I've known Elanor since I first met her at her friends, Nina and Stephens, wedding many years ago, through the wonder of Facebook we connected and then she came to work for me.  We had many adventures together, supported each other during some pretty tough times and what started as a chance meeting at a wedding ended up in a friendship I am so grateful for.  A couple of years ago she left me for pastures new in Doncaster, she was in a course to take over the world in the career she works so hard at and so when she told me about meeting a lovely man I couldn't have been happier for her, in Mark she has found someone completely different, someone who loves and embraces her and someone who adores her gorgeous girls.

They married in Disney in May and invited Abigail and I to go down to Doncaster, stay over, party with them and also just take a few important photos.  I've since heard that for months all Elanor talked about was one photo, the first dance photo, something which became a signature shot for me for a couple of wedding seasons, it's an off camera flash shot and on many occasions Elanor was the one on the other side of the couple with the flash trying to get this very special shot.  I know how much she wanted this and this shot is not an exact science, so many variables and things which mean sometimes having all of the technical stuff right you just can't guarantee you're going get it.

Did I get it?

  Of course I did, luck was on my side and Abigail did a great job of being the flash holder!

It's always the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to photograph your friends but although I've photographed a lot of friends I've not shot a lot of their weddings, being the age I am a lot of my friends were already married before I met them, I am of course holding out for their vow renewals though.

So I got that crucially important shot, we had the most wonderful day and we got so many other wonderful photographs that I thought I would share just a few with you.  I should also say that we danced, we ate cake, I had a couple of cocktails and we had the most brilliant time celebrating the love these two have found.  In each other they have found the love they always wished for and I hope that every day continues to be amazing for them, I may not see Elanor as much as I'd like but she and her gorgeous girls will always have a place deep inside my heart.

Why Single Equals Successful For Me

I think in this life I've worked out that I can either be successful or I can have movie love and here's why, relationships get in the way of focus, or certainly my focus, you see I'm a passionate bohemian and I can only focus on one thing at a time so I either put my all into my work or into a relationship. Yes this was truly a problem when I was married and of course all relationships deserve 110% in the way of effort but if you look at those rare occurrences where couples achieve success and movie love what you mostly find is that one person is incredibly supportive whilst the other is building success and then the pay off is in later years when you get to enjoy the fruits of your labour.

I think it may just be my makeup in that to succeed I have to be single minded, wholly determined and totally focused and the rewards are absolutely worth it, not just for me but also for my children and don't get me wrong, no man (or woman) is an island and I'm lucky to have a group of friends who are super supportive and we all push each other to achieve successes.  There is a difference of course because you don't spend 24/7 with friends, I work about 12-17 hours some days but I still have time to go out and walk my dog, get some sunshine on my face and have dinner with friends but then because I'm single I get to go home, work for an hour or two in pyjamas and there's no one to disturb me, I love it, to me success is the healthiest drug alive.

I wonder though if it would have been different if I was single all my life and still childless, would I be more ready to sacrifice success.  I guess I'm lucky, I was married for 15 years and for 10 of them I had movie love.  I have 3 beautiful children that I adore (mostly when they're not being teenage screaming banshees as I mentioned the other day) and I have a thriving, growing business I can concentrate on (and don't forget Holly Bobbins) and grow as much as I want to, currently I have no need for anything other than the things I have and I'm happy, I go to bed and my sleep monitor asks me every day how stressed I've been during the day, it's been months since I was last stressed out during the day (random anxiety excepting).

I'm not ruling myself out of love in the future forever but I need to make sure my children and I are not just financially secure but that we can also do those extra things which make life complete, holidays, days off and time out are still essential in any successful business and although I do work a lot I also have no problem with taking time to shut the Macbook and leave my desk and get out there into life with my kids or friends or even on my own with Holly Bobbins.

The best thing of course is the kind of varied work I do now, the ability to combine business with pleasure, my travels and collaborations provide a new challenge with every day, I've managed to combine writing and photography which has lead to the most amazing experiences and I get to sometimes share those with my children and my friends and although Looby might complain that mammy makes everything into a photo shoot what she doesn't get is that if it wasn't for the blogging, the writing or the photography then mammy and Looby might not have been given the opportunity to be there in the first place!

