Brighter days are coming she repeated to herself, not sure whether it was a manifestation or a mantra...

It's been a tough start to the year and I'm so exhausted that yesterday I went to meditate and I woke up 2 hours later, I thought that might wreck my sleeping patterns but it seems that chronic fatigue is currently the order of the day and I could possibly win the Gold medal for sleeping for England.

My health is a joke, as are my finances but I keep pushing myself onwards knowing that I have weddings this year and in a month or so I'll start receiving income from those and so I just need to get there.  On paper, I have 2 potentially successful businesses, one of which was super successful before the pandemic and one which is still a startup but has the most amazing potential if I could just grow the audience past the 3000 or so people I've attracted in the last 18 months.  At first, when I started the boutique I had the money for advertising thanks to the government but now as I try to stop direct debits from bouncing and my covid debts spiralling it really feels like a long way from where I want to be.

There is no answer, of course, I live on a weekly food waste hamper I get from a local charity for £15, as frugally as possible and each week I scramble to pay my rent and top up my energy meters before they run out of money.  I went over to PAYG energy a few years ago because of the lean winters as a photographer and it does help to have no big bills but right now, it's like a battle.

I am doing everything I can to push each business and I hope to take on a few more weddings this year, I think I have around 15 now and I'd like to reach 25-30 if possible because weddings are guaranteed income (lockdowns allowing of course).  I was going to retire completely at the end of the year but I've decided to keep my hand in and just photograph some smaller weddings next year, 2,3,4 hour bookings, perfect for me really.  I am still really good at what I do, I just need to get through the pre-wedding anxiety which has me in knots.  When I get there I love it, I am the least anxious person there thanks to my superpower.  It's weird how my brain works.

This week, on Friday, I am going to see my doctor, I want to get reassessed to see if I have ADHD, I did an online test where I scored 11/12 and 6/6 so I think it's probable, suffice to say, I think there's also a possibility that I could win an award for the most screwed up unquiet brain in Britain but hey, at least I get uber creativity as a reward.  I also want to sort out my weight, I am unhappy in my current body but need help as the traditional things don't work so I'm going to have a chat about Saxenda and see what the process is for that, I'd like to be a whole new person by the time I'm 50!

At the end of 2020 I got some travel vouchers for a collaboration I did so currently I have 2, 2 night breaks just waiting to be taken and for Mother's Day, I'm getting some train vouchers.  I plan to put the breaks to good use and take my camera to create more original photographic art I can sell through Philomena's Boutique.  to me, the boutique combines all that I love and need in my life, I get to be creative, I get to make things and I also get to complement that with things that I love, it's hard now but if I can successfully increase its audience then one day it has the potential to be incredibly successful.

I do not know what the future holds but there's one thing I am holding on to and that is that brighter days are coming...

Ways to support my writing

If you have enjoyed this article or found it useful and would like to support my writing I'd love a virtual coffee

I also have a lovely Facebook group I'd love you to come and join 

You could also come and follow me on Instagram or  TikTok keep up with my adventures, I really am grateful for all

of your love and support.

Oh and of course, you could just treat yourself to something lovely from Philomena's Boutique, my gift boutique

which is diverse, sustainable and totally lush!

Let's start again, shall we?

Let's start again, shall we?

It's been 2 months since I last wrote a single word on this blog and this blog will be 17 or 18 years old next month so it seems a shame to just quit.

The reality is though...

TikTok

Facebook

Instagram,  

They all take so much time and then juggling life, Philomena's Boutique, my new Etsy Shop, Maggie Pie Print Co, well it all just got a little overwhelming.

My main concern was getting to Christmas with some money in the bank and so I worked 12 hour days or more every single day, I hand-printed hundreds of coasters and mugs.  In December I spent £829 on postage and I ended up with not a single penny of savings.  What I had done though was changed my entire business model for the boutique.  I'm now a fully-fledged print artist and everything at the boutique is designed by me, a lot of it is also made by me but I have outsourced a lot of the T-shirts, hoodies and soft furnishings, simply because I am one woman.

It's mid-January now and things are horrible, I have crawled through the month at a snail's pace, depression, low income, it's all connected of course but in the end, I know it will all work out and by this time next year, I am determined that January will be a joyful month of rest and recuperation, not an anxiety-filled mess.

