On Friday night, I finally finished my garden, it was all done on a really small budget but I'm going to let you in on how much it cost and where everything came from.  The best thing about gardens of course is that they constantly evolve and there are still things I would like to add and ideas to make it even better, today, for example, I spotted an Easter Island side table which looks small enough to fit next to my grey moon chair and don't even get me started on the planting, every time I see plants I want to buy them!!

Here's how much the main things cost -

Arbour - £250 from Amazon, paid with vouchers I'd saved up

Chiminea - £100 from Wyevale, they had 20% off and triple points when I bought it so I got it for £80 and will get back vouchers for around another £15.

Egg Chair - £24.99 from TJ Hughes, I hadn't seen these cheap anywhere, even on Amazon it was nearly £40 for one but then I spotted them in the garden department of my local store.

Water Feature - £29.99 from TJ Hughes, again, the water feature I would love costs around £150 but this one, made from solid plastic, does the trick but it's awful, I need to refill it all the time, sometimes it does a trickle, sometimes it flows really quickly, I don't recommend!

Slate - £2.75 per bag from Home Bargains, I used 13 bags

Paving Stones - £5.99 per paving stone from Home Bargains

New Plants - £100 from various places

Trellis - £15 from Wyevale using a voucher, it should have been £17

Bark - £1.99 per bag from Aldi, we used 6 bags but I would like some more

Bricks - Free from a kind person on Facebook

Cushions for the bench, the 3 green checked ones were £5.99 each from Home Bargains, the other 2 I previously owned and used in my garden last year.

So basically it was all done for just over £500 and when you think what it was before...

That's all the major bits, most of the lighting was already in the garden or in the house and a lot of the objects are repurposed like the butlers tray table and the fire bucket but what I have now is a space I can truly relax in, not just that though, it's a place I can record video's, take photographs, it's a restful environment an Instagram worthy space,  for years I've looked at gardening magazines and wanted a space like they have and yes, it's not the size of Monty Don's back garden or indeed his front one but I live 20 minutes walk from the city centre, when you are so urban space is a premium.  I've also realised I couldn't afford a bigger garden in terms of time, money or the energy because even a small space takes up so much of all of that.

This coming Sunday, May 12th is Garden day, a day to celebrate the spaces we live outdoors in and I shall be having my own little garden party in honour, not just of Garden Day but also Abigail's, Harriet and Ron's birthdays, all which truly are worth celebrating.

I've always loved gardening and so I hope this is just the start and I hope in 6 months or a year I'll add so many extra pieces to it, it becomes something more special than even I could have ever imagined when I first pictured the space in my mind and wondered what on earth I could do with it.

The 8 positives of Lockdown

It may sound weird to say that there have been some positives to lockdown but aside from missing people, the financial worries and rising anxiety which comes and goes, I have to say that there are definite positives.

1. I've rescued some relationships I thought were gone forever and I'm so thankful for that.
2. I've had time to start teaching kids the wonder of creative photography.
3. I've started a brand new business, Planty Mandy's Gardening Gang, something I wanted to do last year but just never had the time.
4. I've spent so much time tending to my garden, sowing seeds, planting things and watching the plants grow.
5. I've sat in the sunshine every day and felt the warmth on my face and every day I do that, I feel less anxious and better about life.
6. I've embraced cooking and baking like never before, you can tell that from my ever-extending waistline.
7. I've wandered with Holly Bobbins not worrying about the time it takes (she's very slow) and enjoyed our gentle walks observing nature and the wonder of spring.
8. I've reacquainted myself with the enjoyment of a glass of good wine, I couldn't drink alcohol from around 2011, I was completely intolerant and it turned out when they took me off bendroflumethiazide that it was that medication which made me intolerant.  Hurrah for wine and gin and an Aperol spritz in the sunshine. 

Now please don't think I'm being glib or that I'm not empathetic to the pains of lockdown, I've had anxiety at least once or twice a day and some days the lockdown malaise is so bad that I simply don't have the energy to do anything.  The thing is though, I'm a perpetual optimist, I live on the bright side of things.  For instance, some of my favourite restaurants are now doing great organic grocery deliveries, bakers are doing treat boxes and you can get most things delivered straight to your door, which is handy, if like me, you're in the increased risk category.

There's so much talk about ending lockdown, about saving the economy and it just doesn't sit well with me, even though I'm out of work I'd always favour saving lives over saving the economy.  For me, I want lockdown to end, when it's safe to end, even if that means setting free our young people whilst I languish in lockdown for just that little bit longer, better to do that than die and that's pretty much our choices at present.  I won't feel safe until the day I can access an antibody test that confirms that yes I've had Coronavirus and yes I have antibodies.  It seems for the latter part though, we still don't know just how much immunity the antibodies will gift us and that's anxiety-inducing too.

