I've had seasonally affective disorder for as long as I can remember but in the last 10 years of being a photographer and self employed I find it's the only month of the year when I want to hide myself away and hibernate until spring. I've found throughout the years that I have formulated various coping strategies ranging from actually hiding way like a hermit until the light improved to going out as much as humanly possible, I bet you can guess which worked best.
I recorded a video out there yesterday morning in the snowy sub zero temperatures but I would have had to walk Holly Bobbins anyway and I wanted to embrace the snow, feel some light on my face and get my circulation going.
This is the start of my weekly vlogs and I hope that you'll tune in either here or over on my YouTube channel
Obviously as we get further on I hope that my videos will improve but at the same time I think I just want to keep it as one woman sharing her thoughts on life, love and everything in between, it's the same as my blog really but now you'll be able to see me a little more.
The best thing about my job and my life as it is now is the travel element, I'm due to go away to a luxury cottage for a weekend in Alnmouth on a travel assignment at the end of January and I can't wait to share that with you in photos, in writing and also in video. I've recorded video snippets throughout the last 10 years, my favourites are the ones of the girls growing up, especially the ones of Looby in our living room when she was a tiny dot, I did those with my first ever video enabled camera, it wasn't even a DSLR, it was a Fuji bridge camera which was terribly heavy and really not very good, I only had it for about 6 or so months before getting my very first DSLR, a Canon 350D, fond memories...
When I think about the way I live my life now I notice the one big change that brought about so many other little changes, it wasn't becoming a single parent in so much as it was about becoming myself and the arrival of a certain 4 pawed arooing beagle by the name of Holly Bobbins, I love my dog, she truly healed me in many ways than one, she saw inside my heart and reached into my soul and embraced every inch of her human mummy. I will never stop being grateful for her love.
I still have seasonally affective disorder now but I have great friends who come over and with whom I go out with and I go out and make my legs work and my heart pump when I walk Holly in the park, sometimes I even get that winter sunshine on my face and I can feel it tingling in my soul promising me that one day soon the warmth of spring will return once more and I'll feel on top of the world.