I am continuing to photograph weddings and I love them more than I did before the pandemic, last year my wedding photography calendar was around 6 weeks long, this year I hope that it will be so much better.  Put quite simply, now we are coming out of all of the restrictions we had to put in place for covid, it's time to rebuild, in fact, it's time to be better, it's time to change my life.

By the end of 2022, I want to be a fully self-supported print artist but I would still like to have the option to photograph the occasional wedding because I'm really good at it, creativity is my talent.  I have a need to be creative or simply put, I wither.

I also want to be able to travel again this year, I've picked 3 things so far that I definitely want to do - 

*I want to spend a week in London in the summer exploring, taking photos of colourful places and I want to be able to see as many musicals as I can in the week that I'm there.

*I want to take a guided 6 day tour of Scotland with Rabbies, I've done several day tours with them before but this would get me to more Scottish islands that I've not visited yet.

*Finally, I want to be able to go to Europe before the end of the year, probably one of the Canary Islands because I always feel so safe there travelling alone.

It all seems quite far off to be planning these adventures when I have no money but sometimes I think inspiring yourself to do things can help you focus and then you become more determined to make the income that you need.

Generally, I just want to add value to the world and make it a better place, that might sound weird but I've felt quiet helpless and hopeless lately and I hate feeling like that.

So let's start now, let's start here and let's start again shall we?

Family Safety: Tips for Keeping Your Car in Top Shape

Family Safety: Tips for Keeping Your Car in Top Shape

Being a parent is hard already – being a parent who has unwittingly caused an injury to their child is even more so. Make sure you keep your whole family safe on the UK's roads with the following tips to keep your car in top shape. Simple steps of caring for your vehicle go a long way and keep you and your family protected when you are out on the road. Pampering your car is definitely going to pay back and improve your car's performance.

Maintain It

Regular maintenance is the key to keeping any piece of machinery running smoothly, and your car is no different. Write up a system of checks on your vehicle, from the most cursory visual inspections to more detailed torch and touch checks (when you run your fingertips over the whole vehicle, feeling for distortions or blemishes, and use a torch to check the underside of the car and closely inspect the tyres) and adhere to it stringently.

Service It

Most vehicle manufacturers have a recommended service schedule which can be found in your instruction manual or online, on the manufacturer's website. Making sure your car is serviced regularly is another form of a maintenance schedule, albeit more intensive one, looking more deeply into your engine than you would be able to do.

MOT It

Any vehicle in the UK must have an MOT once it is three years old, and annually thereafter. The only exception is Ireland where cars are four before their first MOT. An MOT is a check of roadworthiness, designed to make sure that your vehicle is visible to other road users, can be safely controlled by you, even in the event of an emergency (so you can move to the side of the road and stop, then activating your hazard lights, for example), and that you have a clear view of the road, its environs and everyone in the vicinity. Making sure your MOT certificate is up to date is a great way to ensure that your family stays safe on the roads. If you are looking for an MOT in London or nearby, why not try Iverson Tyres – call them now on 020 8566 4666.

Plan Ahead

It is seldom a good idea to barrel into a route without some forethought and planning, especially if it is going to be a long drive. Plan your route, making sure there are rest stops and hotel breaks along the way, and also ensuring that the roads you will be using are well-maintained and will not cause damage to your car.

Drive Defensively

Finally, learn to drive defensively, actively looking out for hazards and being aware of all the other road users at all times. This might sound strenuous, but you adapt to it surprisingly quickly and fairly soon you will drive defensively as a matter of course, keeping your family safe on the roads and doing your bit towards looking after other families too!

11 gifts your friends will thank you for this Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching and so you'll be glad to hear that I have suggestions for 11 gifts your friends will thank you for this Christmas.  You see, this year, more than ever I'm consciously gifting, I'm making, I'm buying vintage and I'm only buying things for my friends that I know they'll love and want.  I've been listening out for their cues all year and now I'm happy to reveal this year's 2021 Christmas gift guide.

1. For your David Bowie loving friends check out these gorgeous prints from Ink and Drop.  Two of my oldest and dearest friends are massive Bowie fans and I'm not much further behind, I adore "We could be Heroes and I thought these two prints could be framed and go on the wall in my office/creative studio.

2. From the Wizarding World of Harry Potter comes this amazing enamel pin, Looby collects pin badges and loves Harry Potter, as does Abigail so there may be a fight between my two young adult daughters as to who gets this in their Christmas stocking on Christmas morning.