Last year I had an idea to start a subscription gardening club for children, I wanted to teach them how cool it is to grow your own plants and flowers whilst also learning about just how amazing wildlife and nature is, the bees are like the rockstars of the insect world and I will wax lyrical about that as often as I can.  Would I have launched Planty Mandy's Gardening Gang if we hadn't had lockdown?  Maybe, but I was always too busy.  Having no business to worry about has certainly been a boon at times.  In less than a week I have broadcast my first episode, I have set up a Facebook page and I have ordered all of the elements for the very first gardening gang boxes, including the boxes, thankfully it's all tax-deductible and good use of what little savings I had.  The gardening gang won't replace photography because I'll always be a photographer and really, having good photography skills is very helpful for such a business.

Quite simply I'm putting all of my passions together and starting something wonderful, it's unlikely to make a million but if it enthuses small children to save the bees and care about the wildlife then saving the world is much bigger than anything that financial gain could provide.  It does also help that I ran a membership site for the last couple of years so I've gained a lot of skills in that area.

I feel quite confident about the future, about my future and the future for us all, it might be bumpy but it can still be truly wonderful, as many have said, this too shall pass.

If you have enjoyed this article, I would love your support in buying me a virtual coffee ko-fi.com/mandycharlton for every person who supports me before May 7th I am entering them into a draw to win a 12x8 print of beautiful Newcastle, I have over 25 prints to give away so you have a really high chance of getting one of your walls.  Thank you!

Magical Small Garden Ideas

For regular readers or anyone who knows me in real life, you'll know that last year I transformed my outdoor space into a magical small garden. That was just the start though and this year I've been working to make it even better.  Of course, the problem at the moment is the access to garden centres which often provides small pockets of inspiration and Pinterest only goes so far, I am however madly pinning new ideas.  

The first thing I've done this year is to install a pergola or garden arch and I've planted wisteria and a passion flower to grow up it, if I'm really lucky I may even get passionfruit and my goodness, that truly would be wonderful.

I've run out of space in the sunniest part of the garden so I've bought some coloured pots which hang on the fence and I'm planning to pot herbs in them so whenever I'm cooking I can just step outside of the backdoor to grab a handful.

I've also lowered the pond which was super wonky and replaced the pump for the fountain so it's a little more efficient and I can really hear the water babbling as I sit in my arbour.

I haven't decided what to do with the hanging baskets this year, they do have fuchsias in them which are just starting to come back but last year I just found they looked a little messy and I really want those overflowing abundant hanging baskets.  I also have a dark corner next to the compost bin which is much overlooked and I still haven't a clue what I can do with it so suggestions on a postcard please for that one!

One thing that I know is that you can have a truly magical garden even in the smallest space, seeds are available from around 25p a packet, I bought some bright lobelia for exactly that much and it will provide an abundance of blue and purple bedding during the summer months.  I also want you to know that you can still grow fruits and vegetables in tiny gardens, I have rhubarb, potatoes, carrots, beetroot, rocket, salad, strawberries, loganberries and beans which all grow amongst the plants and flowers.  I love just planting everything together and last year it all just seemed to work.  I'm also noticing that since I put the slate down that I haven't seen quite so many slugs and snails so maybe I should have another go with Lupins and Hostas.

One thing I know is, we need our green spaces and yardens, our small gardens and window boxes now more than ever, a comfy chair next to a pot of pretty blousy blooms in a sunny spot can make the difference between a bad and good mental health day and I know all too well just how much of a difference it makes to be able to sit outside every day just watching and listening to nature.

So, go now, make it your mission to grow something, find a pot or a planter or a box you no longer need, throw in some soil and scatter even the cheapest pack of wildflower seeds and you will be rewarded not only with flowers but also with life and insects and fuzzy bumblebees who are so grateful for the pollen they will buzz merrily around providing a relaxing chorus whilst you have a nap in your comfy chair.

If you have enjoyed this article or taken some value I'd love your support so I can keep writing ko-fi.com/mandycharlton

Coronavirus - A brand new way of life?

I keep sitting with my MacBook open ready for action and just staring, not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing.  I think this may go on for some time to come.  I have to say that today I feel I've had a better day after the worst weekend, the toll on my mental health has been huge but today, I spent a whole day in the garden,  planting, planning, renewing and my goodness, it felt good.

I know it's not just me, I know there are around 5 million self-employed people and for a high proportion who work in the service sector, we're just sitting, waiting and wondering what we should do now?

I think whilst gardening today and enjoying the sunshine I started to finally accept that everything I thought was a fixed point in my life is now transient.  I literally don't know what comes next. I have started to accept things, to be resigned to my own fate and I'm sure over the coming days I'll become more and more resilient.

I know some of the choices I made just a couple of weeks ago I now regret,  that's a future blog post for sure and yes, hunker down because we've got a lot of time to come in this particular space and I know that I need to have an outlet and this is a time for me to have renewed passion for my writing, something which I usually just don't have the time to do.  I have full blog posts I've wanted to write for so long, I may just have the time to wax lyrical about all of the reasons I hate the multilevel marketing huns with their fake happiness taking advantage of those who might have fallen on hard times, it's usually women around my age that they choose to recruit too and then they all.  All MLM's are not alike however and Tropic Skincare is one of the good guys, I love their cleanser and my lovely friend Amber sells it through her beauty business and let me tell you, a hun she is not.

