Late Sunday afternoon and I've just got home from my weekend in London, a first real life (as opposed to Skype) date with Martyn, my brain is kind of scrambled, it's been a bit of a full on 24 hours  and I promised Martyn I wouldn't write a blog post where a flock of unicorn seagulls lifted us high on clouds whilst bluebirds sang, I'm sure you would have read it anyway and all clapped wildly but I promised that I would be real and write from my heart and with my head just as he told me he's going to do and that means taking off the rose tinted glasses and that's hard for someone who is by her own admission a bohemian romantic.

So here's some facts about Martyn, he's 34, a single dad, blogger, he's got facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy which is life limiting and he's also got dependent personality disorder, he's a genius, an actual genius, he plays 13 instruments but not the harp (I know, disappointing, right?), he home educates his 2 sons, he teaches piano, he's kind, funny and on an attraction level, my face definitely likes his face.  He blogs about his disability and his mental health (as well as many other things) and since he came into my life he's helped me become more real and I've blogged more about my own mental health.  We as writers need to put this out there, we need to help people talk about mental health and we need to encourage people who might be feeling helpless that even if you are messed up in the head that it's ok, you can be brilliant and funny, you can be entrepreneurial, most importantly you can live a life where you own your shit and just carry on, carrying on, living your life in the best way that you can.

I want to jump now to something I believe about relationships and dating, something I've always believed.  I'm lucky to have experienced good relationships and bad through my own experiences, that of others and through my work I'm always humbled to share the moments from others relationships at the most poignant moments in their lives, I've seen true love in all of its glory and I've known hurt, betrayal and had my heart broken and shattered into a million tiny pieces.

I think in the best relationships you always see a great combination of friendship plus the spark of attraction, the chances are if you want to rip someone's clothes off after 5 minutes on the very first date then it's just going to be lust which will die out after a month or possibly turn into something darker.  I've never been into the whole lust based thing because I don't want my life to be full of quick passionate relationships, I realise they work for some but essentially I start by looking for friendship and this is something Martyn and I have established over the last 3 months with messages and our once weekly Skype dates, we have laughed a lot and talked about more serious things and I'm pretty sure I could talk to him about anything.  When we met up yesterday it was just easy, I'd had my nervous half hour before he arrived but that was mostly due to hoping he wouldn't be a serial killer after I'd travelled the length of the country on a train surrounded by snoring black men, falafel eating mummies, smelly footed youths with their shoes off and an old man with a sheepdog, my cancelled earlier train meant a comedy journey of epic proportions, no wonder I was anxious!

I'm not a flirt, I am rubbish at it, always have been, always will be, I like laughing and talking and I like people who are smart and also people who'll not mind so much that I can't flirt.  It's on first dates that I always make sure that I kiss my date, if they don't want to kiss me, it's always a fail because I'll never know if there's a spark and if they kiss me and it's like kissing cardboard, well then that's also a fail because you need a spark, it's the difference between friendship and a potential relationship.  My point here is Martyn and I spent about 7 hours together having dinner, laughing, just being friends and when I walked him to his car at midnight we kissed (I should have perhaps just done this earlier but at the age I am, I always feel a bit uptight about public displays of affection) and, (remember, just the facts) we both felt a spark, a big spark, I said "wow" and I'm going, to be honest, we woke up together this morning!

So, what happens now? Martyn went off home to process his thoughts as did I, a smoother train journey home and I smiled a lot!  Martyn is a complicated enigma and to be fair so am I, you get two messed up people together and they either fix each other's broken pieces or they're just two messed up people messing each other up, I rather hope it's a Deadpool scenario and I do think that my crazy matches his crazy but it's still early days really.  I'm going back to London at the end of March for another date (seriously, how much easier would it be if he lived in Killingworth instead of Kent) and in the meantime, we'll continue to message and Skype each other.