Enjoy More Water Challenge Sponsored By Robinsons

Looby often comes out with obscure statements but one of my most favourite and a sign that something had to be done was "I don't like water, it makes my mouth dry" I'd instructed her on that occasion to have some water because we'd ran out of pop, at that moment I knew I had to make some changes so we took a vow to stop drinking pop, I can't tell you how bad my sleeping patterns were when I was drinking diet cola drinks every day!

It's such a challenge to get Looby to drink water and she's such an active 12.5 year old "tweenager" she's either cartwheeling, tumbling, riding, playing sports, doing Yoga, and sometimes I come into the living room at half seven in the morning and she's already doing handstands against the door, the window, the chairs, I wish I had her energy!  She's even got Holly in on the act, Holly Bobbins loves a bit of Doga!

When Robinsons got in touch to ask if I'd like to take part in their #enjoymorewater challenge I knew I had the perfect reason, Looby!

Robinsons kindly supplied us with a pack of all of their Squash'd juices and a chart with stickers, we decided together that Looby was way too mature and sophisticated to stick stickers to a chart (yes, the teenager is rising, I spoke about that yesterday) but over the last 2 weeks something close to a miracle has actually happened, she loves the Robinsons Squash'd and actually so do I because it takes up a lot less room than the big bottles of Robinsons we usually use and it's no added sugar meaning it's way better for us than pop and it adds some flavour to water and sometimes you just want to add flavour to your water, even I get bored with plain water and when I do buy these from the supermarket at least I don't have to worry about the weight!

Looby gave me a full run down on this summers upcoming sporting competitions we'll be holding during the summer holidays, a tennis championship and she's determined to master the art of badminton too, couple that with the fact that she's already told me that she's going to be spending extra time at the stables with her favourite horses and I'm glad we had the chance to take part in this challenge, I'm happy to know that she's at last drinking the right amount of water, as you know you can't talk to "tweenagers" so if you can just magically find a way to get them to do what you want so that they think that they came up with the idea themselves then you are a parental genius.

There is one thing you can't plan for though and that's a small beagle running off with your tennis ball, we're never getting that ball back now!

This post is an entry for BritMums #EnjoyMoreWater Challenge, sponsored by Robinsons

Why It Sucks to Parent Teenagers

When the kids are young you constantly find yourself wishing they'd be just that little bit older, because whilst you can't effectively communicate with a 2 year old who's got the wrong colour lollipop there's always a chance that when they're older you can have a proper conversation, one where you sit down, discuss the reasons for their being no red lollipops left and then everything ends harmoniously and we all have lashings of Ambrosia creamed rice... And then, the teenage years happen!

When Iain was a teenager I don't remember having too many issues, yes the Aspergers has lead to some interesting times, like the one where I gave him an envelope, told him to buy a stamp and post the letter, he came back without the letter and a stamp, "Well you didn't tell me to put the stamp on the letter before I posted it" he retorted.  Lesson 1, learnt, always think as literally as possibly when you have a child with Aspergers!

The moment that Abigail became a teenager she instantly hated me, it was like there was a secret "I must hate my mum" recipe contained within those scary hormones that turn perfectly delightful people into psychopathic screaming banshees (this is the main reason I no longer have hormones other than the kind that come in small round tablets).  I remember once turning up at school to pick up Abigail with her dad, she got in the car, saw me and asked in a very cutting voice "What's she doing here?"  That wasn't even the worst of it, for about a year I'm not even sure she said anything other than insults other than the days when the hormones would subside and she would tell me she was sorry, it was just hormones and she loved me really.  I lived for the breaks in the moods, she's 14 now and she loves me, she is still blunt enough to look at my face and describe everything that's wrong with it but she's also kind, polite, says the most wonderful things about me and spending time with her is a complete joy!

So we come on to child number 3, Laura or Looby as I like to call her or Jereld as she likes to refer to herself, Looby is 12 and a half, 13 in September and the hormones have swept in taking away my delight of a daughter, my funny onion, my child who expresses her love for me the most.  She's been replaced by what I can only describe as a moody, screaming, door slamming, angry, often monosyllabic (unless she's talking about horses and riding) demon who just disagrees with everything I say.  I can't remember one conversation lately which didn't end up in a fight or in her slamming my bedroom door so hard (it's never hers) that she knocks all the canvases on the staircase off the wall.  I remind myself that this too shall pass, I have to remind myself often as it's increasingly hard to deal with and being a single parent means she's in that phase where daddy is amazing, she wants to be there where she can do whatever she wants because I'm a bad mother, a working mother who works too hard and never does anything fun or spends enough time with her, this would seem to be this weeks fight and I've tried to remind her that I'm only cramming work in this week so I can spend time with her next week after she has her 3rd round of surgery on Monday!  Just like Abigail before her though there are times when the hormones subside and she'll hug me and tell me she loves me and say she's sorry, it's not her, it's just hormones, she hates hormones!