3. My friend Rachel adores peacocks and she doesn't mind a glass of champagne either so these beautiful midnight peacock design champagne flutes from Artland would be perfect for her, they're electro-plated and absolutely stunning.

4.  My daughter Abigail, lives, breathes and does not function without copious amounts of caffeine and so the worlds strongest coffee from Black Insomnia is going to ensure she is wide awake for quite some time to come.

5. My lovely friend Robyn loves to journal, in fact, she's got 2 crates of notebooks, it's definitely her thing!!  Good sleep is paramount for optimum mental health and so this end of day wellness journal from Echor is going to ensure that she can clear her mind every night before she goes to sleep ensuring only the most refreshing slumber.

6. I have loved After the Rain perfume from Arran, sense of Scotland for as long as I can remember and you know that the best gifts are the ones we give ourselves so this one is going under the tree just for me, everything Arran make is inspired by their surroundings and as you know, Scotland is my happy place so it's the perfect self-gifting opportunity for me.

7. My friend Steph, is adventure Steph, she loves a challenge and often takes herself off for the biggest, longest hikes, in fact, the longest walk I've ever done without stopping was with Steph last year when we walked to the pedestrian Tyne Tunnel during the winter lockdown.  I am sure that she's going to love this Kleen Kanteen 16oz insulated TKWide bottle which keeps drinks hot for 14 hours and cold for up to 47 hours, perfect for new year adventures in the hills.

8. I have been a convert to CBD products for a few years now and I always wonder why my anxiety is so much worse when I'm not taking them so when Alphagreen who I worked with on my 2020 gift guide got in touch about their own brand of CBD gummies and CBD oil, it's fair to say I didn't even pause, I just said yes.  I'm not a doctor and I can only speak for me personally but they really do help with my anxiety.

9. I couldn't forget Carter (who I still call Baby Carter even though he's approaching 6 years old) and inclusivity is incredibly important to me so I know that he's going to absolutely adore this selection of children's books from Little Box of Books.  I know that mum Stacey will also love this as she's on a mission to make sure that Carter grows up fully rounded and accepting of all human beings and really, she's doing such a great job.  We need more Carter's in the world.

10.  My daughter Abigail is allergic to all dairy and so when Buttermilk got in touch I knew I had to feature their brand new plant-based chocolate treats, dairy-free treats which still taste absolutely amazing, it's Christmas, we should definitely be able to indulge whether we're dairy-free, vegan or just regular old chocoholics.

11. It's Christmas and we cannot forget our beloved pets, so treats and tasty nibbles, as well as fun pet toys, arrived from Webbox for Holly Bobbins, Iris and little Maggie Pie and I know that they'll love them all, I also like that each product indicates if it's suitable for puppies or kittens.

I'd like to thank all of the participants in this year's Christmas gift guide, it's possibly my smallest guide that I've ever put out but it's also my most conscious, there's nothing here that won't be loved, used or indeed gifted and none of this would have happened without the companies who've gifted me the products wanting to be involved.  I hope that it's given you some inspiration and I hope that you have the merriest Christmas ever.

What happens when you go viral on TikTok?

You may have noticed that I have not been blogging lately and honestly, it's mostly down to TikTok.  For all of the love I have for social media, nothing has been so impactful as TikTok and as I've recently gone viral I thought I would share what actually happens when you go viral on TikTok.

I started doing TikTok for fun during the winter lockdown, I shared the walks that I was doing and my aim was to get to 1000 followers.  Within a month I accidentally had a semi-viral post of my pets being ridiculous and I started to get a few more followers, I then had a gradual build until I posted about some money-saving travel hacks and that got me to around 7000 followers, it was lovely and slow and steady and then suddenly I found my feet.

If you want to be successful on social media you need to add value or entertain, teaching people to do things in one minute or less seemed to me like a challenge and as I make things for Christmas every year I thought I would share the process.  I made a few videos that had some good views and I could see myself reaching 10,000 followers and being able to join the creator fund.  Then I posted a 1-minute Tiktok documenting myself making Rhubarb gin and everything changed.

Since I posted that TikTok on the 22nd of September my follower count has risen from just over 8k to just over 40k and that one TikTok has reached over 465000 people, let's just think about how many people that would be in real life?!!  It's not only brought me followers but it's made me the loveliest community, a community of people who love making things, who love gin and who adore Christmas.  It is the best community and if you fancy joining me I'm Mandyyourtiktokmum I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up the content ideas but honestly, the internet is so full of things you can make that I can't see me running out of ideas anytime soon.

