Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places, Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger, Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Love, it makes you crazy, Fact!


Why love makes you crazy, mandy charlton, photographer, writer, blogger, love, dating, mental health, bipolar


So I haven't blogged for a little while and although I would love to now reveal that the reason is something incredibly exciting and important, I have to admit that I've just had nothing to write about. Life has generally been quiet, smooth running, business has picked up, I've been working super hard and in reality, the most exciting thing I've done was seeing Iain Stirling live at The Stand, I laughed and laughed, best night out I've had this week, actually the only night out I've had this week!

So you might be wondering what's been happening in my exciting quest to find my soulmate the second time around, well, nothing, I suspect there are no eligible men left in the world, at least on the dating sites I use, I've all but given up on Tinder and Match Affinity is brilliant, it's finding people I have 80/100 of affinity with, sadly, it's not a case of my face not liking their face, I mean in some cases I'm kind of repelled by their suggestions!!

I think if I was going to invent a dating app, it would have to be a cross between Match Affinity and Tinder but more sophisticated.  Scientifically successful couples have facial symmetry and they're also matched on an attractiveness level so what you would do is describe your ideal person both physically and emotionally and then it would use its clever algorithms and come up with matches, now there would be fewer matches but the chances of them being successful would be surprisingly higher.  Now surely if we can come up with ways to find out the fundamentals of the creation of life in the universe we can find clever enough mathematicians and tech heads to make an app which actually works!

A couple of weeks ago I went to a brilliant talk about the science of love, it was fascinating, it was about digital dating and the stages of love as well as how animals approach love, I seriously love this stuff.  Did you know that every country in the world has the Tinder app, even the poorest most war-torn ones?  it's mind blowing!  I hope they're having better luck than me!

The thing is that it's spring now (thank heavens for spring) and I'm quite happy, settled and have returned to reasonably well balanced, well for me anyway  and I just don't know if I'm ready for the craziness of love, I always get to that point of maybe thinking about going on dates and then talk myself out of it and I think the reason is that I know what love does to you, love makes you crazy, chemically crazy, to get from stage 1 which is lust to get to stage 3 which is true love, you have to go through stage 2, romantic love,  stage 2 is the part which makes you crazy, it's partly obsession, it's a little stalky and this, of course, is even worse now that we have social media, who amongst us can say they haven't searched on FB for someone they've started dating?  

Romantic love makes us sick and dizzy, it makes us paranoid, it's the curse of the overthinker and yet we seek this out with our hearts and heads and minds like addicts and that's what love is, the romantic stage at least, it's an addiction! So when you couple that with your own mental health, it can often be a recipe for disaster.  You see I believe in true love but I also have bipolar and I never do anything by halves, in my life, work and almost certainly love, if I commit to something it becomes almost obsession-like and I guess that's why I do hold back, because once I've given away my emotions I literally lose the plot!!

There's no answer to this, I can't stay single for the rest of my life but I need to make sure that when I fall in love, as Nat King Cole once sang, it will be forever because I have enough crazy without tipping it over the edge with the craziness of romantic love.
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