What I want to do now is only write what's real and true so I'm afraid for you unicorn loving readers you might miss out on the whimsy (dang it, I nearly managed a blog post without mentioning it).  If anything strikes me I'll no doubt write but I think we need to be allowed to just go and find out ourselves if this has a chance of working without the expectation of half of the internet (as lovely as you all are and I want to thank you all so much for being there every step of the way).  Human relationships are hard, some work, some don't, some are honest and some are not, some are kind and some are harsh, some are imaginary and some are real and there are no magic formulae to make sure it works even if you want it to with all of your heart so you just have to be true to yourself, open your heart and try to be real and honest.  What I do know In my heart is that I think we have the chance of something which could be bright and shiny, even if it is just a couple of half broken silver spoons lying in a muddy puddle on a moonlight night.

Whatever happens now, we'll always remember London...

Meeting Mr France - 7 Day's To Go

Don't you ever wish that for each perfect moment in life you had some prior warning so you could record it in your mind, the moments that we are the happiest are often forgotten at the time and it's not until we are flatter and more introspective that we realise that it was that moment, that pinnacle that we felt the happiest we'd ever felt in our whole entire lives, I think hindsight is a blessing and a curse.

I went in search of the first conversation I'd ever had with Mr France on Twitter, I know it wasn't too long after I'd published my dating article on my blog and I know there were early discussions about Moulin Rouge and also him sending me cakes but the weird thing about Twitter is that everything gets a bit lost and complicated, twice I've had to ask him for his address because it's impossible to find 54 direct messages later, it does seem a shame then that it's there, written down and recorded in history but it's ridiculously hard to decipher, I can't imagine my descendants wading through that, I wonder what they would think anyway if they came across two people discussing the creation of a musical about a Koala or the production of a TV show where the Chuckle Brothers are introduced to 3 angry seagulls (TV Gold), I do know however that some of our most joyous conversations are by far the more absurd and ridiculous ones.  I remember on our first Skype date that I'd just relaxed and fell into myself 4 hours in and telling him my greatest fears one of them being bananas because they're sinister and suspicious, I should have known by the fact that he didn't run away at that point that he was as crazy bonkers as me.

We're 3 months in now and our first real date is in a week, without a doubt, I've had my greatest whimsical adventures in conversation with Mr France, I'd have to hope that in person it's even better, I can get a little tongue-tied in the presence of men I find attractive, in fact, I'd go so far as to say I can't speak to them, I literally lose my voice, now I haven't thus far with Mr F because it's been Skype, I just hope face to face I don't come across like a blabbering idiot but if I do then, Mr F, if you are reading, it's only because you're my kind of hot 😉

I think this week I'll have much excitement and many panic-stricken moments as I worry about our first date but it's only because I want it to be wonderful and I don't want to make an idiot out of myself and I don't want to disappoint him, I'm sure he's having the same exact thoughts, maybe it wouldn't be so terrifying if we hadn't spent a lot of time Skyping and we only lived around the corner so we went for a quick coffee, actually no, I know what would have happened then, I suspect I would have still been there 3 days later talking about writing a new detective show where he solves crimes whilst I assist wearing a ballgown.

I want to tell you now that Mr F isn't perfect, he has his faults just as I do, he can be grumpy, he's terribly forgetful and he's so clever that some of the low-level stuff completely surpasses his brain, he has as many issues like the rest of us , I write about him like he's a superhero because isn't that the way we should all be written about, like photographs, it should be the very best version of ourselves and I'm sure that I'll complain about him at length in the future, I am an honest blogger and this is my diary after all but this brings me back to the point I opened with, pressing record, because at the start of any new adventure, especially dating, you have that window where you only see each other as magical figureheads or Grecian Gods and Goddesses (I should be so lucky) so it's good to write it down this time, I want to make sure I capture those thoughts and feelings so that when the challenges hit I can revisit them and with 2 months between our first and second real life date I feel there are times when I'll just stop by and remind myself of a beautiful beginning.

Who Are You Mr France, The 11 Questions You want to know

It's Tuesday evening (only just) and I've just climbed into bed after what will forever be remembered as a bad day made better by Skyping Mr France, I love that Looby just came and plonked herself down for a while and chatted to him tonight, it's kind of weird but good weird if you know what I mean.

