Photographer of Families, Small People and Delightful Places, Travel and Lifestyle Writer and Blogger, Lives in Newcastle, Loves the North, Often Accompanied By A Beagle Named Holly Bobbins

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Why I don't live with my mum by Abigail Charlton, aged 14.5



I moved out of my mums house to live with my dad and grandad in the autumn of  2014, this was after my dad had already left about 2 months earlier. It was not an easy decision but I can say I would do it again because it has been the best thing possible to ensure I retain a good relationship with my mum. 

I love my mum unconditionally and forever! It was difficult to leave at 13, knowing that it was hurting my mum. Even though I sort of hated her at that time it didn't mean that I didn't feel guilty for leaving her. However I am so grateful that she allowed me the choice to go wherever I was happiest.

I'd spent 13 years on top of my sister, brother and mums' toes always feeling cramped so when the opportunity came to have my own space, I took it! The most difficult part of moving out for me was not seeing Laura (my younger sister) as much as I wanted to. In the beginning I was so happy to be away from her, as being so close in age was very difficult particularly when you're both teenagers! 

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss going home to my mum and talking about my day, or chatting with Laura before bed about school and gossip and stuff like that! I miss playing sing star and screaming down the stairs at my mum to turn the radio down as she blared music whilst making tea.  Truthfully I miss having a mum to come home and cry with after a hard day. I never realised how much girls need there mums up to now, because you never realise what something means to you until its gone.

Living with my dad has been fantastic though, I've got my own room and space to breath! Space to scream at the world for sucking but also to dance around my room! My relationship with Laura is also better as she has her own space, however I often worry that she hates me sometimes for leaving her. She denies it but I was always there for her as a sister and friend but also as an outlet to scream at! I rely on her just as much as she relies on me.  Overall, I'm glad I left my mums house 2 years ago.  

To finish I would like to say that if any parents are out there with children who want to leave home to go live with there dad or mum, I think you should let them (obviously that has exceptions), because at the end of the day, though it may be unbearably hard to begin with they will come back to you in one way or another because children and young people need their mums and dads no matter how much they deny it.


My darling Abigail, watching you leave was the hardest thing I've ever done as a mum but to let you go was to set you free to find yourself and it worked, when you left you were angry and cross and you hated me on the outside but I always knew that one day we would have the best relationship and I am so proud of that, we laugh together and sometimes we cry together, we talk about everything, some things we do just to freak out your sister, heehee  I will always love you and I do miss you every day that I don't see you but I hope we make up for it in the times we are together, I'll never stop being grateful that you are my wonderful amazing Abigail and I am proud of you every single day, I love you so very much.

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