I'll let you into a secret, I have a bit of an obsession, I'd call it a love but really, it's slightly more questionable than that! You see, not only is it bad enough that I'm prone to bouts of feelings of utter aloneness but I also seem to have an addiction to the kind of movies which end up making me seriously emotionally overwrought.
I'm not at all sure there's a cure and really, I have always been like this, I remember splitting up with one of my first boyfriends who I was with for four years and then torturing myself by going to the cinema alone to see movies like Strictly Ballroom ("A life lived in fear is a life half-lived" fans of the movie will know what I'm talking about with that quote!) whilst weeping softly into my popcorn for one.
So let's look at yesterday, a pretty good day on the whole until I got home from work and started to download classics from Sky Cinema on demand. I decided the movies I needed to watch were, When Harry Met Sally, St Elmo's Fire and The Holiday, all in one night, back to back, I should also state that I was saved from being a complete emotional wreck by Martyn who I chatted to on Twitter instead of just sitting in the middle of my rug, rocking back and forth weeping!
When Harry Met Sally is a movie I have loved ever since the first time I saw it, I must have seen it over a hundred times but there's no movie which sums up true love and friendship more eruditely than When Harry Met Sally and when Harry decides that he just has to spend the rest of his life with Sally and the rest of his life has to start right now, well that's me in tears lamenting that I once had that, I need to have it again and why don't I have it right now? Honestly dear readers, I've had therapy, I am mostly not a tragic effigy of myself so please don't feel too sorry for me!
St Elmo's Fire, I don't even know why I cry in this movie, it's just from the eighties, it's the brat pack classic and I'm even sure the story is still relevant but then Andrew McCarthy has that crush on Ally Sheedy it just serves to remind me of how painful unrequited love can be, when I'm emotionally overwrought you can be sure I'll find a reason to cry!! I will say though that if you are a child or teen of the eighties and you haven't seen this movie you really need to even if it's just to see a young Rob Lowe, how on earth is it that the man looks way better now than he did then?
And so we come onto The Holiday, and you only have to watch it once to know it's never a movie you should watch if you are feeling at all lonely or alone or you're just craving to be coupled or you like someone and can't find the words to tell them or you're in an unrequited love situation, this movie pretty much has it all and that's before you even add Christmas into the mix. You know the bit which got me last night? When Jude Law is crying and tells Cameron Diaz that he's fallen in love with her, it's just the most beautiful moment and I crave with all of my heart for it to happen to me again one day, ok, there don't have to be tears but I wouldn't complain if someone wanted to show emotions other than me, I am definitely open to spending the rest of my life with someone more sensitive with an ability to show feelings rather than be a mannish buffoon who thinks it's weak to show any hint of them.
Emotions in their fullest extent are a pretty new thing for me, I spent way too long in the overmedicated wilderness and so I'm really embracing them but I do currently feel like I need to get over myself a little, true love is out there I'm sure of it and as a paragon of positivity is it really good to end up in situations where you constantly end up in tears?