I've felt for a long time now that girls are easier to photograph but boys are much easier to parent and for once it's definitely oestrogen that wholly gets the blame for this life stage!  If you're reading this and nodding along because you too have teenagers you wrangle with on a daily basis then you have my sympathy, if however you have cute little people who occasionally flail around and scream because teddy isn't smiling the way he usually does then I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but it's just going to get worse before it gets better!

The Kingslodge Inn, Durham, A Great Dog Friendly Pub

Last week Holly Bobbins and I were invited to go and try out the newly revitalised, refreshed and refurbished Kingslodge Inn which is 5 minutes from the city centre in Durham, that's a 5 minute walk so easily accessible if you're in Durham with your dog and what a blessed relief because there are not nearly enough places you can take your dog with you in the city of Durham, especially on rainy days. Holly and I love a wander around the historic city but when it comes to dog friendliness they have a long way to go to equal Newcastle upon Tyne.

The Kingslodge Inn though could not have been more welcoming to Holly, the bar area and the outdoor courtyard area is dog friendly with large dog bowls outside and a treat for every well behaved dog who comes into the bar, whilst we were there we met an adorable puppy who was with his charming owners, they confirmed with us just how lovely the pub is both for food and bringing your four pawed friends along.

The menu is expansive and I really was spoiled for choice, I plumped for the Brie for starters, Lemon Chicken for mains and the most amazing home made chocolate cheesecake, a gooey, chocolate mouse like cheesecake which tasted like heaven.  The meals come in man sized portions to satisfy even the heartiest of appetites and everything is served up with a smile from the friendly waiting staff.  For mains my lovely friend Harriet decided to sample the Moule Frites and she certainly wasn't disappointed by the pretty pot of lovingly cooked shellfish put before her.  All of the food is prepared from fresh, something that you can really taste, no reheated microwavable meals here just great cooked food which are as much a feast for the eyes as they are for the tummy.  The lemon sauce on the tempura fried chicken was superb, just zesty and sweet enough for my tummy ensuring that I needed to go home and go for a run to work off the yummy calories, we even indulged in a bottle of the house white which was delicious, fresh and served at just the right temperature.

The big question is will Holly and I return, the resounding answer is yes, it's accessible enough to get the train to Durham and walk, there's a dog walk just behind the hotel and although I didn't see any kids in when we visited I'm assuming they're going to be just as friendly to the little ones as they are to the waggy tailed ones.  Now at least when we go for Durham walkies we won't have to wander for hours, sometimes in the rain searching for that gem of a dog friendly, child friendly place to go with a lovely cosy atmosphere with great food, in the Kingslodge Inn we have found just that and I can't wait to have a night away at their sister hotel, the King's Head Inn which sits just at the base of Rosebery Topping in Yorkshire in just a couple of weeks with my lovely friend Laura.  We're happy and delighted to include both hotels in Holly Bobbins Dog Friendly North East .

Harriet, Holly and I were invited to try a 3 course meal with wine in exchange for an honest review, these are my honest words, photographs and a big full tummy which really did require a run afterwards.

Be The Success In Your Own Life

I don't know about you but just lately I feel there's been a change in the air, suddenly everything seems to be working for me, I feel happier, healthier, more confident and more successful than I've ever been before.

So many doors have opened for me in the last couple of months, maybe because at last I feel in total control of my own destiny and whilst I know that I've still a long way to get to where I want to be I also feel like I am making the right decisions to help me get there.

I've got some new projects I'm going to be working on over summer, teaching pupils to be the business ninja in their startups at School of Tech and helping women get their whole brand image in just one day with Business Who? To Business You!

Whilst at the heart of it I'll always be a photographer it feels right to pass on knowledge now, my blog was 10 years old in February and Mandy Charlton Photography will be 9 years old on the 22nd of June.