I'd been feeling horrendous due to the withdrawal from Reboxetine, I have every withdrawal symptom on the list and there was a point today when I was weeping over a Toblerone for some unknown reason, even tweets today have made me teary and add to that feeling jittery, anxious and having 17 million purple sparkly (I'd imagine) crawly things running all over your body whilst feeling like you're wearing invisible giant mittens and having electric shocks every 30 seconds and that's pretty much how Tuesday, at one point I'd even decided that I wasn't going to Skype Mr F tonight because he shouldn't have to deal with me but I also know he understands and really he did, we talked about some serious stuff tonight, not all of it was the most fun subjects but that is us, it's usually absurd to deadly serious back to absurd or laughing at each other or with each other. Anyway, I managed to gently prod (imagine a fully charged fluffy cattle prod) Mr F for his answers to our questions and without further ado, here's my interview with Mr France.

1. Lisa from Little Orange Dog asks are your friends all as crazy bonkers as you are?

Imaginary ones that talk to me or real life? I think that answers that. 

2. Tracy from Hooks and Dragons asks if you could host a dinner party for 5 people past and present, who would they be and why?

Four of them would be my comedy favourites.

1. Norman Wisdom. He's not only hilarious but a musical mastermind. 

2. Kenneth Williams. Deep, emotional and brilliantly funny. 

3. Ronnie Barker. Do I need to explain why for him?

4. Hattie Jacques. She was beautiful, funny and personally, could produce a look that would have perfect comic timing. 

5. My Mum. She always loved the above. She was my the person to introduce these old time comedians and prompted the things I find funny and built my humour the way it is. So I could share the funniest favourites with me. 

3. If you could visit any place in time and space which would it be and why?

I'd like to travel 100 years into the future and meet my descendants. 

4. What's your favourite version of you in the multiverse and why?

The one where I have perfect hair and it doesn't take me ages to sort it. It has a mind of its own! Imagine the free time I would have not faffing around with it. I could solve so many problems in that time. 

5. Harriet asks Are you an African Prince?

Ek kan nie vir jou sê, want ek die geheim Wet onderteken

6. What is your favourite song and why?

It's a split between 

Everyday by Buddy Holly. Just makes me happy.

Have you ever seen the rain by credence clearwater revival? It encompasses the hard days.

7. Name 5 things that make you happy

My children. 

Drawing. 

Reading. 

Playing the piano

Teaching

8. What is your philosophy in life?

"It's better to be a live dog than a dead lion"

9. If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would they be?

To eat whatever I liked without gaining weight. 

To be taller....and before you say it...I'm short it will make a difference! 2 inches would be nice. I'm sure the ladies would agree that an extra 2 inches makes all the difference. 

To be able to transform into various animals

10. What makes you smile without fail?

One of those deep belly laughs that really reaches the soul of a child....especially my own. 

11. Abigail would like to know, if you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

The destruction of wildlife to create and use palm oil. The use of Palm oil is ridiculous. 

And the quickfire round where I asked Mr F not to think too much about the answers

crusts - on or off? On

Crocs - right/wrong? Wrong

Snacks - sweet/savoury? Seriously, it's food, I don't care

Bed - soft/firm? Soft

cats or dogs? Dogs

brains or beauty brains

Marvel or DC? Marvel.....no choice

Romantic or cold hard Pragmatist? I'm somewhere in the middle. 64% romantic maybe

Tea or Coffee? Coffee

Cake or Chocolate? It depends on both. I would choose cheesecake over an orange aero but would choose a dairy milk over a carrot cake

So there you have it, Mr France has spoken, I think he gave some great answers, we're having a tiny fight over Marvel vs DC but only because my favourite superhero is The Flash, we might also fight over cheesecake because I hate chocolate and orange as a flavour but I don't like Dairy Milk so I'll have the carrot cake instead, I am glad we have the same stance on Crocs though, that might have been a fail from the start.