Has it changed my life or lead to my business going viral and selling out?  No, honestly, it hasn't but I use TikTok not to push my businesses but because I've always wanted to be a creator, I love making things and I love creating content.  I do have some added extras on my profile like my shop is connected in my profile through Shopify and yes, I definitely get sales that way but I would never encourage anyone to go viral on TikTok with the expectation that it's going to skyrocket their business.  It might do in certain circumstances and it really depends on what your TT that goes viral is all about.  

In the future I'd love to teach people how to make things, it's where I began all those years ago working in the craft industry.  Abi moves out at the end of this week and I'm turning that room into my craft room.  I plan to make things not just for me but also for Philomena's Boutique I've bought a Cricut, and I have managed to get my hands on a second-hand dye-sublimation printer and my next work purchase is going to be a mug press and T-Shirt/Bag press.  I can't wait to be more creative, especially as the winter is coming and my Jan-March calendar is never all that busy.

Am I worried that in January people will stop watching my content?  Not really because I'm building up a community that is all about making (and gin) and we can make things together all year round.  Handmade things aren't just for Christmas.  Plus I know how to add value in so many areas, I have been practising for this moment for years on other forms of social media, it's just how I happened to have found my people on TikTok.

Between various forms of social media and my blog I can reach way over 100k people a month, in fact, the last month alone on TikTok I've reached around 1 million people in total and we're only just at the start of video content, this is only going to keep growing over the years and I am there for it, I love it all!!

Do I get trolled?  Yes, occasionally, it's the curse of social media but I just block and delete, I'm pretty laid back when it comes to such things and I have the most supportive group of cheerleading friends who are all there behind me to keep me grounded and remind me that I am enough.

So if you're missing my daily updates you can find me on TikTok and I promise to still try and find the time to write, it didn't help that I shot 5 weddings in the space of 2 weeks and I've only just come out of the editing hole I was in for a month!!  Life moves pretty fast, I heard that somewhere...

Therapy is Necessary

This is a collaborative post in association with Psymplicity

Therapy is Necessary

Therapy is important to make sure you can live your life as well as possible, whether you’re trying to overcome the stress of daily life or you’re hoping to overcome an addiction or mental illness. But despite the benefits of therapy, many people avoid it for one reason or another. Perhaps they feel embarrassed to admit they need help, or maybe they don’t want to spend the money on it. 

Why Therapy Is Necessary

Therapists aren’t just there to tell you that everything is going to be okay. Therapy can, and often does, help us through difficult periods in our lives when we need a guiding hand and a shoulder to lean on. Therapy isn’t just for those who have major issues in their lives: everyone has problems and challenges, and therapy can provide solutions where self-help books fall short. The benefits of seeing a therapist include:

Learn new coping skills -- In some cases, people turn to unhealthy habits as a way of coping with stress or traumatic events. When individuals have nowhere else to turn but themselves, these destructive behaviours may become worse without intervention from professionals with specialised training. Learning more productive ways of dealing with emotions and stressors not only promotes healthier habits but can also lead to a higher quality of life overall.

My experience with autism and bipolar disorder

I was diagnosed with both autism and bipolar disorder in my late 20s. I’ve worked hard to manage these diagnoses, but nothing beats therapy. Both conditions are chronic, so you need someone who can help you deal with the long-term. A combination of periods of therapy and good mental health medication has helped to keep the worst symptoms of bipolar at bay and helped me to learn to appreciate my technicolour neurodiverse mind.  

If you’re dealing with something similar or know somebody who is, it would be a good idea to see a counsellor. Therapy isn’t just about supporting your current mental health—it’s also about building resilience against future problems. As we age, our brains change physically and cognitively, so it makes sense that we should constantly reevaluate our self-care routines as well. Everyone needs guidance and support when they're in crisis or facing significant stressors (like losing a job). If we don't take care of ourselves mentally and emotionally we're likely going to end up mentally ill; there's no guarantee that even if you think like somebody without an illness that one won't pop up because of environmental factors such as poverty or an abusive relationship.

How to Choose a Therapist

The first step in getting therapy is choosing a therapist. It’s not as hard as you might think, but there are still some things to consider when looking into private psychiatry. How long has your prospective therapist been practising? Is he or she licensed and insured? A good rule of thumb: Don’t work with someone who isn’t qualified to do so. 