I've had some amazing success, I've made some stupid mistakes but I'm more resilient than ever before, I'm human enough to say "yeah, I did that too" but I'm motivating enough to also say to people "come on, be the success in your business"  You see only you can be the success in your own life, it doesn't mean making the most money or being the most powerful business woman (or man) that ever there was, it's about being happy, being positive, inspiring others and pushing forward, taking things in new directions if necessary, you can be your own hero, you can be your own success. If you have children they'll always believe you are a superstar, to your pets you will always be the most important person and if you have a partner and family who have stuck by you and who push you on no matter what then every time you make them proud that's validation that you are a success.

You don't have to be happy in every moment of your life but your life is far too short to be unhappy. Stay away from negativity, from rain cloud people, from narcissists and saboteurs.  Don't entertain people who make you sad or treat you with passive aggressive distain because you are worth more than that.

If you are reading this today and you've just been offered a challenge, a progression, an opportunity then think of the words of Richard Branson, go forth and screw it, just do it.  To fail is to not try, if you try and you fail you've learned something, if you don't do anything you'll never ever know what might have happened and you never know, your new path might be the best thing you've ever done whether that be personally or professionally.

In the last few months I've taken on several new projects, I've started running, I've lost weight, I've trimmed down and I've smiled mostly every day, there's one thing for sure and I feel I am the success in my own life and nothing can stop me now!

The Running Man(dy)

After my last run, I look fine, I smiled the whole time!

About a month ago if anyone had asked me if I ever ran I would have laughed at them, run? me? Not even for the bus if I can help it I would have wittily retorted.  It's just not something I thought I would like, I'd seen runners, they were sweaty, they were out of breath and they just looked knackered.  

Now lets fast forward to today and I'm just about to move onto week three of the C25K program and you know what?  I absolutely love it. I smile the whole way around, especially at passers by (yeah, look at me, I'm a runner, heehee) Ok, so we're at the end of week two and that means I have a brisk warm up walk for 5 minutes and then I run for 90 seconds and then walk for 2 minutes and repeat for a total of 20 minutes followed by a warm down walk for another 5 minutes at the end.  I can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to be able to do this at the tender age of 42 and a half, I feel like Paula Radcliffe.  My coach on the podcast is Jo Wiley, she's been there you know, she knows how it feels.  I did start with Sarah Millican and then, well, she just wasn't all that motivating really, I later read somewhere that she was eating crisps whilst recording the podcasts but I'm not sure if that was true or a rumour.

It's funny how your mindset can be changed by exercise and I do feel that I was in a place where I was ready to start running, I was already walking ten to fifteen thousand steps a day and I was definitely outpacing Holly on our daily walks, even when we have our power hour walks, incidentally as soon as I put on my running gear she hides in her crate and growls at me, she knows, this isn't some kind of leisure jaunt (well except it is really) this is serious running business.

The first run, I did literally feel like I was dying at the end of it, possibly why I'm glowing!

Whilst you might imagine I have a playlist containing lots of dance music with heavy beats you might be surprised to find that I like running to musicals, they keep me at a pace which is slow enough not to exhaust or kill me and I quite like running over the brow of a hill whilst listening to a crescendo in the music, trust me it works, I do however admit that I also quite like running to Disney, bouncy happy music and sometimes, just sometimes I run to David Guetta but don't tell anyone I told you that or you'll ruin my reputation.

Another thing I've obviously had to embrace is running gear, I've never owned so much lycra, if you'll allow me to, let me transport you to the world of Karrimor Run, I absolutely love the stuff and it's so cheap from Sports Direct, I have 3 pairs of Karrimor Run trainers, my excuse is that Looby can also use them as we have the same size feet.  Oh and one other thing, if you are a woman of ample bosom, you might want to consider the humble shock absorber sports bra, it keeps my boobs where they are supposed to be and being an F cup I really do need it.

I'm going to share regular posts about me, The Running Man(dy), hopefully it might just inspire more people of my age to take up running or any age and size in fact, running isn't just for the teeny tiny sporty ones, there are so many people out there doing the same program you are more likely to get encouragement from others in the park than you are to be heckled, there's a running revolution out there you know and that makes me feel good, I just wish I'd shown as much respect to my body in my 20's and 30's!

I have of course still got a very long way to get to 30 minutes of solid running but you know what, I feel like I've got this, I set myself challenges all of the time in my life, work and business and mostly I succeed!

I use affiliate marketing to facilitate the feeding of my children, I also write great content just because I care and I want to inspire more people to get active and to get out there!