A note to Mr F,

I want to say the biggest thank you for answering all of these questions, especially some of the more ludicrous ones, you've had lots going on and I really appreciate that you took time out to do it, I also want to say something else, something that I couldn't say to your face earlier, or at least I couldn't find the right words, you worry that when people find out who you really are that it will be disappointing and you worry that you are at some point going to disappoint me but we are a couple who met in a weird situation and have the weirdest early relationship I know of but there's nothing of you that I expect that would disappoint me, I read pages and pages and pages of your blog before we started Skyping, possible before we'd even done little more than chatted on Twitter, we have spoken for hours, we talk every day and I'll never expect you to be anything that you are not capable of giving, we laugh together, we discuss, life, the universe and everything in between and I'm sure we'll end up crying together and some days you'll shout and scream and so will I but what we have started with is a really honest trusting friendship where we can talk about anything and where we just get each other, my expectations are only the things that I already know and that is that we are going to have lovely adventures together so removing all of the other stuff, thank you for being a friend who I can trust, a friend who cares and a friend who made the end of my day far better than the start of it

"Mammy, we haven't got a fence anymore"

"Mammy, we haven't got a fence anymore" were the exact words I woke up to this morning at 7am, as I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes and walked to my window I got quite a shock to find that not only did we have no party fence anymore I couldn't even get out of my back door or through my back gate.

Now, let me say I've been a single mum for over 2 years now and I generally have coped pretty well, I don't think there's been a situation I couldn't handle but when it comes to manly tasks or manual things I pretty much fail at life, don't get me wrong, I can garden and I know many of the latin plant names, I know where to put plants for the best light and I adore my garden in the summer, but entire fences falling down are not my speciality.

Anyway, I called someone and some strong men and a lady came and took my fence away, I also placed a call to our council because a tree had fallen outside the front of our house, when I say fallen, I mean the winds had snapped it in two.  Weirdly we never usually have to deal with such things living in the city where we're sheltered from the worst winds so for the winds to have the strength they did to take down a massive fence and a tree is what you could call an unusual predicament.  

My garden is usually the place I love to sit on summer days, I love my little oasis of calm but today it really doesn't look like these photos at all!

When you become a single parent no one gives you a manual for the extra tasks you weren't in charge of, I did ask Mr F if he maybe had that chapter and I'd just missed it but apparently fence repairs and escaping your own garden aren't included as standard.  For the first time this year I had a moment where I wanted to go and hide under a blanket in the corner until it all went away, instead I messaged Mr F and swore at him privately, well not so much at him but sometimes you need someone who cares, no matter how far away they are, it's not about them being able to help or offer advice, it's just about knowing they are there for you and here and now, I am so grateful for him, you see, he's always there, we speak to each other every day, sometimes privately, sometimes publicly, sometimes he'll bring about random uncontrollable laughter in a quiet moment when you least expect it, it's weird that we are so far apart but yet I feel like he's nearer than I have felt to anyone for a very long time, even if he does think that I live in his phone!

So today, I am thankful once more for people who come and rescue you from fallen trees and fences and most of all for Mr F who almost fell into my life accidently from the other side of the internet and yet when I look back now, it's as if he's always been there, he really gets me and I love that I don't have to be anyone else but me when we are "together" which leads me to believe that when we are in actual close proximity it's going to be truly magical.

Put Your Questions to Mr France

Monday came and went in a flash,  Hollys morning constitutional seemed to stretch through the afternoon and before I knew it the girls arrived home from their first day back at school and Harriet arrived for dinner, it was lovely to be back in the swing of Monday night's open house until Looby had a huge teen meltdown overhearing someone chewing (she has misophonia) and went screaming to bed and that was the last I saw of her, she did briefly make an appearance but only to tell me how much she hated me, everyone and the world entire.

