Last night, Skype date number 3 and Mr France had put himself on a curfew because he was shattered and had to be up super early today for his children, it's quite endearing as I don't think I've ever put myself on a curfew before but perhaps I should start?

Of course, Skyping Mr France before bed always keeps me awake, I usually remember all of the things I was going to tell him but forgot whilst we were actually Skyping, sometimes our conversations are so whimsical and ludicrous that I can't even remember them, we do throw some serious stuff in there for good measure but I love that he's as whimsical as I am, in fact I would go so far as to say that he's sometimes more whimsical and that's what you have to love about him, there's literally no one else in the whole world like him, I could search the planet for the rest of my life and there's no way I would find someone even vaguely similar, he's just the right kind of crazy bonkers for me!

Something kept me awake last night though and yes, I realise I'm not exactly sleeper of the year at the moment but bear with me, you see we were talking and I think anyone who knows me probably knows who Mr France is but it's not the same for him, he said he can't blog about me because he's unable to be even slightly subtle and would end up just talking about me, Mandy!  This is all fine but it got me thinking, maybe I should just reveal who he is now because it's not just my story anymore, it's our story and by keeping his identity secret maybe I am inhibiting his story and he's someone who blogs with passion and has the same view as me, that his blog is his story, his log of who he was for his descendants (sorry for paraphrasing Mr France, if you're reading).

The reason I called Mr France by not his real name was that it was easier to write about him without calling him by his true identity and also there was always the chance that once we got to our Skype date that we wouldn't have got on etc but I really don't see anyone in my future now apart from him, it's almost certainly got to be long term and at a slow pace because of our lives and the distance we live apart but that's kind of the best bit, I said to him last night that I have no intention of ever getting in the way of how is life is, I just want to add to it, enhance it, I guess I want to be like the best kind of buttercream icing on the perfect cake or the glorious soft pink sponge in a Battenberg (that's the only part I like actually but Ssh).

There's not a day goes by where I don't speak to Mr France and in each day that I have known him he's brought me happiness and laughter, I said last night that if we went too long without Skyping that I would miss his face and it's true, this small, sensitive pocket-sized man has found the empty space in my heart and I think just nestled himself in there, there's no denying that if I was a kitten I would be smitten!

You know, we're grown-ups, we both have life and complications, neither of us is entirely perfect but as I've found in the past, perfection is unattainable and not what it's cracked up to be, being good enough, that's where it is and I am definitely good enough and Mr France, well he's way more than good enough for me because he might not be perfect but for me he's perfect.

So maybe now I will just tell you all, I'd love to be able to introduce you all, maybe you'll all start reading his blog too, it's different to mine and he's way more successful in the blogging world than I am but as these things go, I need to collect my own thoughts and I need to ask him what he thinks about that because whilst it's my story and our story, it's not my place to out him in any sense of the word so let's just say, watch this space...

Who Is Mr France? | #whoismrfrance

I have to admit that I wasn't going to write about Mr France again so soon after last week but we were talking last night and he said that if I didn't write about him everyone would wonder, where is Mr France rather than #whoismrfrance, where has he gone, has he disappeared?  The truth is of course that Mr France has become so much part of my everyday life that surely no one could possibly think he's vanished, I talk about him all the time, to anyone who'll listen for long enough and even with the people who know who Mr France is I still call him Mr France, even when I talk to the kids about him, as I told him last night, it doesn't matter what happens now, he'll always be my Mr France!

Today, I am tired, I haven't slept since around November, I'm always affected by the approaching equinox and I know that in January I will want to sleep forever, I will find new powers of sleep, until then I am very much surviving on a nightly lack of sleep and last night after spending 4 hours Skyping Mr France once again I was so happy and bouncy when I got into bed that by the time I woke up at half seven this morning I'd had, I reckon, around 4 hours sleep, yay me! 

You know what's brilliant about Mr France?  That I can be completely and totally myself when I'm with him and even though it's Skype and not touchable 3D real life it does feel like we're together when we're Skyping, I love that I can be all of the crazy, the good crazy, the things I usually have to try and hide away inside, I just don't have to do that, although that is perhaps testament to the fact that he is also slightly crazy bonkers.

So if we were in the US we would no doubt plan to meet at the top of the Empire State building sometime in February, sadly though, this is rainy old england and also, February is a long, long time away.  Being that we're in rainy old England and we both love musicals our plan is set to meet in London and go to see a musical, we're just not sure which musical, his favourite is Phantom, mine is Wicked but we both agreed we should maybe go to see something we hadn't seen already.  I am though super excited to meet him in touchable 3D technicolour.  On Skype, we don't have any set pattern and we have the most bizarre conversations which go from serious life changing opinions down to crazy stories about the strangest things and it all just seems to fit, so much so that I'm always a little sad when I realise the time has once again flown.

