Monday came and went in a flash,  Hollys morning constitutional seemed to stretch through the afternoon and before I knew it the girls arrived home from their first day back at school and Harriet arrived for dinner, it was lovely to be back in the swing of Monday night's open house until Looby had a huge teen meltdown overhearing someone chewing (she has misophonia) and went screaming to bed and that was the last I saw of her, she did briefly make an appearance but only to tell me how much she hated me, everyone and the world entire.

My usual Monday night Skype dates have returned with Mr France after a couple of weeks of having to move them around to accommodate Christmas etc, I like Monday nights with Mr F, it gets my week off to a brilliant start and he usually manages to inspire blog posts throughout the week, he is very much my muse, I write better, more consistently and with more passion than I ever did before we bumped into each other across the internet.  Apparently, he still doesn't think I'm real, though, I'm just the lovely lady who lives in his phone and his laptop, I've told him he can pinch me to check that I'm real at the end of the month when we're both together at a lovely luxury hotel in Chiswick.  I've also mentioned I might be just a little over-excited about this!

Tonight we went shopping together and although I can't tell you what for because I was helping him with a blog thing what I can tell you is that, there was a certain amount of magicalness and serendipity to the evening just as there always is, I'm not sure how it happens but I think it's probably just that we're the same kind of crazy, bonkers and we get each other, we really are 'just us'.

Somewhere during the shopping, we were chatting about our upcoming weekend away and blog things leading up to that and we thought it might be quite a nice idea to interview him for my blog so dear readers, I'm wondering what kind of things we should ask him, I'm going to write some questions but is there anything that you the reader want to know?  Before you ask "Who are you?" I can promise you will find out but he's going to blog about that after our weekend away, once he's checked I really am a living breathing actual person and not just a projection of his consciousness that appears online whenever he's around.

So here and now, what can we ask him to get to know him better?  He really is a very interesting guy and very much multifaceted with lots of tales to tell.  But what do you want to know about this darling, diminutive dad who has captured my heart?  I am so delighted that he's not only agreed to do this but he might have been the one who suggested it although I think I mentioned it in passing, I guess that's one of the wonderful things about us, the collaboration, the fantastical ideas, life is pretty stupendous.

What I will say is that 3 weeks isn't so long to wait and yet every hour of the day seems to be creeping by so slowly, testament to the fact of just how excited I actually am, I guess these moments of wonder just don't happen that often and even less so when you are a woman in her fourth decade, I do keep joking about the fact that I'm a cougar being a little over 8 years older than him but everyone knows that women in their 40's well, we really have got our heads, lives and hearts in check and under control, we are forthright, confident and not ageing too badly (thankfully), my body may be a bit of a write off but my mind is still fully intact and the last time I looked my face hadn't fallen off just yet.

There is just one thing, when Mr F and I chat on Skype on Mondays, he always appears a little dark, shadowy and sometimes just a little blurry, I apparently am usually just out of sync leading him to laugh hilariously when my mouth doesn't match with my voice and despite reassuring him that I'm not actually the same in real life, I guess he just wants to make extra sure  before coming out of the French armoire!

Leave your suggestions for questions below and I'll post his interview next week hopefully!

New Year, New Diet, New Me!

For the last week or so I've been feeling really tired and sluggish, the Christmas excess has truly hit me and last week when we went for our first 10k walk of the year I knew I had to get back to living much more healthily again.

Although I have no regrets about leaving Slimming World because I managed to maintain most of my 3.5 stone weight loss, I have now put on around a stone just basically because I love cake too much and the weather has been rubbish, at least I'm honest!

At my thinnest, I was still curvy and that's all I want to be so here and now it's time to get back to being healthy Mandy, it still irks me a little that I completed Couch to 5K and then promptly stopped but that's me, I like a challenge and when I've completed something I move on, plus if I'm honest I think I can burn just as many calories from a good dog walk.