What Should I Expect From Therapy?

Your therapist isn’t there to give you advice but will encourage you to do your own deep thinking about how you can get what you want out of life. Your therapist will help you better understand yourself, other people and different types of relationships. If something in your life doesn’t feel right, therapy can be a safe place to look at why that might be so.

My life now

My life now is stable and good, I get to be creative every single day and my neurodiverse brain is content with life, I have best friends who love me for who I am and appreciate that my honesty will never let them doubt how I feel about them, the world and everything.  Not every day is plain sailing and I realise that I see the world very different from your average neurotypical person but I'm happier now than I have ever been and long may that continue!

The Big Change, Scary but Inevitable

The big change...

Change is scary but it's not something I'm scared of, I'm not scared to ask for help, I used to feel ashamed when I had to ask for help, when I didn't understand why something was happening or when something was wrong but I couldn't fix it myself.  I have learned that shame is a very personal thing, we own it, it's ours, we actually do not need to respond to it, just acknowledge that it is there.  

Just lately at Philomena's Boutique, things have not been going so well, I actually thought I was just going to close the boutique because despite all of our efforts we didn't reach our next funding target,  we're still 10% away but we did get a lot of sales during a clearance that meant we could start planning for our future. I refuse to give up just yet and though the boutique has been valued at a decent sum of money, I wanted to get it to 2 years before I even consider selling it.  The boutique was set up in such unique circumstances that maybe it isn't a forever business, maybe it was my saviour when I couldn't work as a photographer and that's okay, everything that comes into our lives is for a reason or a season.

There are a couple of things happening, big decisions I've taken, full of love and positivity for the future -

Philomena's Christmas Boutique 

The boutique is becoming Philomena's Christmas Boutique and we'll be selling everything for the festive home plus gorgeous gifts you might just want to keep for yourself, in fact, I've already placed an order with the jewellery company we used before and we have some fantastic things on the way.  No one knows and loves Christmas like I do, Christmas has been at the very centre of my calendar for many years and it's well known that I try to out Christmas myself every single year.  I throw a grand party for all of my closest friends and because we couldn't hold one last year, this year's promises to be better and bigger than ever.

My love of colour is eternal and working on my Colour My World project actively over the next 2 years  I'll be promoting the Colour my World collection through the Colour My World page but they'll still be sold on the boutique site because I can't bear to make another website, I have way too many as it is.

When we do get our new stock at Philomena's Boutique we'll be a lot like TK Maxx or Homesense, we may only get 1, 3, 6 of each product and once they're gone we can't promise to get them back against if you see something you love, you'll need to grab it immediately as we won't be holding loads of stock. We haven't yet worked out how often we'll do a restock as it depends on a few things but we'll hopefully get new things at least once a month.

Photography is back!!!

I am working more as a photographer than I was previously, I have a real love for wedding photography and I'm really good at what I do. It's amazing to be working properly again so it's all a bit of a juggle but Looby will be running the boutique mostly and I am even getting Abigail involved where possible as a way of supporting them both through further education. I'll continue to do all of the social media and the admin but with any luck, it's all going to work well.  Looby was already doing all of the orders herself anyway as her way of paying for the stabling for Sil, her horse so she's totally capable and way better at wrapping orders than I ever am!

It's probable that we may close the boutique in January for a little snooze once the usual end of season sale is done and when we come back is the big question. To me being happy is everything and so I'll just keep working towards freedom and happiness which go hand in hand.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. I will be giving away a £100 gift certificate to celebrate when we do reach our funding target which hopefully won't be too much longer, especially with all of the things on the way like vegan chocolate, beautiful eco-friendly jewellery, gorgeous Christmas decorations and things to make your home smell yummy and seasonal.  The future is much brighter than I imagined it would be this time last month so I hope you'll stick with us as we continue to rebuild what covid took away.

Ways to support my writing

If you have enjoyed this article or found it useful and would like to support my writing I'd love a virtual coffee

I also have a lovely Facebook group I'd love you to come and join 

You could also come and follow me on Instagram or  keep up with my adventures, I really am grateful for all

of your love and support.

Oh and of course, you could just treat yourself to something lovely from Philomena's Boutique, my gift boutique

which is diverse, sustainable and totally lush!