Anyway, trying not to get too distracted as that's a whole other post.  I have a list of things, actually, I don't, I have some thoughts in my head which may end up being some kind of vague list, all of the exciting things like -

1. Choose new portfolio images
2. Work on SEO strategy
3. Work out what an SEO strategy is 
4. Optimise web images
5. Work on new marketing
6. Order new product samples

All utterly boring but necessary stuff, when we do emerge from our Coronavirus social isolation bunkers, I want to be right at the forefront because the world is going to want to get married and I'm going to need to work 37947 hours a week just to try and rebuild my income.  I do however have some other plans - 

1. Catch up on all of the books on my bookshelf
2. Watch all of the movies I've been saving for a later date
3. Exercise Bobbins and I until we are skinny and fit behind blades of grass
4. redecorate bedroom
5. grow fruits and vegetables and generally feel more like Felicity Kendall
6. Work out how to find an other half whilst in social isolation

I mean, I know it's not like solving world peace but hey, I'm working on the deeply philosophical stuff too, it's just too wordy for your average blog post, I got very excited about nihilism once and I think I frightened people away, optimistic nihilist, that's me 😉

And so as we all get on with this slightly (for slightly, read very) weird world at this time of writing, our Prime Minister has just decided to place us all on lockdown for at least the next 3 weeks.  Bejesus, I never thought that Holly Bobbins would become my secret weapon to get out once a day,I hope she knows she's a superhero.

Best Ways to Embrace the Cosy Season

The cosy season is upon us, the nights are getting longer, the days are shorter and if you can't spend so much time outdoors, it's the best time to start declaring your love of houseplants.  Houseplants bring the outdoors indoors and earlier in the year while I was planning my urban haven I declared that by the time it got to this winter I would have a house full of plants to try and help me with seasonal affective disorder.

Every year in the last 5 years I've done small things to help with SAD, I've bought a lightbox, I've continually taken a high dose of vitamin D3, I've embraced all things hygge and now, I've got my own indoor garden for the days when I can't embrace the outdoors.  I don't particularly care about the varieties of houseplant, I just buy the ones I like and really, in a lot of ways, houseplants are a gentle way of gardening, you buy the plant, you buy the pot and then you take it home and put it where you want it.  

I do talk to my plants but you'd expect that wouldn't you, you might think I'm slightly eccentric but I'm also pretty sure that there's scientific evidence that if you're nice to your plants then they will grow for you.  I also know that they improve the air quality and they're so much prettier than buying an air purifier.

I've also, for the last few years, worked really hard at making my living room the cosiest place on earth, yes, the walls and the ceiling could do with a paint, it's definitely not Mrs Hinch's house and it's a little rough around the edges but to me it's the perfect nest to live in during the cosy season.  I love twinkly lights, cushions, throws, second-hand furniture, and of course, lots and lots of plants plus candles, wax melts and reed diffusers.  I genuinely love the space that I've curated and whilst I used to dread the knock of the door (I once went for 7 years without letting someone in my house) now I openly embrace friends coming over and once a year, when planning Christmas, I open my house to as many of my close friends as I can squeeze through the door at my annual Christmas party.

I love shopping at Homesense and Ikea as well as charity shops and garden centres, I think if you put all of those stores together and jumble them all up, you come out with my style somewhere in there.  I like colour and patterns and I'm not scared to mix them up, oh and of course, I love, love, love, photos on the wall.

I love dark nights and warm blankets even though I hate the cold dark days of winter which is why I curated my own adult-sized nest, now add in some good friends and a sparkly glass of Champagne and you will find me in Cosy Season heaven.

Let's start this again shall we?

You may remember me from previous blogs such as...

Yep, I haven't blogged for nearly a month for a variety of reasons - 

• I've shot a lot of weddings lately and in between shooting them, (often with smoke bombs) I've been a slave to editing and to all manner of portraits and client work.
• When Google+ closed its doors it slashed my traffic by around a third and that's hard, especially as a blogger who does occasional sponsored posts but I've given myself a talking to about why I started blogging in the first place and I still hope to be writing my scattered thoughts for the next decade or so.
• Abigail cut me out of her life because I shared a post about coercive control on Instagram and I still can't process it months later, being silent about any kind of marital or relationship abuse just leads to more abuse, we can only stop this stuff from happening if we talk about it.  I'll always be here for her and she knows that and that's all I can really say right now because I still can't talk about it without feeling my heart actually hurt.
• I went on holiday with Looby and Holly Bobbins and actually did no work whilst I was there, this is a rare occurrence for me.
• I started to live the slow life, I've spoken about this before but these days you will mostly find me in my garden.

