Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places, Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger, Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Saturday, February 25, 2017

The unfortunate case of the manly man



Online dating with Eharmony, Tinder and Guardian Soulmates, does anyone read the profiles?  Mandy Charlton, Photographer, writer, blogger, dating, men, relationships, online dating


A couple of days ago, I got a match from a man who I'm going to call "The Glass Cutter" He quickly messaged me saying something about breaking the ice and I messaged back remarking that what he really needed was a ten tonne penguin, an exchange took place which was momentarily whimsical and then I had to go review Anton and Erin at the Sage, he messaged me several times and what I should have done straight away was asked the important questions - 


1. Do you like superheroes, sci-fi and Doctor Who?

2. If Metrosexual man is at one end of the scale and super butch manly man is at the other end, where would you place yourself?

3. Do you like musicals and cake?

4. Logans Run, was the carousel actually a quite brilliant form of entertainment?

If I'd asked these in the first instance then I would have quickly found out we were destined to be completely incompatible.

Oh and if you are wondering, a metrosexual who likes all of the above and knows Logan's Run is pretty much the jackpot for me, obviously some things I am prepared to compromise on, I mean, cake, well I think you're a weirdo if you don't like cake but I get that it's not a life or death decision and if it means more cake for me then I won't complain but everything else, they're pretty much staples of my average day, I can forgive someone for not having seen Logan's Run,  I get that it's kind of niche but if you don't like Doctor Who or musicals well dating me isn't even an option.

The thing is, I kind of have this written on my dating profile which begs the question?  Does anyone apart from me actually read the things people write on Tinder or is that just on Eharmony or Guardian Soulmates?  and if it is, maybe they're the sites I should be on, actually, I am on Guardian Soulmates, I've just haven't paid for a subscription but it's certainly a hub of interesting, deep, metrosexuals.

I should have known when I asked him what he did and he said he was a glass cutter, even more so when he said if he could do anything he would have been a soldier!  The thing is I have tried relationships like that before and they don't work, we politically disagree on everything, I emasculate them because I'm an independent business woman and although I might be lonely I certainly don't need to be saved by a man.

I feel what I'm doing now is somewhat groundbreaking (for me anyway) I am actively turning down men who are not suitable, I would never have done this previously for fear of spending my life alone but I've come to realise, give me Netflix and my beagle and I'm actually pretty happy, or maybe I'm just working my status as a professional part time hermit currently but sprinkle in there my best friends and I really am ok with just being on my own until I find my kind of perfect.

So, is it bad to have certain requirements or questions that you have to ask to find your kind of perfect?  I mean it's possible that I might have this all wrong and maybe I should be looking for the exact opposite of myself but somehow I think not, I have enough experience in relationships to know what does and doesn't work for me and you know what?  If you can't sing along to some of the musical numbers from Moulin Rouge or similar and you can't name at least some of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webbers greatest shows, if you can't tell me your favourite Doctor and why and if we can't have a discussion about DC vs Marvel then what in the hell are we going to talk about for the next 20 years?
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