I should also say that Mamma is translating this post for me because I speak in Beaglease and Mamma says if I wrote in my native tongue that the Grammar Police would be crying in their tea-cups and I'd probably be arrested for crimes against English!
So, anyway, there I was just sniffing out some new "swucculent swocks" off the clothes horse and Mamma said "Holly, it's the second anniversary of your gotcha day today and I think you should tell the world your story" So I left the tasty freshly washed garments and I came upstairs to tell Mamma my story and of course you, Mammas readers, I do not really understand what Blogging is but my Mamma is pretty good at it apparently, at least that's what she says, my mamma says a lot of things...
So lets go back to 2 years ago and I can't remember much before I was taken from the sad home of the people who couldn't keep me to spend a night with the lovely people at Beagle Welfare, those people work so hard looking after all of the unloved and lonely beagles and they try to find them new homes filled with love. I was very lucky because I was 5 months old and quite frankly I was adorable and completely irresistible.
On the day I came to live with Mamma and my human brothers and sisters I had to travel in the back of a van for 6 hours, 6 hours, can you imagine that? Now when I travel with Mamma I usually go in first class, it's well known that I am a V.I.B. that's Very Important Beagle just in case you were wondering.
Anyway, once I got to Mammas I walked into her kitchen and she looked at me and said "Hello Holly, I love you" Now I was called Popcorn until that point so I did wonder if there was another beagle hiding around the corner but no, she changed my name and I was on a path to becoming Holly Bobbins, the celebrity beagle.
Since I came to live with Mamma we have been on so many adventures, I have reviewed hotels and luxury accommodations befitting of the best beagles and I have been on buses, trains, and boats, I love going out in Auntie Hawwiets car because we always go on adventures and sometimes (well more often than Mamma would like to admit) we go to my favourite pub The Northumberland Hussar where I always seem to see Auntie Hawwiet and Auntie Kelly, they are my favourite aunties and I get very excited and wag my tail a lot every time I see them.
I can't imagine living with anyone else other than Mamma, I might have eaten through all of her floor tiles and most of her wooden furniture but she still loves me the most in the whole wide universe and of course she has to because I am the best beagle. I do however have a couple of strange habits, those being eating pieces of wood, stealing "swocks" and sometimes I'll pinch anything I can get my paws on, I love an open handbag and I'm very good at putting my nose in to get out the treasure.
Every night I sleep on Mamma's bed and do you know that the last couple of nights I have had to share with some naughty cats, I don't like those cats, they're always stalking me and swiping at me and eating my dinner before me, Mamma always tells me "Cats are friends not food" I'm not sure they are friends, though, they're a sinister bunch.
At the moment I don't have a daddy but that's ok, Mamma says one day she's going to find someone who will love her and someone who will give me pats and strokes and then I can sit in the middle of them on the sofa while they give me extra tummy rubs, my mamma has the biggest heart in the world you know, I have offered to find the perfect daddy for me because I can sniff him out, I like hairy men best of all because the ones with shiny heads make me bark, people without any hair are scary, especially the big ones, my mamma says the same thing and she must be right because she's quite clever for a human. Mamma, however, says she's taking care of the dating because it's rude to just go and sniff random hairy men, I've tried it in the past and Mamma did not approve!
I don't know what is going to happen in the future but Mamma is always telling me that it's very exciting and next year is going to be the most brilliant year but, to be honest, she says things like that a lot and I don't care, as long as there are pats and cuddles and "swossidges" and "swocks" I'll always be a happy beagle.
I think I might have a future in writing, maybe I could get a job at the "Wuffington Post"...
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