too. I'm so delighted that they love their photos and it's great to know you've done a good job, not hard though when you've as much passion as I have as well as having such amazing wonderful and lovely clients!

2. I just heard that Patrick Swayze has cancer, oh my such awful sad news, i know he isn't a reader of my blog (well not that i know of) but I'm sending positive thoughts his way, he's the first guy I ever had a serious crush on and what he could do with those hips in Dirty Dancing... I really hope he can beat it.

3. Just received the new Take That in Concert DVD, busy watching it at the moment, Hello Boys :D

4. We went to school this morning to see Abigails class assembly, it was all about the victorians and I enjoyed watching Abigail using a mangle.

5. I have portrait photography sessions booked in for dates up until the middle of June, if you want to book one please don't wait around too long or you may have a very long wait, you can call me to book on the number above or you can click through to my website.

6. Did you know that I own a craft forum? lots of fun things going on over there at the moment, check us out at Craft.

7. I've just bought a book called "The Secret" I know it's been around for ages but I'm looking forward to reading it, it's about changing your life through the power of positive thought, something I am already trying to do on a daily basis, I look forward to seeing how this book enhances those thoughts, full book report when I'm done!

8. Having lots of fun running a photo scavenger hunt over on UKScrappers right now, 3 words once a week, why not come and join in and learn a little more about photography. I had the idea when I was joining in a photo scavenger hunt with some other incredibly talented wedding photographers over on DWF, if you're a photographer and weddings are your business you really should think about treating yourself to a Pro membership and if you're just starting out then why not join DWF start.

9. Have you added me to your Facebook yet? I love having lots of Facebook friends, come and join me on the greatest community on the internet.

10. Wedding season is approaching and I'm so excited for all my lovely brides and grooms, I'm having so much fun doing all your pre-wedding shoots, You know I love Love!!