My usual Monday night Skype dates have returned with Mr France after a couple of weeks of having to move them around to accommodate Christmas etc, I like Monday nights with Mr F, it gets my week off to a brilliant start and he usually manages to inspire blog posts throughout the week, he is very much my muse, I write better, more consistently and with more passion than I ever did before we bumped into each other across the internet.  Apparently, he still doesn't think I'm real, though, I'm just the lovely lady who lives in his phone and his laptop, I've told him he can pinch me to check that I'm real at the end of the month when we're both together at a lovely luxury hotel in Chiswick.  I've also mentioned I might be just a little over-excited about this!

Tonight we went shopping together and although I can't tell you what for because I was helping him with a blog thing what I can tell you is that, there was a certain amount of magicalness and serendipity to the evening just as there always is, I'm not sure how it happens but I think it's probably just that we're the same kind of crazy, bonkers and we get each other, we really are 'just us'.

Somewhere during the shopping, we were chatting about our upcoming weekend away and blog things leading up to that and we thought it might be quite a nice idea to interview him for my blog so dear readers, I'm wondering what kind of things we should ask him, I'm going to write some questions but is there anything that you the reader want to know?  Before you ask "Who are you?" I can promise you will find out but he's going to blog about that after our weekend away, once he's checked I really am a living breathing actual person and not just a projection of his consciousness that appears online whenever he's around.

So here and now, what can we ask him to get to know him better?  He really is a very interesting guy and very much multifaceted with lots of tales to tell.  But what do you want to know about this darling, diminutive dad who has captured my heart?  I am so delighted that he's not only agreed to do this but he might have been the one who suggested it although I think I mentioned it in passing, I guess that's one of the wonderful things about us, the collaboration, the fantastical ideas, life is pretty stupendous.

What I will say is that 3 weeks isn't so long to wait and yet every hour of the day seems to be creeping by so slowly, testament to the fact of just how excited I actually am, I guess these moments of wonder just don't happen that often and even less so when you are a woman in her fourth decade, I do keep joking about the fact that I'm a cougar being a little over 8 years older than him but everyone knows that women in their 40's well, we really have got our heads, lives and hearts in check and under control, we are forthright, confident and not ageing too badly (thankfully), my body may be a bit of a write off but my mind is still fully intact and the last time I looked my face hadn't fallen off just yet.

There is just one thing, when Mr F and I chat on Skype on Mondays, he always appears a little dark, shadowy and sometimes just a little blurry, I apparently am usually just out of sync leading him to laugh hilariously when my mouth doesn't match with my voice and despite reassuring him that I'm not actually the same in real life, I guess he just wants to make extra sure  before coming out of the French armoire!

Leave your suggestions for questions below and I'll post his interview next week hopefully!

Mr France, The Magical Centaur

It's 9 am, it's dark and rainy, I'm holed up in my bedroom, still cosy underneath my Christmas bedding with summer light patterned sheets and outside the rain threatens to fall at any given moment, it's January, it's damp and the light levels are perpetually low, usually at this time of year I start to feel the pangs of seasonally affected disorder.  There's just one thing, this year I didn't have any post-Christmas blues, I haven't been hit by any great overwhelming urge to hibernate, well no more than I usually do and yesterday I went out for my first big 10k walk of the year!  It was a joyous affair with Looby and her best friend, Holly Bobbins loved every second, granted she still managed to be what I'd like to describe as a big fat barky pants when I was Skyping Mr France last night but that's kind of normal.

Whenever Mr France and I Skype Holly has a weird reaction, I'm sure that she recognises his voice but she can't quite work out where he is so she barks and barks and then she gets bored and goes to sleep, hopefully when they meet it means she'll just wag her tail a lot and she'll love him to bits, I'm sure she will, anyone with even a grain of sense adores Mr F, he's the sweetest, kindest, loveliest man, Looby spoke to him last night and I do believe he even stuck up for her and said I should have let her build a fort in my living room, ok, maybe next time I will, she apparently made one in her bedroom and then cleared it properly although I never saw it so I can't be entirely sure!

I do love that Looby thinks Mr F is a magical centaur, it's a big relief when you meet someone and your teenagers approve, she was even heard to be telling her best friend all about him yesterday, suffice to say I'm sure if he comes to Newcastle this year (which I truly hope he will) I don't think I'm going to have any problems introducing him to anyone I know because kids, friends, everyone who's spoken to him thinks he's just right for me.

