Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places, Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger, Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Friday, January 20, 2017

Why Pickled Onions Will Never Be Cake...


Tardis Cake, because cake is always the answer, Mandy Charlton, Photographer, writer, blogger


Let's face it, the darkest days of January are no fun for anyone, I know that Sweden, Denmark etc are busy embracing their Hygge but I'm not sure it's ever going to translate to Britain really, I think we the British, well, we sort of excel when things get a bit "whiny" shall we say, if people ask us how we're doing we say "oh, I'm ok" and then we quickly find things we can complain about like the weather, the light levels, the fact that it's not yet spring, things that deflect from why we're actually unhappy.

I feel right now that I need some sunshine, in 9 days I'm off to London to meet Mr F and currently I am as pale as a cucumber and my hips have about an extra stone of sponge cake on them, my quest to lose a stone in the first few weeks of January failed in style, don't get me wrong either, this week, as advised by the bouncy slimming world lady I swapped cake for pickled onions (yes, she really did suggest that) did it work?  Well erm, no, actually I put 3lb on when I weighed in last night, I am currently a rotund barrel of pickled onions, I hope Mr F likes a barrel-shaped jar of pickles in lady form.

I'm going, to be honest, actually meeting Mr F in the flesh (gosh that sounds ruder than it's meant) is currently feeling 52% exciting and 48% full on terrifying, I mean up until now, we've only really seen the top half of each other on Skype, what if he actually thinks me a fat buttered baked potato?  I realise it's not massively likely because I think he likes me for me, for my brains and wit (ha, it's bad to say this out loud isn't it, I'm not being arrogant I promise), well you have to hope so because if he's expecting Miss World to turn up and it's me, well that's not going to work is it?

Okay, so I've been on first dates before and I've mostly just winged it, none have been too disastrous but then it's probably because I didn't care whether they worked or not, this is different because whilst it's technically a first date, we have been Skype dating for 3 months, please tell me it's not all going to fall apart because my body is akin to that of a giant white jelly baby!

I think I picked the wrong week to rejoin Slimming World, withdrawing from medication plus a new healthy eating regime was always going to be a bit of a fail but hopefully getting back on the meds plus regaining my happy outlook and I should be able to say no to chocolate and yes to spinach once again, I love spinach, no, really, I do.  One thing we must note, though, Pickled Onions will never be cake and it doesn't matter how many ways you try to introduce that subject or theory (who's theory, I'm not entirely sure, clearly they're deluded) it's just not true, I get none of the pleasure from a pickled onion that I do from cake or chocolate and if I ever hear this untruth at any time in the future I shall be tempted to throw a jar of said pickles at the proclaimers head (not at the Proclaimers, they're lovely bespectacled geeky singers with guitars, I'm sure they wouldn't say such things).  We do know though and there's no doubt about this, my funny, my humour, my whimsical synapses, they're definitely returning and that's something to be celebrated and you know the best way to celebrate...

Slice of Victoria sponge anyone?

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