So, a lot of things have happened and yet, nothing has really happened, just life.

The summer holidays are just around the corner and for the first time I'll be spending more time alone than ever before, Looby will be off with friends and horses for most of it and I haven't really worked out what I'm going to do with myself as yet.  Harriet finishes work on Friday and we're going away on the 28th to Cumbria and then a couple of nights near Aberystwith, all with wonder dog Holly Bobbins of course.

I was also trying to plan a one-woman trip to the highlands but coach companies are so complicated and it doesn't seem like I've been able to find one which works with the dates when I'm actually available.  I have been thinking about whether I can do a one-woman rail and Airbnb  (if you click that link you can join Airbnb and get £23 off your first trip and I'll get some credit towards my travels) trip to the highlands but it just depends on the price of rail tickets etc.

I really want to make the most of summer even if I'm childfree but for me, I'm still trying to process that my kids are older and the summer holidays aren't that magical thing they used to be.  I'm sure like Christmas I just need to redefine them for myself, I'm sure if I don't it will end up in knocking off my depression and that's not what I want at all.

What I need I think is some kind of grown-up summer holiday bucket list I can check off and live my best life but I think I'm currently going through some kind of mid-life crisis in all kinds of areas of my life.

One thing that is definitely happening, I campaigned for a community garden and it's happening with the help of the NCS (national citizen service) I cannot wait to help build a garden for my local community with the help of 15 or so enthusiastic young people.  The plan is to remove a massive box hedge and a boulder from a disused and nettle filled flower bed, then to put in herbs and bee attracting flowers as well as putting a park bench and maybe a picnic table, finally I want to get lots of outdoor toys for the local small ones and hold a big party in my community to really bring them together.  Hopefully, it's the start of something amazing and I've already pledged to contribute time and financially so much as I can.  After all, I believe that small scale philanthropy can change the world, I know I am imperfect but that doesn't mean that I can't do amazing amounts of good for the community.

The Importance of Telling Your Story

I have a single rule in general about photographs, if a photograph doesn't tell a story when it's isolated on its own then you should delete it.  Every image should tell a story because the importance of telling your story through every single thing you do is so important.  It doesn't matter how you took the photo, whether it was a camera costing thousands or your battered old mobile phone which lives in your pocket with your keys and some sweet wrappers.  A good photo should either immediately tell a story or it should ask you a question and make you wonder what's going on.

In business one of the hardest things you'll do is to search for your superhero customers, the people who'll come back over and over again, the ones who will shout from the rooftops, the ones who will be your superheroes and tell other people about you.  To find those very special people, you must tell your story.  People no longer buy products or services, they buy people and no one is going to buy someone they know nothing about.

People want to know the person behind the business, why did you begin, how have you been here for so long, what is the thing that makes you want to keep doing what you're doing?  All of these things form part of your story.

There's a trick on Instagram I worked out maybe 6 months ago, I started to really engage with people through images and videos, I started telling my story, I wanted people to really know who I was, where I'd come from and just how far I'd come.  Every day is like a new chapter.  The funny thing now though is I don't necessarily share the best, most, award-winning images.  I simply share the things I love and with that love, I tell my story.

So important is this message of telling your story that I've completely changed the face of my business.  Up until very recently I would go to weddings and tell the story of the couple but in portraiture, I would just take pretty pictures.  Nothing wrong with that you might say, but I couldn't understand why I could do it with weddings and not with families and the truth was, that it's about time.

So often people come to photo shoots with definite ideas about what they want so by the time you arrange them into their various groups, there's no time left to create story-telling images.  To tell someone's story though is to give depth.  It's actually a truly beautiful thing to have just a little more time but I can tell you, although there'll always be a place for the shorter sessions, when you spend an hour with people and you're wandering from place to place, it really helps you get to know them, get to know the personality of their family.

This weekend I have 2 weddings and 2 longer photo shoots and it is my single goal to create great storytelling images from each one.  They will all be completely unique and so it's important that their images are too.

At the heart of everything I do, I want to inspire people, I want to use the experiences I've had in life, good and bad, to help others, to be an advocate for mental health and I want to show people that although bad past life experiences have defined me I have managed to change the focus of them and get some good out of them.  It is 100% possible to have had a deeply traumatic childhood and still turn that around into something which helps others.  

There are a few areas of my life I have been far too quiet about, especially the past, recent and farther back, I feared the consequences of speaking out too many times but not any more, now that I'm publicly talking about it and drawing other people to me who've experienced the same kind of things I can see completely how together we can be a force for good, together we are telling our stories to help others understand theirs.

You know, it's a funny thing, life.  For me, the biggest paradigm shift was transforming my garden, it allowed me to share from beginning to end a story, I got to share my journey and inspire some people along the way and it also revealed to me that through learning about how living outdoors affected my general health and wellbeing that I could pass on this information to help others.  I also suddenly realised I was doing the thing I'd first learnt in photography, through sharing pictures of plants and how to build a pond, what I was actually doing was sharing the story of me, of progress and of transformation.