Last night we were talking and I was telling him how much I love telling our story when all is said and done it's truly beautiful and unique, I don't know anyone else who's met in the same way as us, if you are reading this and you have however do get in touch as I'd love to hear from other people and maybe share their stories too (with permission of course) maybe we could do some happy relationship stories in time for Valentines Day?  

I may have rambled a little (I'm well known for it, ask Mr F) and digressed from my initial point which was that it's the first year I can remember where I have entered the year with so much hope and excitement for the future, my walk yesterday with Looby and her best friend felt magical and joyous, it did end up costing me a lunch and a Starbucks in bribery to make sure they stayed happy for the whole 10K but it was a pleasure just to feel the winter sunshine on my face and that gorgeous golden glow of the light which we always get around this time of year.  the days may be currently short but when we get beautiful sunny ones, the light is the most special you'll ever see, by the time we got home from our walk the hues of orange and red made the whole of the world pretty as the sun dipped it's head behind the horizon as it climbed into bed for it's longer winters nap, I adore the long heady days of summer but this year I am taking the pleasure and joy in the every day, something to hold up high and cherish.

We have so many moments in our life and we cannot remember them all, that's why I write in the way that I do so that I can look back and remember some of them, sometimes there are small pleasures in the minutiae of our daily lives and it's only when we can look back at a later date that we remember just how defining and life changing some of them were.  I don't know where you started when I embarked on this great adventure with Mr France, maybe you were there on that first day when I put my dating profile on my blog, or the first time I described him as Mr France, maybe you came along to find our story half way and have followed some of our weekly Skype dates?   Whenever you first came by to read our story, I hope you'll stick around because this, right here, is just the very start of something very special.

The continuing adventures of dating Mr France

Me at the Holly Ball 2016

It's late and I'm over emotional, I'm writing this in the dark stillness of the night, the place I use to collect my thoughts when I need to get my head in gear.  I think I have a grumpy liver today and it's shaped most of my day.  Today we have lounged and chilled, I have eaten too much cheese, one too many florentines and I've drunk copious cups of Fortnum and Masons Royal Blend, my liver has been grumpy from too much Christmas excess, Cosmopolitans on Christmas Eve, a bottle of Champagne on Christmas Day and 3 glasses of Prosecco yesterday, maybe that's not a lot for some but it is for me, especially as I have a lack of the enzyme which breaks down the poison in alcohol, I've all but decided to give up alcohol entirely though my doctor tells me I should be ok once a month, so yay for my upcoming birthday! I'll be truthful, though, not drinking alcohol hasn't ever really bothered me, I'd rather give up Champagne than cake though I might miss it on an occasion, I'm just as fun without alcohol, especially when I'm on top form as I have been of late, I am most definitely at my best when I am happy in my heart.

Here's the thing, I am happy in my heart, I genuinely have joy back in my life, it's wonderful and scary and amazing and joyful and terrifying all in the same breath, just having someone say "you look lovely" when you go out for your once yearly ball, it may not be the biggest thing but it's enough.

There really is so much more than you the reader knows of Mr F, to know him thus far is really only half of the story, he is much more amazing than you can imagine, he's crazy bonkers and he's made me laugh so much my sides have hurt, I'm not actually sure why he's not considered a career in comedy but perhaps it was because he was just off being equally brilliant doing other things. I keep telling him that I adore his mind but I'd be lying if I didn't say that he's just my type physically too, I am a big fan of geeky types.  For our weekly date this week we Skyped for a couple of hours and then we watched Jonathan Creek together whilst messaging about who we thought was the perpetrator of the dastardly deed, Now I should point out that Mr F is rather good at solving crimes and would probably beat everyone at Cluedo, you should never watch Murder She Wrote with him for he will tell you who did it before Jessica even so much as gets a look in, I'm not suggesting you should call him in a time of crisis but he's just very good with patterns and general brilliance.