Harriet also feels she wants to get back onto a healthy lifestyle program and I find that these things work better when you have support, she says Slimming World worked for her and so we're going to try a new group on a new day and I'll just adapt it by cutting down on sugar without replacing it with artificial sweeteners something I feel quite strongly about.

There's also the fact that the enzyme I lack which makes me alcohol intolerant is also affected by too much sugar so I'll be turning to books like Lean in 15, Davina's Smart Carbs and her new book, Sugar Free in a hurry which I've just ordered, when I was sugar free I can't tell you how well I felt, I could partake of the occasional glass of wine without worry, I had super skinny legs and I was ten levels above bouncy, yes it's probably time to go and break out the Agave Nectar, it's the only sugar substitute I actually love and it tastes great when you make a baked rice pudding with almond or coconut milk.

Look, I'm going, to be honest, I doubt I'll be giving up cake in all of its glory but if I can get it down to once a week and then maybe my own cake made with brown flour and honey or maple syrup then that can't be such a bad thing can it?!

What I won't be doing is swapping to skimmed milk and sunflower spread or Frylight, if you have ever looked at the ingredients in some of those things, well let's just say I believe you're far better having butter from grass fed cows, whole organic milk and cooking with olive oil if you can't dry fry.

With regards to exercise it's simply going to be a matter of getting out there for more 10k walks with Holly Bobbins and maybe the occasional 5k run a couple of times a month, I'm going to start again with the running and see when I find my boredom level, I think it's possibly somewhere around the 4k but if I can run from my house to Jesmond Dene, across Armstrong Bridge and back it's around 4-5k and with headphones in listening to bouncy music which makes your stride a little wider then that's not a bad thing.  If I can drag Harriet on some epic walkies with me too, well then that's half of the battle as you don't notice how far you are walking when you are with your best friend having a good chinwag!

And so, my plan to get back to happier, fitter, slinkier, bouncier me is underway and with a trip to London at the end of the month to visit Mr France, well that's just a little extra in the motivation station, if you are undertaking any kind of lifestyle changes then do comment and we can all supoort one another, lets all get fabulous in time for spring!

Today On "My Mum" A Blog by Abigail Aged 14.5

My lovely daughter of who I am supremely proud and adore more than cake and chocolate (no, really, it's possible) asked if she could write a guest blog for me, I could hardly refuse and so here it is, please if you ever meet me, don't ask me to repeat the dance....

"It is universally accepted that all teenagers will come to a time where they hate one or both of their parents. I am not one to break this norm however, I may have reached this period earlier than most! It seemed that the second I turned 13 I began hating my mother with a passion.   

Now at 14, almost 15, I am taking this time to reflect. What would have irritated and agitated me a year ago I now laugh at?  This laughter and mockery has become what I have begun calling "Today on my mum" moments. These moments are so full of embarrassment and surprise that it would be a crime to deny them to the world any longer! 

For the first time, you will all see how truly bonkers and weird my mother really is, though I expect many of you will not be surprised. 

To begin let's delve into what I have decided to call "The unfortunate tale of a mother in Scarborough"

It was a lovely day, we were just coming to the end of our activities (and money), so decided to go for some ice cream at a very well-loved ice cream parlour before a longish trip back to Newcastle. 

It's important to note that during the day I and Laura had been repetitively performing a small dance that we found online. It was super simple! Remember that! This dance was super simple and could've been performed by a goldfish! 

We managed to get our mum to 'perform' the small dance.I regret my choices! It was going fairly ok until the final move, a simple move. "Put your arms out and pull your body forward" is what we said to do. My mother did not quite do this, and so, in the full view of the ice cream parlour and the passers-by, she, with confidence, did a very large thrust. Not the move we had expected! What followed was a chorus of shrieking plus uncontrollable laughter! We were subjected to many, many worried looks. The only words I could think to say were "ah, today on my mother" which only fueled the fire and caused more laughter. I can safely say she has not thrust lately.  