Start sharing your story today and you might just find out how powerful that is.

June, in my small urban garden

Flaming June is my favourite of all of the months, especially when it is flaming, my small urban garden is not only growing but some of the plants, after all of the rain we've had lately, seem to be growing like triffids!  I also remember that I fed them with Baby Bio the last time I watered them before the rainy period came so I'm guessing that has something to do with it.  Even though I only put 1 small fuschia and a trailing tomato plant in each hanging basket, they're both about to explode over the sides and that makes Mandy a happy gardener.

I was worried this week that the slugs and snails had eaten away my contained potatoes but when I emptied out the container I found enough new potatoes to feed Looby and me for a couple of dinners!  What actually happened though was that the potatoes were so good that Looby ate about 3 portions after coming in from the stables.  We had one amazing dinner and I swear, they were the best potatoes I've ever eaten.

I've already had my first harvest of rocket and my second batch is just about ready to greedily gobble up in a big salad.  Is it just me or is there anything more satisfying than growing things you can actually eat.  Don't worry though, I love my flowers way too much to completely replace them.

As time goes on in the garden, I realise just how bad the planting previously was, the collection of plants which would be better in mansions or gardens much bigger than mine.  There's even a compost plant which was helpfully planted and I hate the blooming thing, it has zero points to it and though I have tried to pull it out, it just keeps coming back.  Don't even get me started on the Japanese anemone, it's so monstrous it would be better off in the Little Shop of Horrors, suffice to say, it's living on borrowed time and will be the first plant I remove when it dies back in autumn.

Now I'm definitely not claiming to be some kind of gardening guru but I think it's really important in a small garden not to buy, borrow or receive gifts of enormous garden swallowing plants.  each inch is precious after all so it has to be planted correctly.

The bane of my life, aka, the self-emptying water feature finally went to the great water feature heaven in the sky today to be replaced by an 80 litre half barrel style nature pond, I used the pump from the old one, I bought a pot which was £50 and I thought was going to cost £40 because Dobbies had 20% off for their club card holders and when it went through the till for 50p, the assistant and I nearly fell over, it turns out that they're selling off tons of stuff after taking over the local garden centre from Wyevale so go me, with a pond that cost 50p!

Now, I have to admit that I know very little about water gardening so I went the easy way and bought a marginal planted basket which was already prepared, I'm going to add a water lily next and it's probably big enough for fish but I think we're going to try and attract frogs and toads to the garden so I need to find some big rocks so that they can get in and out of the pond and also bask in the sunshine, assuming that's what frogs do, I haven't a clue!

I also managed to get a Bay tree which should have been £60 for just £12, again, get yourself to Dobbies if they've just taken over Wyevale as there are definite bargains to be found.  I really only wanted it because I needed something to stand behind the pond which would cover up some dead space, I recycled the bottom tub from the old water feature, cut a hole in the bottom for drainage and then covered it with a few pieces of slate, put in some new compost and repotted the Bay pyramid, I think it's going to be very happy where it is and I've recreated what looks like a natural environment for a pond.  All in all, I'm delighted with the progress, I just wish it would stop raining long enough to enjoy it, one thing is for certain, this summer doesn't seem at all like it's going to be the scorcher that we had last summer although I'm hopeful, I'm always hopeful.

Gardening is life changing, here's why...

When I was young, I remember living in a house where the garden faced the wrong way, the sun shone on the front garden and the back was paving stones which I can't remember spending any great time doing anything on.  Then in my teenage years, we moved to a house with a back garden which faced the right way and I think this is where my love of flowers came from, begonias were fashionable and something which grew well in our back garden, it seems a shame I think that they have fallen out of fashion in recent years.

During my adult life I have fallen in and out of love with the garden, it became somewhere forboding in my last house but probably due to my ailing mental health, when you're trying to just get through each day, it does not leave much time for anything else.  This garden I have now though has been through so many changes, from moving in with a huge rowan tree which blocked out all of the light.  We had the smallest patch of grass you can imagine but I remember the children having a paddling pool one summer, something I'm reminded of when wearing those rose-tinted glasses which looked to the past. 

Being married to someone who gardened professionally I never questioned once any of the plants which came to live in my garden. From cuttings or kind donations and it's only now when I live on my own and I've transformed it myself, that I've come to realise, half of the plants in my garden are just too big for my garden.  There's one particular one, a Japanese anemone which gets on it amazing pink flowers in the summer but no matter how much I cut it back, it grows like a monstrous triffid, consuming all of the light and smothering anything in its path.

Let's not mention that Juniper which lived in the corner of my garden which I pulled out with such vigour that I fell over and concussed myself against the garden wall!  Gardening is an adventure! As Monty Don says, "Gardens are never finished, they are a journey, not a destination".  I love that sentiment and when I'd laid the path and put the slate down, I stood at the bottom of the garden and reminded myself that this was actually a beginning, not an ending.