What is lovely is feeling like you are watching TV with someone even when they're not physically next to you, maybe the way in which we met and the way in which we are dating isn't traditional, maybe you're sitting there thinking "oh no, that's just a bit too weird" and yes it is weird, it's weird and wonderful and unexplainable and extraordinary but I get just as excited to see Mr F on Skype every week as I would if we were seeing each other in real life and if you're wondering if I feel frustrated that I can't hold his hand or give him a hug or dare I say, kiss him, well, yeah a bit but not as much as you would think because I know that'll happen, maybe though the way we've chosen is the best way, we get to know each other properly, all of our quirks and foibles are there without the added distraction of being attracted to each other, which of course we are,  I've never been one to take my time in matters of the heart, I'm over-excitable at the best of times and thus being hundreds of miles apart works for that very reason, it gives us both space and time to spend magical moments together whilst still getting on with our own lives, he did say that one day we'll be able to sit on the sofa together and then, just as you would expect, we'll be on our social media still talking to each other and that's something I just can't wait for...

Have Yourself A Cosy Little Christmas

It's 5 am in the morning, the tree lights are twinkling and I'm nursing a large steaming coffee in my favourite unicorn mug, it's way too early to be awake and yet my body has hated even the thought of sleep during December and I can only hope that once the equinox passes later this week that I will start sleeping properly again.

When I do sleep, I have the most comfortable bed in the world, so much so that you'll often find me sitting working on my bed or just lying on it because it's like sleeping in a giant bowl of marshmallows and having every limb cuddled, my neck, the dodgy prolapsed disk hasn't given me any pain since I started sleeping on my Eve mattress and since the Eve Pillows arrived in November I have been fighting with my teenagers as they try to pinch them off me, the fiends, what's weird is for the first time in my life I'm sleeping on one pillow instead of two and when I sit up to read I prop myself up with 2 and it's perfect!!  I really do love sleeping on Eve (not a euphemism)

I would like to also state that up until December I slept like a virtual log every night, it's just December every year that likes to mess with me, it's almost certainly a combination of the approaching equinox, the bad light levels, the excitement that Christmas is coming and the usual, "what the heck am I going to do over winter" question that I pose myself each year!

For anyone tuning in to find out what's happening with Mr France, well we didn't Skype last night but we're Skyping tonight instead, I'm very happy and I'm going to take a presumptuous stab in the dark and suggest that the feeling is mutual, what's been really fun is seeing friends and other bloggers and them all asking me #whoismrfrance the hashtag has reached over 200,000 I think now, I never intended it to happen like that, it's almost the worst kept secret on the internet but I usually refuse to confirm or deny although my good friends, my best girlfriends, they all know and they already love him because they know how happy I am, I've definitely been in super sparkly, bouncy Mandy mode and nothing has made me grumpy for ages actually, not that I was the queen of grumpy before you'll understand but well, it's just nice to be liked by someone of the opposite sex again, especially someone as fabulous as Mr France

I've been feeling somewhat reflective over these last few days and wondering if I should come up with some kind of yearly round up post, it's been such an amazing year, don't get me wrong there have been tough times and challenges, I think when you put single parenting into the mix with self-employment that's always bound to happen but I've made it to the end of another year, we all have, my fabulous teenagers and I, I should say that Iain isn't, of course, a teenager any longer but it's just easier to call him one than say he's going to be 21 next year, I'm not even sure how that can be possible!! 

I still have much to do before Sunday, my quest to do the Peter Kaye style big shop yesterday rather ended up in much hilarity, oh I spent the budget but came home with a Jamón, a lovely Christmas dress and some new fabulous underwear, not entirely sure what we'll eat over the next couple of weeks but hey ho, a man is due today with a box of veg and another man is due with some Christmas meat, oh and another man is due with my iPhone7 plus, but shush, I know you can't eat that either!

