Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places. Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger. Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Friday, January 11, 2019

10 Things I've learnt after 45 years on the earth

In just a couple of weeks I'll reach the great age of 45 years old, I'm part grateful and part stunned that I've actually made it through life so far.  I actually attach some disbelief to the age tag because since I was around 16 I've always imagined myself as 35.  I'm not sure if anyone else does this but I feel like I've always been in my mid thirties and the thought of reaching the next age category on many surveys, well it's a little daunting.  I'll be officially slipping over the boundary and sliding into the great age of 50 and I'm not sure I'm ready to accept that.

The sun setting over the cote d'azur,, the sun setting over the last 45 years of my life, mandy charlton, photographer, blogger, writer


Over the years though you learn a thing or two and once you're over 40, people tend to actually listen to you because maybe you've picked up a gem or two.  Just lately though (and maybe this is the gift of 45) I feel like I've learned more about myself than ever before.  Rather than ramble too much though here's just 10 things I've learnt in my first 45 years on the earth.

1. To a narcissist you will never be good enough and it doesn't matter what ever you do to try and attain that persons love, even if at times they build you up so highly you think you can't be loved any more, in those times, the higher they build you, the farther you have to fall when you do something they disagree with.  Just know that you are truly good enough at all times and turn your attention to others who see and appreciate your true value.

2.  Learning to love yourself is the most important thing you'll ever do, it's also the hardest, especially if you have spent years being knocked down by others but as the great Ru Paul tells us "If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you going to love anyone else?"

3.  Even the most neglected things can be resurrected with just a little bit of love and nurture, we all have times when we're so busy we forget about the little important things, like watering the houseplants but worry not, they'll still be there and will thank you for the extra attention by blooming back into life.

4.  You should always be happy working in your own business, yes there will be troubling times and challenges to conquer but if you're not happy in your own business then something is seriously wrong, after all, many people are unhappy working for others so they start their own businesses, why would you ever do things in that, that you don't want to do.

5.  In life and work you cannot do everything, outsource, outsource, outsource!

6.  You cannot change anyone else but by changing yourself you can bring about changes in others as they bend and mould to your changes.

7.  It is better to be happy and single with a dog than sad in a relationship.

8.  It is not the number of friends you have but the quality of the friendships which counts.

9.  Never give up on your dreams because you may just find them in the most unexpected places.

10. Don't ever beat yourself up for past mistakes, to err is human but every new day is a gift where we can start again trying to always be the best version of ourselves.

I'm sure in the next 45 years (hopefully, the females in my family seem to live for a very long time) I'll discover much more wisdom and many more truths about myself and others, I'm certainly not as scared of becoming 45 on February the first as I was to become 40 and actually I know why that is now, my life fell apart with my marriage when I was 40, well going into 45, I'm happy, I'm single, I have Holly Bobbins, my awesome teenagers and my brilliant and wonderful friends surrounding me.  I mean, how bad can that be, eh? 
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