That day also stuck out for another reason as in the car on the way home I happened to ask if she had taken her medication, she hadn't! Funnily enough, though I didn’t really care! This was the first time in possibly 10 years I had seen my mum actually laugh! Not a forced laugh but a genuine, heartfelt laugh. Of course, I was worried that she hadn't taken her medication but it was more of an afterthought! Now she is the happiest I've EVER seen her and I'm very much looking forward to having many laughs with her in the future. 

This was the first true "Today on my mother moment" (and arguably one of the best yet!). 

I hope you enjoyed this little jaunt we've had and that you’ve become just a little bit more aware on the weirdo that is my mother! 

Yours, a very opinionated and often stroppy teenager, 

Holly Bobbins - Photograph Hater

It's the weekend and so Mama said I could write on her blog, she's translating from Beaglease which explains my perfect English again but I wanted to take this opportunity to get some things off my chest, my mama calls herself a photographer, she's quite good at it actually until she starts pointing her camera/phone at me, apparently she needs lots of photos of us together and then some of me on my own, as much as she tries to explain about family and history, I just don't understand the need for her incessantly pointing the blooming thing at me.  I'd like to walk you through just a few of her ridiculous beagle selfie (as she calls them) moments and perhaps by the time we get to the end you will leave comments telling Mama she needs to stop this ridiculous photo taking thing!

I'm on the way to work with Mama and I'm looking out of the window pretending not to notice she's pointing that camera at me

Mama has been out for New years Eve, I am too busy guarding us to be in photos

Mama has been out at too many Christmas parties this week and I'm not happy about it at all

"Oh for goodness sake, let's just get it over with quickly again can we, I have sleeping to do"

"Oh yes, I like the KT dog and it means that mama is temporarily distracted, KT always smiles in photos, she's a show dog you know"

"Mama took me to her Inspire meeting again, I love the Inspire Ladies and I love the snuggles from all of the ladies but no one mentioned photos"

"The woman is a menace, look at that grin, I hope she's going to pay me in biscuits"

"Why, Why, Why Mama?  You're wearing your pyjamas and you still want photos"

"I can't even..."

"Let's not talk about this shall we, let's just move it to the side, press the delete button and never speak of it again"

"Oh black and white, yeah, mama, arty, lets just go with that shall we?"

"Why on earth do I need photos with my human sisters, they see me nearly every day"

"Oh for goodness sake, I'm a puppet, a posing puppet, she'll be having me busking for spare change next"

"I was having a lovely time with Auntie Harriet until Mama came to pick me up and insisted on having a photo because she hadn't seen me for 2 whole days, honestly, I don't get paid enough for this"

And so dear mama's readers, all you need to do is leave a comment asking Mama to stop this infernal practice and I'm sure she'll listen although I think she might be subjecting me to beagle selfies for many years yet, excuse me while I go and throw up in the corner or eat all her swucculent swocks...

Mr France, The Magical Centaur

It's 9 am, it's dark and rainy, I'm holed up in my bedroom, still cosy underneath my Christmas bedding with summer light patterned sheets and outside the rain threatens to fall at any given moment, it's January, it's damp and the light levels are perpetually low, usually at this time of year I start to feel the pangs of seasonally affected disorder.  There's just one thing, this year I didn't have any post-Christmas blues, I haven't been hit by any great overwhelming urge to hibernate, well no more than I usually do and yesterday I went out for my first big 10k walk of the year!  It was a joyous affair with Looby and her best friend, Holly Bobbins loved every second, granted she still managed to be what I'd like to describe as a big fat barky pants when I was Skyping Mr France last night but that's kind of normal.

Whenever Mr France and I Skype Holly has a weird reaction, I'm sure that she recognises his voice but she can't quite work out where he is so she barks and barks and then she gets bored and goes to sleep, hopefully when they meet it means she'll just wag her tail a lot and she'll love him to bits, I'm sure she will, anyone with even a grain of sense adores Mr F, he's the sweetest, kindest, loveliest man, Looby spoke to him last night and I do believe he even stuck up for her and said I should have let her build a fort in my living room, ok, maybe next time I will, she apparently made one in her bedroom and then cleared it properly although I never saw it so I can't be entirely sure!

