I don't know how you're feeling at this point in the summer holidays but I am exhausted, it could be because I just shot my 2nd wedding in 3 days or it could be the fact that I planned a never ending summer of fun and excitement and let me tell you, that's quite a feat, for the last few weeks I have lived out of a suitcase, I think there's only been one week where there was no travel planned or actually there was I was just too tired to actually go so I took a loss on the cheap train tickets. Today we're going to stay in a bunk barn at the Bells of Hemscott, a favourite place for us and this time I'm going with Harriet, Looby and Looby's best friend Elisha who will be playing the part of Abigail, Abigail didn't think she would be able to come as she's finally having braces fitted today, it's taken 2 long years to get to this point and some of the stages have not been without pain but at least the future holds for her straight teeth, no underbite and no overbite, to me, she's so beautiful that it doesn't matter but to her it's the world.
Looby continues to thrive and grow, grow being the important word, I stood next to her just the other day and noticed that she's only an inch or so shorter than me, I'm not even sure when that happened but she's certainly not little Looby any longer although she'll always be my baby, who can believe that she's going to be 13 in a month, certainly not me! It's a stage in your life when your baby becomes a teenager and I'm still not sure I'm old enough to have grown up children.
Next week marks 2 years of being a single parent, a challenge I wasn't ready to face and something that still makes me feel sad that I just couldn't cling on and make things work, in saying that I am happier than I have ever been I think, I have freedom and laughter and adventures every week, I have no one to judge me and a whole lot of love in my life, one day I hope to find that special person who'll love me for just who I am but that's no mean feat and I'm still not ready, the thought of a new relationship terrifies the life out of me and I'm wondering if that will ever change, it's different being single in your 40's, the world of the opposite sex does not seem to open anymore and my social anxiety doesn't really get me out enough in the right places for me to even have a chance of meeting someone. I do have moments of loneliness but then i'm ever grateful for the friendships I have, friends are so important to me, they are my family, some of them I see almost every day or week and some I hardly see at all because our lives are so busy but they mean just as much to me and I love that when we do meet up or just speak via text or message that we can pick up where we left off and there's a comfort in that.
I wasn't really sure what I was going to write about when I sat down to write this post, I had no title, I'd just woken up as tired as I was when I went to sleep but I felt compelled to open up my macbook and write down the jumble of thoughts that had collected in my head. Whilst I openly use my blog as part of my business, I never want it to become a place which isn't really me anymore, I never want it to just become about business or sponsored posts, infographics and giveaways because that's not just me and my business is me, the lines between my work and my personal life are so entwined that I cannot exist without either, I do not want to exist as any other person than the one who I am right now.
On Sunday I leave for Barcelona, I could pretend that I'll just lie around by a pool reading books for 5 days but I think we all know that would be a downright lie, you can't go to Barcelona and do nothing, theres too much to see and do, Gaudi, Picasso, Dali all left their mark on Barcelona and my list of things to do means an almost minute to minute schedule although I have promised Harriet we will have siesta time, an hour by the pool reading the aforementioned book! Park Guell, Tibidabo, La Sagrada Familia, I could go on but I think there's not going to be a whole lot of standing still for very long, hopefully I'll come back lighter and brighter!
The kids go back to school 2 weeks today so if you are still enjoying the summer holidays, then you need to make sure that in the next 2 weeks you make each precious second count!