I don't know what's going to happen with blogging over Christmas, writing is my therapy, something to do late at night or early in the morning when there's just me and the sound of my fingers tapping away speedily on the keyboard, whilst I'm sort of taking a break from the business of photography for a few days, I'm not sure how long I can go without writing something and as Mr France says, if I don't write about him people will start to wonder if he's disappeared, I think he just likes reading about himself superhero style and knowing exactly what's going on in my mind, but shush, don't tell him I said that!!

Whatever you do over the next few days, may it be smooth running, may you remember to smile lots and maybe take just a moment or two to reflect on what Christmas really means, I know I'll be doing exactly that.  Until next time dear friends...

So I went on a Skype Date...

I'll let you into a secret, I have a phone phobia, I hate using the phone and if anyone calls me other than my children and Harriet, I usually avoid picking it up!  The thought of having a conversation on Skype was more than a little terrifying and the thought of a Skype date was possibly one of the scariest things I've ever done, I was so nervous and probably more rambly than ever to start with, I could feel my heart beating way faster than it should have been, I'd propped my Macbook up on a box on the kitchen table to eliminate double chins because if you sit and speak to someone and your laptop is on your lap, well that's not a great angle at all is it?!

Of course, I needn't have worried, not even a bit, I think Mr France was more worried about how I would react to his charmingly bohemian beard in virtual real life, he calls it scruffy, I think it just adds character.  If I had to describe Mr France right now I'd say he's got one of those friendly smiley faces that you feel comfortable and at ease straightaway,  he's a good mix of geek plus bohemian and it kind of just works, his square-framed glasses suit his face and compliment his beard in an attractive geek chic type of way, that's not the best part of Mr France though because the best part is his personality and lets remember a box, however sparkly is really just a box if it doesn't have any contents, Mr France is even more lovely and fun packed on the inside.

I have not laughed on a date as much as I laughed last night, I laughed until at one point I couldn't catch my breath, he has a comedic presence when telling a tale, reminiscent of Peter Kaye, well if you imagine Peter Kaye as a slim, pocket-sized, quintessentially English gentleman.  I told him I would have hugged him if our date had been in real life and I think he may have attempted to do the same which really doesn't work over Skype, you can take that from me 😉  

We talked on Skype for so long that my battery nearly died so I had to carry him up the stairs very gently to plug him in and when it came to midnight and I had to go and he did too I felt a tinge of sadness because we were both having such a great evening.  Chatting for over 3 hours on Skype when you've never met before is quite a unique experience and by the end I was even relaxing into myself, he did say at one point that I wasn't as eccentric as he thought I might be but I told him I was on my best behaviour and also it's really hard for me because when I have spoken to men or tried to date them it's very rare that they actually get me and I always find I have to try to keep the real me inside. This just isn't the case with Mr France and I knew when he didn't run away screaming during my explanation of why Bananas are suspicious, sinister and must never be eaten that I'd found someone just a little special!  He did laugh but that's totally permitted and actively encouraged.

We talked for hours about everything, some things serious, some things not and it felt to me like it was a two way thing, I stopped and listened as much as I spoke, I got excited that we had things which we have exactly the same views on and then it's lovely that we have some areas that we are polar opposites (how can someone not love glitter?).  I think we could have a never ending conversation about all kinds of things and that's incredibly attractive.  I hope that he had just as much fun as me and that he feels the same, I think he does but you know I'm the queen of over analysis and second guessing, I went to bed smiling though and had the best nights sleep!

I'm not really sure what happens now, hopefully, more Skype dates and lovely shared experiences and hopefully if I end up in London for business or pleasure and he can get to London too then we can meet in glorious technicolour huggable real life,  maybe I'll even make it to Kent next year and there's obviously an open invitation if he ever wants to come to Newcastle.  I'd love to take him to some of my favourite places and I'd have no problem introducing him to Holly or my friends because if you fail to get along with Mr France you clearly have some kind of weird mind issues, he's adorable (Ssh, we'll just keep that among ourselves, we wouldn't want him getting a big head).

If you've never had a Skype date before then you should definitely go for it and if you're looking to date, maybe don't just stick with the safe man around the corner because there's just a chance that if you cast your net just a little wider you might just happen upon someone truly extraordinary.