I do love that Looby thinks Mr F is a magical centaur, it's a big relief when you meet someone and your teenagers approve, she was even heard to be telling her best friend all about him yesterday, suffice to say I'm sure if he comes to Newcastle this year (which I truly hope he will) I don't think I'm going to have any problems introducing him to anyone I know because kids, friends, everyone who's spoken to him thinks he's just right for me.

Last night we were talking and I was telling him how much I love telling our story when all is said and done it's truly beautiful and unique, I don't know anyone else who's met in the same way as us, if you are reading this and you have however do get in touch as I'd love to hear from other people and maybe share their stories too (with permission of course) maybe we could do some happy relationship stories in time for Valentines Day?  

I may have rambled a little (I'm well known for it, ask Mr F) and digressed from my initial point which was that it's the first year I can remember where I have entered the year with so much hope and excitement for the future, my walk yesterday with Looby and her best friend felt magical and joyous, it did end up costing me a lunch and a Starbucks in bribery to make sure they stayed happy for the whole 10K but it was a pleasure just to feel the winter sunshine on my face and that gorgeous golden glow of the light which we always get around this time of year.  the days may be currently short but when we get beautiful sunny ones, the light is the most special you'll ever see, by the time we got home from our walk the hues of orange and red made the whole of the world pretty as the sun dipped it's head behind the horizon as it climbed into bed for it's longer winters nap, I adore the long heady days of summer but this year I am taking the pleasure and joy in the every day, something to hold up high and cherish.

We have so many moments in our life and we cannot remember them all, that's why I write in the way that I do so that I can look back and remember some of them, sometimes there are small pleasures in the minutiae of our daily lives and it's only when we can look back at a later date that we remember just how defining and life changing some of them were.  I don't know where you started when I embarked on this great adventure with Mr France, maybe you were there on that first day when I put my dating profile on my blog, or the first time I described him as Mr France, maybe you came along to find our story half way and have followed some of our weekly Skype dates?   Whenever you first came by to read our story, I hope you'll stick around because this, right here, is just the very start of something very special.

How I Became Just Me, Whimsical, Happy, Me

All of my life I wanted to be accepted for who I really am, in business, in life, and in a relationship, you see, for a long time I was a bit of a star shaped peg trying to squeeze myself into a square hole, I would adapt to each situation I was in trying to be the person that the other person wanted me to be, after a while I really wasn't sure who I was anymore.  I would go so far as to say that 10 years ago I really didn't have any idea who I was.

Now let me say that constantly trying to reinvent yourself might work for Madonna but I found the whole process exhausting, I would be one thing to the couples I would meet to try and book their weddings, another to my family portraiture clients, another at home, another online... you get the picture, it was I suppose that I found I was only really myself when I was alone with my thoughts or with my kids or my oldest friends who had known me through everything, people like Darren, Steve and Ron, people who've known me for nearly 20 years, friends I am truly thankful for.

Over the last 10 years I have bent and moulded and wavered and suffered many crises of confidence, I would get to parts of my life where I thought I was me and yet my anxiety would punch holes in my chest because I was still frightened of not being accepted and then one fateful day in 2014 when everything changed, perhaps before that, perhaps it caused the fateful event but I can't put my finger on it exactly, somewhere though I started to become me, I still have the anxiety but not that you would notice on most days, I guess I'm still blagging it just a little on those days where anxiousness gets me and confidence is not my friend but we'll not tell anyone, it's just between you and me.