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I do not do things by halves, I am either passionate about something or I just do not care for it at all.  This is my worst and best quality all in one, I get bored easily and move onto new things and I only have patience when it comes to photographing small people.

In my garden though, I have found so much of myself which was previously lost.  I have found a haven and I have found my soul.  Within weeks of getting outdoors my agoraphobic tendencies started to recede, my night sweats vanished and my skin looked better than it had in years.  I found myself calmer and more zen than I can ever remember. 

If gardening is good for the soul then the act of just sitting somewhere beautiful is good for your mental health.  I've had more people tell me I've inspired them to get outdoors, to change their gardens or to make their own little haven than I ever have had people tell me that I've inspired them with photography, I may have even been called "Planty Mandy" I don't mind that though, in fact, I quite like it!

I do not know what will happen in my future now, none of us do, we can plan for tomorrow but everything can change in an instant so you may as well enjoy the process, live for each precious moment and appreciate in hindsight that you were making the most special memories on what might seem were the most pedestrian, normal kinds of days.

Since the garden has become a retreat I've noticed that Looby and I are taking more time to sit out in the evenings, the fairy lights twinkle whilst the Chiminea has kept us warm and we've sat under blankets doing nothing special which was actually the most special thing we could have done.  If anything, the garden, the space I have come to call my haven, is the biggest and best thing I have ever done, it has given me time to stop and sit and ruminate, it has offered moments of pure joy and it has fulfilled my ambitions of doing something grand and following a process from beginning to end.

It might be a small urban garden, but to me, it means the whole world and for that, I'll be forever thankful.

Your garden is good for your mental health!

It's mental health week and so this coincides nicely with my mission to get everyone enjoying their garden a little more.  You see, I've always loved my garden, in fact, I grew up in a house that gardened and I always loved sitting in the garden on those perfect English summer days, you know the ones with the blue skies, the white fluffy clouds which pre-empt the bigger storm clouds and a downpour the moment you go to fire up the BBQ?

As well as my love of all things green-fingered, I have, of course, also struggled with my mental health throughout my life, bipolar disorder, chronic anxiety and at times, agoraphobia.  I noticed over the years though that if I could get outdoors my moods were always much better and it's not hard to appreciate why that would be, you cannot beat time spent walking in the countryside or sitting in a sunny cove on the beach listening to the waves lap on the nearby rocks.

The thing is though, there's a revolution afoot, I've come to understand I might have a passion as great as anything I've done before, it's life-changing, maybe not in the life or death sense but I'm on a mission worthy of your favourite superhero to transform people's lives with the power of outdoor living.

So, let's just talk about gardening for a moment, Alan Titchmarsh, Monty Don, Gardeners World, mature sedate ladies cutting roses and deadheading poppies in their white painted cottages in the countryside.  Well, I'm here to tell you that isn't what this mission is about.

Love gardening, hate gardening, I don't care, I just want you to look at your garden as an extension of your living space, somewhere you can entertain, somewhere you can get away from it all, a place you could have a holiday in your own home.  The thought of gardening can seem overwhelming, particularly if you're not akin to the RHS plant manual and all of its botanical names.  You don't have to be Charlie Dimmock to make your own little haven.

My garden is 4.5 metres long by 3.4 metres wide, it's a teeny tiny postage stamp of an urban garden on a housing estate which fringes the edge of the city and where high rises are the only view I have.  I live a few hundred metres from the main east coast train line, it is not a large idyllic house or garden.  When I began the transformation it contained 2 wheelie bins and a compost bin.  The wheelie bins are now at the front of our uninspiring house, where we have zero gardens, not even a patch and where if you placed some pots to upscale the entrance they would either get stolen, vandalised or set on fire.  (or all 3).

What I'm trying to tell you, is that it doesn't matter about the size of your garden or where you live, from the tiniest flat with a small balcony to the standard townhouse near the city with a postage stamp sized garden, you can still create your own personal oasis.  It doesn't matter if you just add some garden furniture, some trellis with fake leaves and a pile of plastic plants and fake hanging baskets, the point is, create a space you love, a safe space and if you can't do it alone, ask family or friends to help, if you're broke you can do this on a budget, plants are cheap, second-hand garden furniture or repurposed furniture from your home, you can build something amazing from not very much at all.

The more I live outdoors, the more I cook outside, the more moments of stillness I can find the better I feel and it's not just living outdoors, I even feel calmer when I'm working on my laptop in the garden, my mind is clearer, my anxiety levels fall and I'm more zen than I've ever been.

I actually have loved the act of gardening, the joy of transformation, the fact that I designed something in my mind (and on Pinterest) and it was the first ever project which now looks the same in reality as it did in my head when I designed it with my mind.  For me, I think there's something healthy, something wonderful about growing plants,  planting seeds and small plants and watching them blossom into something extraordinary.

