Saturday came and with it came the rain, the freezing temperatures and the high winds, a good day to stay indoors, my photo shoots were all rescheduled and I have to hope and pray that tomorrow brings fairer weather for the planned 6 hours of photo shoots.
This week has been a strange one, I have been so busy with events and work that it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye, another week closer to Christmas, another week passed in my life.
Another week of being single and I don't wish to dwell too much but in choosing to upgrade my dating site plan for 3 months it has opened a Pandoras box, it has shown me that there are many men out there in the world who would like to be with me, for one night, for one week, some perhaps permanently but only if I am willing to compromise more than my heart and head will allow. It's weird because it would seem that the certain types who like me are all bald, chubby and communicate without even a single vowel. Now I love grammar and a fully formed sentence but please don't think I am the grammar police, a little misspelling or the odd wrongly placed punctuation mark doesn't bother me and Hell, they're all crimes I have made myself. The problem is that we're talking about fully grown men who have the inability to even write one sentence without shortening several words so that they look like hieroglyphics. "a lyk xmas" for example isn't an acceptable turn of phrase which appeals to someone like me.
I like Shakespeare, I like poetry, I am a writer and I love the romance of the English language, I don't have a degree in it, it's just something I've learned and worked hard to learn, surely by the time you get to your thirties or forties you can write a legible sentence?
Maybe I am just being pernickety, maybe I am looking for faults so that I don't have to go out on dates, one man, for instance, sent me properly formed words and sentences, but then he also described himself as "boring, not a looker, don't go out much" well excuse me if I don't jump up and down with excitement when you ask if I want to exchange numbers.
I was speaking to a lovely lady yesterday who said pretty much the same about the average man on a dating site, text speak in 95% of the cases or conversations which begin with "hiya sexy" or "hi" well what do you want me to come back to you with after those openings?
Look, here's the thing, I've tried dating the sparkly box without any contents but at the end of the day, a box no matter how sparkly it is, is really just a box! I think I am coming to the decision that after this 3 month period (yes, dating sites don't like to you to sign up for less than that, I wonder why?!) I definitely won't be renewing and I am just going to have to wait with much patience for someone, who no matter how far away they are, can speak to my mind, someone who can write eruditely, someone who can make me laugh, someone who can make me feel whether it's in written or spoken form, my heart and mind both need to be stimulated just as I want to find someone who I can do the same with, after all, I don't think someone who writes in text speak is going to be impressed when I on a sudden whim write a poem or a love letter and I am at heart an old romantic who might feel inspired to do such a thing with the right person.
Sometimes when we feel overwhelmingly lonely there's a temptation to just settle and be with someone because someone is better than no one, and in those moments where I feel so alone and my heart aches I know I could so easily take the same path but then I remind myself that I, myself, who has come so far cannot compromise on anything less than my kind of perfect, my kind of perfect isn't actually perfect but they're perfect for me and you, yes you, right there reading this, well you should only settle for Mr or Mrs absolutely perfect for you too.