If you meet me today, you can guarantee one thing, I will be the same in real life as I am online, I will be exactly the same in my business as I am with my friends because who doesn't love a whimsical photographer and really, I mainly photograph small people and their families, it's totally acceptable. The wedding clients I do book or who book me embrace the whimsy because they know it will lead to something special, a completely unique interpretation of their love, their day, their story, it's only a true romantic after all who can shoot a wedding with as much love as I do.

I'm lucky now, I have friends who embrace and encourage my whimsical side, they know it's the very best of me, I laugh a lot, sometimes until I fall over, I have magical adventures both in real life and inside my own head and I gallop, twirl, wander, and skip through the days with joy.

Most of all, though, I have met a man who accepts me just as I am, I'd even go so far as to say he thinks I'm pretty brilliant, yes, me, just me, it's very enlightening, and completely and utterly magical and I, in turn, think he's amazing just as he is, he said our motto should be "Just Us" and I wanted to write this down so it becomes my history, I've never been with someone like Mr F before, someone who just accepts all of the good bits as well as the not so good bits and you know what, this is what we should all do, we all need to find people who accept us just as we are and I know this might sound harsh but if you ever feel that you can't be yourself, then maybe it's a sign that those people are not your people, your tribe, your squad or even your other half.

Go find someone who will embrace your very essence and then promise that you will celebrate that every day because as I said just yesterday, finding the joy in the every day is almost certainly the path to true happiness.

Today I'm Grateful...

I awoke with a start this morning, a knock on the door, only when I ran down to answer it in my half sleep, half awake state there was no one there, once again my dreams predicted a delivery that wasn't quite ready in the real world.

I haven't blogged for a few days, I've had a blogging rest and then there's also the fact that I'm very much sitting here typing somewhat encumbered by the dressings on my left hand, I had a bit of a disagreement with a Jamón knife yesterday leading to 2 hours in the walk-in centre, and a bit of a blue peter repair of sticking me back together, I have to go back again tomorrow for clean dressings and my usually Flash like fingers are typing at a much slower, more fat-fingered pace than usual. 

Whilst I looked on enviously when everyone finished work and school earlier than us, I'm now smiling smugly that the girls aren't back to school until Monday and so I'm actually going to get to spend some time with my gorgeous daughters this week, the very festive and social Miss Charlton's have been so busy that I've seen them less than when they are at school, we shall be binge watching Harry Potter today to make up for it.

Yesterday, though, I was grateful for Looby and the first aid skills I didn't even know she possessed, after trying plasters which just laughed at my bloody lacerations she fashioned some dressings from our now much depleted first aid kit and waved me off to the walk-in centre, I'm also grateful that the battery on the iPhone7 Plus is stupendous, I never have to worry about running out of charge during the day now, I used it solidly to pass the time whilst I waited to be stuck back together.  One other joyful thing I'm super grateful for is Mr France and his hilarious silly humour getting me through the two-hour wait with much laughter, medical centres are lonely miserable places to sit and wait in, especially on bank holidays when everyone seems to be ill or having accidents, I felt dreadful for wasting time but the nurse was so lovely and confirmed that it wasn't something I could have dealt with at home, on my own, without glue and strips and dressings so another thing I am definitely grateful is the fact that in our country we still have the NHS and walk-in centres a short walk away on busy bank holiday afternoons.

I've practised gratitude for several years now, of course, I always fall off a little during the dark grumpy days when I selfishly hide away not remembering how much more splendid my life is than the less unfortunate, we all do it from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that, it's the human condition after all, "Why God, Why Me?" we lament, often holding our fists to the heavens but it's at those moments when we need to take a moment to breathe and count our blessings, I am so lucky in my life right now, I have the best friends, amazing teenagers, wonderful pets, a great job and of course Mr F who expects nothing of me other than to be just me and I in turn only ever expect him to be just him as he is.

So today, in the dark January day when you are going back to work and the traffic is bad, your lunch is horrible or your boss is mean and grumpy, just take a moment to think about all of the good things in your life right now, see if you can make yourself smile because if you can smile then you're on the path to being happy, really happy and extremely content.