I want to encourage people to love the space they have in the same way that Mrs Hinch has transformed our attitude to cleaning the house.  And yes, I realise Mrs Hinch has 2.4 million followers on Instagram and I have just over 10k but you have to start somewhere don't you and if I start a revolution to inspire others, well when they join in, perhaps, we, yes, you and me, we could start a movement which ends with us collectively having millions who transform their lives, their mental health and their outdoor living areas.  Of course, I'll have to come and visit for a nosey and a cup of tea but I'll guarantee you this, you'll find me smilier and happier, calmer and less anxious than I have been for a very long time.

Spring in the small urban garden

Today marks the start of a new semi regular feature which is all about gardening and what's going on in my garden, I say semi-regular as I still get bored writing about the same things over and over but right now it's such a big part of my life having seen it's complete transformation over the last few months.

I've always loved gardening, when I met Paul, it was me who was the keen gardener, I'm one of those plant nerds although I can say right now I do not know all of them or their botanical names.  I think I just have one of those brains where I can't remember what I did yesterday but I can remember what a plant is called.

It's been a couple of months of hard work and I've done it all by myself, although Looby occasionally helps with planting or putting something together for me but it's probably the first project I've taken on since being single and where my vision has actually related to the end result.

My biggest irk currently is the paving and the fact that I actually have no idea what to do to it or pretty much, how to actually achieve that, and that's with all of the research time I've spent on Pinterest looking at ideas.

Lighting in the garden is really important to me and I've spent next to no money on any of it, I really did have countless sets of fairy lights of all different types (solar, mains, battery) in my garden and home previously.  There are still areas that need more twinkly bits I feel but I think I've gotten to a point where if it was all completely finished I would have nothing to plan when I'm pottering around of an afternoon.

The big stuff, the heavy stuff, that's all done apart from the aforementioned paving and a Juniper tree which started as a bonsai, then stood in front of an ugly area and is now completely out of place and blocking out all of the light to a red camellia which I think would flourish if it were removed but whilst I still have the searing burning hot pains in my neck I don't think removing a 5 year old tree which I'm mostly allergic too is a great idea.

My garden has been done on a really low budget, I've used Facebook groups, I've begged, borrowed and stolen things from my house to be repurposed in the garden.  The string moon chairs are expensive everywhere apart from TJ Hughes where I randomly found them selling them singularly for £24.99 each, I wanted hot pink, Looby chose grey but it is her garden too.  The cheap water feature is made of solid plastic, also from TJ Hughes, it's weird and I wouldn't recommend it, it empties itself at random moments and i've no idea where the water goes to but until I can save a couple of hundred for the water feature I actually want, it's just nice to have the sound of running water as I sit in the arbour.

Rachel suggested at lunch yesterday that I get another arbour, not one to sit in but one half way up the path to grow fragrant climbers like Jasmin and honeysuckle and I have to agree, it's something I want to add in the future and then perhaps I could hang some pretty lanterns from it to shine in the nights.

As you can see from the last image, I still have plenty of room for new plants, although that is the shady side of the garden so it's getting plants to suit the conditions, we used to have a Gunnera in there near the Rhubarb (they're from the same family) until Petunia the husky came and thought it was tasty and so told Holly Bobbins she should eat it too, that was the end of Gertrude!

I really want a hardy palm too but so far I've only seen cheap ones in pairs and I definitely do not have room for 2 palm trees in my garden!

May in the garden marks the transition from spring to summer with the bedding plants finally able to go outside when the risk of frost has passed, I cannot wait to get some big blousy colours going on and I plan to spend every moment I'm not working pottering around and enjoying my garden.

The Transformation of My Outdoor Living Space

Just lately I've undertaken the epic task of transforming my outdoor living space, to some they'd call it a tiny back garden but to me, it's the place I live as soon as the temperature rises enough to actually not be outdoors without getting a chill!

I love my garden, it's tiny, it's urban but it's mine, there's nothing I love more than an afternoon pottering around the flowerbeds but this year for me is special, this is the year I want to complete the project and that takes work.

First we cleared the garden, thankfully Looby helped as we transformed what was a complete mess after winter and the reorganisation of my home, when we got to February and the garden was piled high with black bags and old stuff just waiting to go to the tip I was grateful for the help of friends to get it removed.

Next came, the hard work turning over the soil and planting vegetables and fruits so that we can be more self-sufficient, as a complete aside, this is the first time I've ever grown mushrooms and I've impressed myself with my ability to grow mould!

I digress, back to the outdoor space, so far I've planted Potatoes, Spinach, Rocket, Tomatoes, peas, blackcurrants and strawberries and they're all doing pretty well except for the tomatoes which were probably wiped out by the recent early morning snow, yes, I still have a lot to learn about gardening.  The thing is though, I always loved gardening, my parents had a back garden many would have envied and I continued gardening as I moved into my own house.