I'm not ashamed to say that I am smitten and there have been times when I didn't think I would ever have that feeling about anyone, the best thing is that it definitely feels mutual, for the first time I never ever find myself being over analytical or second guessing myself, I'm not worrying about things, I'm simply having fun and enjoying the adventure and to the naysayers, a small but vocal minority, I want to say something, to the people who say, you shouldn't be talking about this, well I wouldn't be, I could have kept it all in, I could have said nothing but Mr France is fully aware of it all and he's encouraging and supportive and it's part of my story, my story that started right here, on this blog nearly eleven years ago.  And to those who say "That's not dating, don't be ridiculous" let me say this, lots of people meet other people in bars or clubs, they get drunk, they take them home, they spend the night with them, some of them can't even remember their names the next day, with Mr France it's not like that, we can't be physically near to each other right now so we talk, we get to know each other, being connected to someones minds or thoughts is so much deeper so don't knock it until you've tried it.

Last night with the help of a website called Whats Halfway we worked out that Newark is smack bang in the middle of us so that's a consideration for the future as we're both only 2.5 hours away apparently, to be honest though I think I'd rather be on the train for an extra half hour and meet up in London, it's just a little more exciting.

This morning someone said to me, "I know who Mr France is" well I can tell you, it's one of the worst kept secrets on the internet, especially if you use Twitter but I'm not quite ready to reveal his secret identity just yet, in fact I can tell you this, last night he wasn't bespectacled as he usually is so he did kind of reveal his own secret identity, not that he looks all that different with or without spectacles but then again, neither did Clark Kent and he kept the entire planet guessing...

So I went on a Skype Date...

I'll let you into a secret, I have a phone phobia, I hate using the phone and if anyone calls me other than my children and Harriet, I usually avoid picking it up!  The thought of having a conversation on Skype was more than a little terrifying and the thought of a Skype date was possibly one of the scariest things I've ever done, I was so nervous and probably more rambly than ever to start with, I could feel my heart beating way faster than it should have been, I'd propped my Macbook up on a box on the kitchen table to eliminate double chins because if you sit and speak to someone and your laptop is on your lap, well that's not a great angle at all is it?!

Of course, I needn't have worried, not even a bit, I think Mr France was more worried about how I would react to his charmingly bohemian beard in virtual real life, he calls it scruffy, I think it just adds character.  If I had to describe Mr France right now I'd say he's got one of those friendly smiley faces that you feel comfortable and at ease straightaway,  he's a good mix of geek plus bohemian and it kind of just works, his square-framed glasses suit his face and compliment his beard in an attractive geek chic type of way, that's not the best part of Mr France though because the best part is his personality and lets remember a box, however sparkly is really just a box if it doesn't have any contents, Mr France is even more lovely and fun packed on the inside.

I have not laughed on a date as much as I laughed last night, I laughed until at one point I couldn't catch my breath, he has a comedic presence when telling a tale, reminiscent of Peter Kaye, well if you imagine Peter Kaye as a slim, pocket-sized, quintessentially English gentleman.  I told him I would have hugged him if our date had been in real life and I think he may have attempted to do the same which really doesn't work over Skype, you can take that from me 😉  

We talked on Skype for so long that my battery nearly died so I had to carry him up the stairs very gently to plug him in and when it came to midnight and I had to go and he did too I felt a tinge of sadness because we were both having such a great evening.  Chatting for over 3 hours on Skype when you've never met before is quite a unique experience and by the end I was even relaxing into myself, he did say at one point that I wasn't as eccentric as he thought I might be but I told him I was on my best behaviour and also it's really hard for me because when I have spoken to men or tried to date them it's very rare that they actually get me and I always find I have to try to keep the real me inside. This just isn't the case with Mr France and I knew when he didn't run away screaming during my explanation of why Bananas are suspicious, sinister and must never be eaten that I'd found someone just a little special!  He did laugh but that's totally permitted and actively encouraged.

We talked for hours about everything, some things serious, some things not and it felt to me like it was a two way thing, I stopped and listened as much as I spoke, I got excited that we had things which we have exactly the same views on and then it's lovely that we have some areas that we are polar opposites (how can someone not love glitter?).  I think we could have a never ending conversation about all kinds of things and that's incredibly attractive.  I hope that he had just as much fun as me and that he feels the same, I think he does but you know I'm the queen of over analysis and second guessing, I went to bed smiling though and had the best nights sleep!

I'm not really sure what happens now, hopefully, more Skype dates and lovely shared experiences and hopefully if I end up in London for business or pleasure and he can get to London too then we can meet in glorious technicolour huggable real life,  maybe I'll even make it to Kent next year and there's obviously an open invitation if he ever wants to come to Newcastle.  I'd love to take him to some of my favourite places and I'd have no problem introducing him to Holly or my friends because if you fail to get along with Mr France you clearly have some kind of weird mind issues, he's adorable (Ssh, we'll just keep that among ourselves, we wouldn't want him getting a big head).

If you've never had a Skype date before then you should definitely go for it and if you're looking to date, maybe don't just stick with the safe man around the corner because there's just a chance that if you cast your net just a little wider you might just happen upon someone truly extraordinary.