Yesterday I was sitting in the car talking to Harriet about the very thing I'm writing about now and she told me that I must write this article so here it is. We were talking about an adorable 3 year old I'd just photographed and I commented that really we all just want to be loved in the same way we love our children and here's why...
We love our children in an unconditional way, when tiny children do the smallest things we celebrate, we tell them how amazing they are, we show them how proud we are of the littlest things, I've commented before in passing that I want to be a 2 year old so that everyone would cheer just because I ate a piece of fruit or put my toys away!
Now imagine if you will that you have a partner, someone you adore, what if they came home and said they'd had a great day at work and you used the same psychology, what if you told them they were the most amazing person because they were so unique to have done what they'd done, what if you treat the person you love with the same love as a small child? If they in turn started to treat you in the same way you'd end up with the most amazing partnership with utterly unconditional love where you celebrated even the smallest joys and when there were sorrows you took that person you love in your arms and you comforted them in the same way as you do with that small child? It's my theory that you would end up being happy for the rest of your life, now I'm not saying there won't be times when your other half wouldn't annoy you but then there are times when a 3 year old will drive you to want to lock yourself in a cupboard for half an hour, you know 3 year olds, they're a force to be reckoned with. But what I'm saying is go out there and love your husband/wife/lover in the same way you love a small child, nurture them, comfort them, celebrate them and you will have yourself the most magical relationship you could have ever imagined.
You see we all just want to be loved and nurtured and comforted and celebrated the way our children are and me included, in fact I won't give up my solitude for anything less than I've described because I've seen it from the other side, I really truly did love in that same way I've described but if it doesn't come back, well you can see why that wouldn't work.
Let's take this further, to be loved and accepted just like I've described it starts with you, yes you, right there, it starts with you loving yourself in the same way, treat yourself as you would a small child, celebrate your victories, comfort yourself in the hard times but truly cherish the amazing unique person that you actually are. It's fair to say that if you don't love yourself you are not going to be in the right mindset to be open to unending and unconditional love and I know that in all I have written this is the hardest thing, to truly love yourself, how many of us can say we even know what that means, it's taken me so much time, but you know what I think I am there, I think I can accept that I'm pretty bloody unique and perhaps that is why for the first time in my life I am so happy to actually be single, I joke to Laura and Harriet that I haven't even got time to have a relationship now because I'm out there every day working hard, having so much fun and doing the best things with my friends, I'm sure one day someone will come along but if they're not prepared to love me like a small child or to let me love them in the same nurturing unconditional way then I am not even going to be interested. Oh and this whole theory of mine, you should go out there and love your friends in the exact same way and then you will have the best friendships for the rest of your life because everyone no matter how young or old they are all want to be loved and cherished in the same way we love and cherish a small child.