 Then I met Paul and for many years he took care of things because that's his job, he's a professional gardener so having to think about the dirty bits, the bits where you can encounter crawly things or get stabbed by prickly bushes, well I didn't really enjoy those bits.  Let me tell you, recently when I opened the bottom of the compost bin to be confronted with cobwebs, I quickly put the door back on and there it may stay until my next brave moment (could be never) arises.

I have donned gardening gloves though and gotten my hands dirty and it's actually so fulfilling to be able to transform your own space.  One of the main things I've changed was removing both boring big bins from my back garden to put them around to the front door space which no one ever uses, we live in a weird street and literally, the only person who ever comes to the front door is the postman.  We have no garden just a little pavement with no boundary apart from a small brick wall to the side so it's the perfect place which doesn't get any sun to store both bins and it's given me an extra 2 metres of usable garden with no fear of sitting out having to smell a stinky bin when the heat hits in mid-summer.

This month brought great excitement as the arbour I had been saving for, (for almost 2 years since I first spotted it on Amazon) finally arrived, I cannot tell you how happy this had made me and at every opportunity I have been out there sitting in it, it turns out it shelters you completely from the wind so I've already managed a couple of afternoons just whiling away the hours.

I've also just bought a Chiminea after several weeks of thought about what to do with a small firepit I had and also wanting to buy a bigger BBQ because I cook outside as often as possible during the fairer months of the year.  The compromise of a Chiminea seems perfect because it's a grander way to keep warm whilst also offering a grill which swings out

I've also been working out what we can do with our path, at first I thought I would gravel it but that would involve raising the height of the path, and chopping a bit off the gate and really, it took an hour and 3 people to get two hanging baskets attached to the fence!!  I fell down a Pinterest rabbit hole to find beautiful painted concrete paths and so that's what I'm going to do, multi-coloured bright squares of happy colours which should last all year around.  Looby also wants to paint the arbour but I'm happy to keep it just as it is, at least for a little while.

The next steps are to either bark or put slate chippings on the garden to make it look prettier and help suppress the weeds, I don't get too many but when feeding the birds they're always dropping seeds and trying to start their own Wimbledon-esque lawns and I seriously do not have room for lawn!

I also want 1 more chair, probably an egg chair which will sit outside the door to the left, there's just enough space if I juggle a little and yesterday a kind person brought me some bricks which I've edged the left side of the garden with, I'd like to grow succulents in the small brick holes so that's yet another project for summer and my path, as I've already discussed, I just hate it but if I don't paint it, I haven't a clue what to do with, in a perfect world I'd have pebbles and wooden slats as a pathway but I think it might be too complicated to achieve on my own, I'm getting quite good at gardening but I'm a long way from being Alan Tichmarsh!

April Roundup - Fabulous products you'll want to indulge in!

It's time for my monthly roundup of what's good and great out there in the world and this month was all about refreshing, wether that be your look, your garden or your home, it's only a short roundup this month, Easter and Mother's Day both being in March meant a bumper round up and I found my inbox to be a much quieter and calmer place although I was still sent a handful of gorgeous products.

I always think of April as the opener to the year, we've suffered through winter and now spring is here at last although if you live in the UK like me you're probably still imagining that we're in the throws of the most grim winter we've ever known.  Hopefully these products might make you smile, and some might even make you want to run outdoors, although, I'd take an umbrella with you if I were you.

1. Small Window Box in Hampstead Lead from Bay and Box, Now I should say that I had plans to have these planted up already but oh my the weather, I have 2 of these boxes and yes, we're growing our own funky veg in them, I think you're going to have to stay tuned to see what we do with them.  They're actually planned to go on brackets on the wall but even the gardener dismayed at the weather, once that sunshine comes though, they're going to look fabulous. I'm ordering an Arbour for the garden so it's a big transformation project, we really do need the weather for it though.

2.Cable and Cotton Fairy Lights, I love fairy lights, I have them all over my house and it's only a couple of weeks ago when I decided to take down the icicle lights to replace them with these beautiful rainbow lights from Cable and Cotton, the best thing about this brand is that you can have any colour combination you want, in all honesty, I haven't quite decided if they're going to stay in the lounge, they're USB powered so they have to stay in the house but they could go out doors for short periods when I'm entertaining and I think they'd look amazing.

3. Sweeties and Treats from Haribo, the darlings at Haribo sent these for the March guide but sadly they arrived just after it had been published so I wanted to include them in April, I mean just because it's past Easter doesn't mean you can't get some spring themed games on the go, it is the long Easter holidays currently and anything to entertain the kids is a good thing!

4. Buff Infinity Scarf - Lastly, my good friends over at Buff sent me an infinity scarf and I can't tell you how handy this has been during all of the cold and rainy/snowy weather we've been experiencing, it's snuggly and warm and huge and it's certain to last me for many years to come on my many dog walking adventures with Holly Bobbins, did I mention that Buff do a dog wear section?!

So there you are, short but sweet but wonderful, thanks to all of the companies involved, my monthly roundup could not happen without you.