Last night, Skype date number 3 and Mr France had put himself on a curfew because he was shattered and had to be up super early today for his children, it's quite endearing as I don't think I've ever put myself on a curfew before but perhaps I should start?
Of course, Skyping Mr France before bed always keeps me awake, I usually remember all of the things I was going to tell him but forgot whilst we were actually Skyping, sometimes our conversations are so whimsical and ludicrous that I can't even remember them, we do throw some serious stuff in there for good measure but I love that he's as whimsical as I am, in fact I would go so far as to say that he's sometimes more whimsical and that's what you have to love about him, there's literally no one else in the whole world like him, I could search the planet for the rest of my life and there's no way I would find someone even vaguely similar, he's just the right kind of crazy bonkers for me!
Something kept me awake last night though and yes, I realise I'm not exactly sleeper of the year at the moment but bear with me, you see we were talking and I think anyone who knows me probably knows who Mr France is but it's not the same for him, he said he can't blog about me because he's unable to be even slightly subtle and would end up just talking about me, Mandy! This is all fine but it got me thinking, maybe I should just reveal who he is now because it's not just my story anymore, it's our story and by keeping his identity secret maybe I am inhibiting his story and he's someone who blogs with passion and has the same view as me, that his blog is his story, his log of who he was for his descendants (sorry for paraphrasing Mr France, if you're reading).
The reason I called Mr France by not his real name was that it was easier to write about him without calling him by his true identity and also there was always the chance that once we got to our Skype date that we wouldn't have got on etc but I really don't see anyone in my future now apart from him, it's almost certainly got to be long term and at a slow pace because of our lives and the distance we live apart but that's kind of the best bit, I said to him last night that I have no intention of ever getting in the way of how is life is, I just want to add to it, enhance it, I guess I want to be like the best kind of buttercream icing on the perfect cake or the glorious soft pink sponge in a Battenberg (that's the only part I like actually but Ssh).
There's not a day goes by where I don't speak to Mr France and in each day that I have known him he's brought me happiness and laughter, I said last night that if we went too long without Skyping that I would miss his face and it's true, this small, sensitive pocket-sized man has found the empty space in my heart and I think just nestled himself in there, there's no denying that if I was a kitten I would be smitten!
You know, we're grown-ups, we both have life and complications, neither of us is entirely perfect but as I've found in the past, perfection is unattainable and not what it's cracked up to be, being good enough, that's where it is and I am definitely good enough and Mr France, well he's way more than good enough for me because he might not be perfect but for me he's perfect.
So maybe now I will just tell you all, I'd love to be able to introduce you all, maybe you'll all start reading his blog too, it's different to mine and he's way more successful in the blogging world than I am but as these things go, I need to collect my own thoughts and I need to ask him what he thinks about that because whilst it's my story and our story, it's not my place to out him in any sense of the word so let's just say, watch this space...